Link: https://www.polygon.com/video-game-romances-need-to-grow-up/

Archived version: https://web.archive.org/web/20260214075750/https://www.polygon.com/video-game-romances-need-to-grow-up/

BG3 romances seem shallow and kind of transactional because it is a mix of characters who don't know each other having a whirlwind romance in a relatively short period of time. They are easily comparable to the majority of romances in movies and books with similar circumstances.

The other thing that is always going to make romances in games difficult to do in more detail is a lack of real world senses that play a huge part in attraction. Smells, tone of voice, flirting based on what is cutrently happening are either impossible or extremely time consuming to implement in a computer game. Like you could luck into picking the right cologne for a character or something, but that is along the same lines as picking the right voice lines.

Not saying it is literally impossible to do, but it really is a monumental task to implement relationships that don't seem forced or obviously mechanical in a video game. If they did implement one perfectly, the randomness of real life would make it nearly impossible to have a romance as there are so many things that can easily derail a relationship forming including just not being in the mood to reciprocate affection because of some completely unrelated event!

As every generation ends up saying, romance is dead.

This is a really weird way to argue a weird point. I think, the main issue is, most games are closer to boardgames than movies. And the author places them too close to movies.

And you can build boardgames for romance, sure. But, unless the romance is part of the core game loop, it's something that breaks the flow of the game. So it gets abstracted away, or the romance is expressed in terms of the core game mechanics. Which, in video games are often reaching the next scene, dialog trees or gaining stat points.

And, even if you think they're closer to movies, then most video games are closest to action movies. And here the word romance isn't used. It's just renamed love interest and is often just the price for saving the world, but the core 'mechanics' are the same.

And most romances will start as fun flings full of hope, not with the nitty-gritty logistics.
The logistics will come later, sure. But most Video-Games are set romantically in a few weeks of summer camp, so there is no need to figure out logistics just yet.

Open-World games, that have a character that travels around and meets people as part of their daily lives, sure.

But this argument would apply to games like the Elder Scrolls series. Not Cyberpunk 2077 in which the main character is dying and has only weeks left to live.

But, I do concede that most romances do fall flat once you've reached the top. You had your sex-scene and you may have your kisses, your hugs, the new greetings in dialogue, and the characters return to being cardboard in the background. I know it's hard to implement, but still, it would be nice, if they could then play a larger role in, for example, the main story.

This brings me to an interesting question, only briefly touched upon in the article (and with too few examples): which is the best video game romance so far?

Depends if you want to include actual romance games into the evaluation, because those are entirely dedicated to romance itself, making games like Baldur's Gate hard to compare against.

Well no, I'm mostly interested in games with a side of romance. I would expect to be able to hold actual romance games and visual novels etc to a higher standard. Though actually it would be interesting to compare the best romance game/visual novel romance to the best "video game romance".

I'd probably argue games that 'can' do this well is JRPGs because they tend to be a slow burn and have a lot of small side conversations that are not directly plot related, which allows the characters and relationships to get fleshed out.

The ones that immediately come to mind are FF 8/9/10 but I'm certain there are others.

In games where the romance is like a mechanic and not a part of the story? Hmm that's a tougher question because I think mechanics/gameification tend to ruin the human part of relationship building.

Ellie and Dina in The Last of Us 2 maybe?

Or, and maybe I'm the weird one here, we shouldn't include romance in games. We absolutely shouldn't have the players' avatars involved in those romances. Games are escapist fantasy, and I don't believe it's helpful to allow anyone to experience romantic things in an escapist context - that should be constrained to the real world.

Then again, I think the only game I've played with a narrative that I really appreciate anymore is Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. So maybe I'm just old and jaded.

Very well put.

To touch on the point of "where do video games fit in media"; I am reminded of an old video that sticks with me, roughly shortly after the release of Elder Scrolls Oblivion, with Sir Patrick Stewart on the topic of covering games and whether they are art.

He put forward the framing of "who is telling the story" to classify where video games fall closest as art. You have four possible personas in storytelling/art:
• the author
• the director
• the actors
• the audience
He then broke down who is telling the story:
• in paintings and carvings, it is the artist telling all of the story directly through the media.
• in books, it is a combination of the author and the reader, it is the author's words that create the story through the filter and imagination of the readers mind.
• on stage, it is the actors that tell the story to the audience.
• in film, it is the director telling the story through the performances of the actors who all filter the words of the writer.

He stated how he marveled at video games because they represent a new media where the storyteller is the audience directly. Yes the writer lays out the possible elements, the actors, if present, influence how the characters are percieved, and the director pulls all of that together.

But it is the audience that creates the story in every run through every action they take in the game, and as such they are closest to books.

Insofar as romance and based on the above, I think that once the planned beats are played out it is up to the audience as the storyteller to create the rest of the romance.

You listen to Shadowheart's story in Baldur's Gate 3 and, since you pass no judgment, fall in love.

Not that different than a lot of the relationships I had when I was young to be honest.

Multidimensional choose your own adventure.

You know how people build relationships in meatspace? Lore dumps.

I think this essentially gets at the same point of criticism: Do it properly or don't do it at all. If you want romance, then write a romantic story with real love and loss that allows players to experience these feelings through their characters, but not shallow "romance options" like the ones that are included in so many games nowadays and that feel like the equivalent of reading two pages of a character's diary.

BG3 dialogue and story is also crafted to be "over the top", where everything is always stressful and everyone has some crazy insane magical high stakes backstory. Of course the romance, such as it is, isn't going to feel realistic.

Not sure if this qualifies, but I found the (past) relationship between Kratos and Faye in the new God of War games really touching.

Other examples I can think of: Ellie and Dina (TLOU2), Tidus and Yuna (FFX), Geralt and Yennefer depending on how you play (TW3).

"Thank you for coming. It was nice of your friend to help us meet."

" I was there. I was there 3000 years ago ... when Isildur took the Ring. I was there the day the strength of men failed. I led Isildur into the heart of Mount Doom, where the Ring was forged, the one place It could be destroyed! It should have ended that day, but evil was allowed to endure. Isildur kept the ring. The line of kings is broken. There's no strength left in the world of Men. They're scattered, divided, leaderless."

"...o-kay. Would you like to share some entrées or .. Let's order some drinks first."

Well, I listen to Shadowheart's story and since I'm a warlock who pacted with an evil master just because I wanted to do cool tricks, I felt I shouldn't judge.
(Also she is a ride or die goth girl).

Though the frog lady is the best.

I am ok with having transactional vg relationships. I mean, if I could marry in factorio I would probably automate it and have an exponentially increasing number of partners.

only one right answer here

Yes, also meatspace romance is built not just on the pivotal but a whole lot on the mundane.

Romances are stupid shallow fluff that serve no purpose except to draw in lonely people. They’re idiotic and predatory.

As a Durge i’m always like “tell me more, i’m intrigued.” She loves that answer.

and horny! sometimes its not enough that they are naked!

I like the head of the bandit troop under the burning city.

I liked Haven's romance, because it's the only game that actually bothers to show the actual relationship.

Too many games show romance as a slow burn which eventually culminates in a kiss at the very end of the game (and then roll credits), or a checklist that eventually ends with the two characters mimicking sexual intercourse within the boundaries of video game physics, and then... Nothing, because the sex scene is the "reward" for going through the checklist, not the beginning of an actual relationship.

Haven begins when the two characters are already in love. They flee to some deserted planet and live their happy life. They joke, they play, they have sex, they argue and talk and annoy each other. It's one of the most convincing relationships I've seen in a video game.

I'm Ace, and the game made me realize that I don't hate sex. I just hate the way sex is usually portrayed in media.

Guilty as charged

Huh, had no idea that game existed but that does look pretty different from what we usually see.

But iwant my romance with the frog-lady to be realistic!

I think it also makes them feel more shallow because the characters are all "player-sexual" to use an industry term. Basically every character is into you if you want them to be.

I'd love to see more games have characters with preset likes and dislikes and how you've built and played your character will determine who will be interested (and who will shoot you down!)

Shallow and rushed, since it has to develop in a few dozen hours of gameplay with a limited number of NPCs!

There's genres of games that are supposed to be relationship sims and nothing else. The relationships and characters are still hollow and would only draw in the loneliest people.

Do you mean the lady from WhoVille?

“I’m horny and they’re hot” leads to a lot of shallow “understanding” of someone’s shitty behavior.

They make good points until this bullshit:

But if video games are ever going to be taken seriously as an artistic medium, they have to grow up, and that means learning how to love authentically.

No. That take is horseshit. They don't have to do anything to be taken seriously as art. They already are. If you can't see it because it doesn't tick some of your boxes that's a you issue.

I just ignore all romance in games because even at its best; it’s cringy and makes me feel weird and uncomfortable.

Some games are art. Some are money grabs or outright scams.

For me, romances are just so they can carry shit that I find.

Pack mule romance. Love it.

If you don't mind sharing, what are the differences in how sex is portrayed in this game vs how you don't like it?

Bonjour

Are you my girlfriend?

We need videogame romances where you are both so enamored with each other; every answer is stupid and cringe but to them it's the most romantic thing ever. Also the sex is silly and awkward and kinda gross, but they both have fun, a good laugh and enjoy it.

May I recommend Haven then

I agree with the other comment about Haven, but I'll also plug in Potionomics. It's more gamified in terms of giving gifts to the chosen NPC you wanna court, but the voice lines and the way the love interest acts feels fairly natural in my opinion. And nothing ends after kissing, it just becomes deeper.

Buuuut that's just, like, my opinion, man.

Lol, no, but I've been there. "Can you meet me at my apartment? I bought a dresser I need your 'help' with"

DayZ. The warming embrace of the games player base envelops you like a warm blanket.

Gamers aren't ready for that level of realism.

So I have to roleplay romance in my role playing game? I don't play role playing games to play roles! /s

And that’s true for any “artistic” medium as well