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The Onion !theonion@midwest.social
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New “Grandma Flocker” Camera System Promises to Help Families With Dementia [OC] 0 bradorsomething 17 »
Meet the Secretary of Fertility (www.mcsweeneys.net) 0 CombatWombat 22 »
Seattle Police Chief Assures City He Commutes Back to Chicago to See Wife, Kids as Little as Possible (theneedling.com) 0 CombatWombat 40 »
Neighbourhood kid who just learned to ride bike now logging 14-hour shift delivering Uber Eats (www.thebeaverton.com) 9 TribblesBestFriend 152 »
You Impale One Guy, and Suddenly You’re “Vlad the Impaler” (www.mcsweeneys.net) 1 CombatWombat 56 »
SPD Wondering What’s Taking Mayor Katie Wilson So Long to Find Second Shooting Suspect (theneedling.com) 5 CombatWombat 25 »
Affordable Midlife Crisis Options for Millennials (www.mcsweeneys.net) 3 CombatWombat 52 »
I Have Never Made This Recipe, but I Give It Five Stars (www.mcsweeneys.net) 3 CombatWombat 36 »
I’m Thrilled to Be Back from Maternity Leave (www.mcsweeneys.net) 2 CombatWombat 46 »
New Geneva Convention Allows Use Of Child Soldiers With Signed Permission Slip (theonion.com) 3 Midnight 82 »
Rationale For War With Iran Or Reason Men Back Into Parking Spaces? (www.mcsweeneys.net) 1 CombatWombat 13 »
ICE says Americans have no reason to worry about its new MQ-9 Reapers Officials describe drones as “community-oriented aerial law enforcement” (www.duffelblog.com) 9 CubitOom 79 »
The Old Man and the Strait (www.mcsweeneys.net) 0 CombatWombat 39 »
I Watched the Copa Mundial Non-Stop on Telemundo for Cinco Weeks and Now I Don’t Hablar Inglés Anymore (www.mcsweeneys.net) 1 CombatWombat 44 »
I’m Jimothy, the Short-Spined Raccoon Who Has Taken the Internet by Storm, and the Collective Weight of Your Adoration Is Breaking My Already-Compromised Back (www.mcsweeneys.net) 0 CombatWombat 46 »
Man Who Bet Lindsey Grahm’s Death Wouldn’t Involve Gay Sex Say He Plans to Retire [OC] 4 bradorsomething 68 »
Use of a Bidet Legally Defined as Illegal Sex Act by Texas State House [OC] 0 bradorsomething 7 »
Republicans transfer Linsey Graham’s remaining life force to Mitch McConnell (www.thebeaverton.com) 4 cannedtuna 53 »
Family That Left Food Out on Porch for St. Jimothy Wakes Up to Yard Full of Presents (theneedling.com) 1 CombatWombat 20 »
Whole Nation Misses President’s Speech Because Jimothy (theneedling.com) 1 CombatWombat 22 »
The UK government has announced mandatory eye covers for teens under 17, aiming to protect their eyes from fatigue and to shield them from the ugliness of this world. (www.refinery29.com) 13 Viking_Hippie 242 »
Effective Immediately, Every God-Fearing Soldier Will Be Jacked to the Gills with Testosterone (www.mcsweeneys.net) 8 Sundray 85 »
Paramedics Praised For Being Too Late To Save Lindsey Graham (theonion.com) 1 jballs 188 »
Republicans transfer Lindsey Graham’s remaining life force to Mitch McConnell (www.thebeaverton.com) 0 ShaggySnacks 132 »
Republicans Drop AI Mitch McConnell Avatar After it Tries to Pass Healthcare Reform [OC] 0 bradorsomething 26 »
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