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Police chase after a little piggy that went to the market
(www.msn.com)
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Japan hiker fell into snow-covered hole. Unfortunately for him, hole contained hibernating bear who soon unhibernated and became very angry
(soranews24.com)
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Introducing the new PEF Advantage C 2000‑600, which sets a new benchmark in large‑caliber crop processing. So if you need to deploy high-caliber indirect potato gun fire, you're in luck
(www.potatonewstoday.com)
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Black riders have always held the reins, and not just while hunting hobbits in the Shire
(www.hcn.org)
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The search for Florida's wild macaques continues. Which is odd, because normally those things just pop up all the time in Florida
(www.clickorlando.com)
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Washington, DC experienced all four seasons in one day
(www.msn.com)
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Bonobos are famous for their "sex instead of fighting" attitudes, but it turns out that they do fight. Females beat up males to keep them subordinate
(www.livescience.com)
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Catholics are pulling a Homer and slowly backing away from Peter Thiel
(apnews.com)
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As many as one million g-g-ghost cars may be on the roads in France. Who ya gonna call?
(www.bbc.com)
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Dubai tourism board assures you there are no missiles hiatting the city and anyone filming evidence to the contrary will be arrested, so book your vacation now
(www.bbc.com)
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"Wired headphone sales are exploding. Why?" Because no one wants to buy expensive, overpriced earbuds that just fall out and get lost?
(www.bbc.com)
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Ohio man arrested for repeatedly honking his horn in the Walmart parking lot
(local12.com)
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Georgia House passes bill to let pharmacists dispense birth control without prescriptions. Yes, the Georgia in the U.S
(www.wabe.org)
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Today's "this isn't The Onion?" headline: Kash Patel Confirms UFC Fighters Will Train FBI Agents This Week, Calling It A "Historic Opportunity"
(deadline.com)
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Chairman of the Niagara Region Municipality forced to resign just because he collects old books. That's terrib---wait, *who* signed one of his books?
(www.ctvnews.ca)
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Random people getting 1099's from Uber realize there's a whole bunch of unknown characters dodging security checks on drivers by stealing identities. Uber sticks fingers in ears; "LA LA LA I CANT...
(www.cbsnews.com)
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Texas bucks another trend by outlawing smokeable cannabis while increasing dispensaries state fees by 50x next month
(www.kut.org)
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Have a flight this week? Leave now
(abc7news.com)
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Waffle House bans Florida governor candidate from all restaurants in the state. At least he'll always have IHOP for his 2 AM drunken fistfights in the parking lot
(www.clickorlando.com)
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Skiing industry's biggest problem: Too many olds skiing, not enough young people. And somehow not global warming or the fact that it's expensive?
(www.cbc.ca)
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Your child is too much of a weakling to resists fast food and screens, but don't worry. NPR is here to help
(www.npr.org)
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It's not news, it's Google's AI overviews
(futurism.com)
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Jabbandon the Hutt
(www.ctvnews.ca)
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Drives a Kia, face tats, fled a DUI checkpoint, fought the cops and pretended to have a gun...*BINGO*, we have a moron bingo
(www.msn.com)
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Recognizing the pain of the high cost of living, Florida House passes tax cut on gun accessories like holsters, suppressors and sights. Also Budweiser. Problem solved
(www.cbsnews.com)
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