RetroFed Forum
Your home away from modern life.
'Gay walking speed' may have unexpected health benefits, experts say
Post Reply
AuthorMessage
return2ozma lemmy.world return2ozma@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-01
Quote

232   Original
paraphrand lemmy.world paraphrand@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-12
#2 · Quote Reply

lol what? I’ve never heard this stereotype.

105
saltnotsugar lemmy.world saltnotsugar@lemmy.world
Joined: 2025-06-04
#3 · Quote Reply

Unidentified submersible bearing 323, moving at gay walking speed. -Das Boot maybe

40
NoSpotOfGround lemmy.world NoSpotOfGround@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-01
#4 · Quote Reply

Unidentified submersible bearing 323, moving at gay walking speed. -Das Boot maybe

Set course bearing 323, full gay ahead!

19
Tanis Nikana lemmy.world tanisnikana@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-19
#5 · Quote Reply

Move, I’m gay.

35
massive_bereavement fedia.io massive_bereavement@fedia.io
Joined: 2024-06-14
#6 · Quote Reply

Set course bearing 323, full gay ahead!

Suction on After Trim, gay venting.

9
zout fedia.io zout@fedia.io
Joined: 2024-03-16
#7 · Quote Reply

TIL I'm gay. Great, now I've got to tell my wife I suppose.

27
blx piefed.zip blx@piefed.zip
Joined: 2025-08-27
#8 · Quote Reply

Fast and bi-curious?

40
RustyShackleford piefed.social RustyShackleford@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-11-27
#9 · Quote Reply

lol what? I’ve never heard this stereotype.

Nor have I, but I guess this definitely rules out being gay based on my walking speed lol.

21
IndustryStandard lemmy.world IndustryStandard@lemmy.world
Joined: 2024-01-18
#10 · Quote Reply

Pythagoras claim that walking in a straight line is the fastest way has been debunked. Walking in a gay line is faster.

70
Iunnrais piefed.social Iunnrais@piefed.social
Joined: 2026-02-04
#11 · Quote Reply

The fuck does walking speed have to do with orientation? Do men get less gay as they get older and slow down?

24
ruuster13 lemmy.zip ruuster13@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2025-07-09
#12 · Quote Reply

Brisk walking places greater demand on the heart, lungs, and muscles than slower walking.

The article ignores causality to make our walking speed this quirky thing. In reality our heart beats faster because of historical trauma and hypervigilance, which the body automatically converts into increased walking speed. It might be adaptive but it's not fun constantly looking over your shoulder to watch for danger.

11
StillAlive piefed.world StillAlive@piefed.world
Joined: 2025-11-09
#13 · Quote Reply

Republicans on their way to make gaywalking a crime.

19
Apytele sh.itjust.works Apytele@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2023-06-12
#14 · Quote Reply

Pythagoras claim that walking in a straight line is the fastest way has been debunked. Walking in a gay line is faster.

underrated comment

0
9point6 lemmy.world 9point6@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-12
#15 · (edited) Quote Reply

fellas, is it gay to walk quickly?

58
Lost_My_Mind lemmy.world Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
Joined: 2024-05-07
#16 · Quote Reply

fellas, is it gay to walk quickly?

I hope not. I usually walk quickly, with purpose. I hate these types that can best be described as "waddling". Just like a sloth cosplaying as a duck. And somehow they manage to just stand in doorways, and block isles. Meanwhile I'm in my head thinking "HEY FUCKFACE!!! MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASS!!!"

And then I wonder if I might have anger management issues. Then I realized I haven't punched anyone in a really long time, so that's close enough to managed anger. So that means these wastes of space really are that annoying to walk behind. Shopping doesn't have to take 2 hours. You can be in and out in like 10 minutes. You just gotta know what you're buying, and where it is. But then these types just.....exist.

So I just want everyone to know, that if you could lose a race to a snail, I want you to know that everyone hates you. If you're going to walk this slow, just get a mobility scooter. Maybe you'll be faster on wheels. Which means out of my way faster. And really, that's the ultimate goal here, right? Getting everyone out of my way. I think that's a goal everyone should work towards. That, and finding someone willing to bring me cheese regularly.

I really like cheese.

But also, I'm not gay. I had no idea speed was gay? Then again, I don't notice these things. I'm always the last to know if someone is gay. I didn't realize Richard Simmons was gay until 1995. I got made fun of for not knowing. And that's how I found out.

22
Lemminary lemmy.world Lemminary@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-08-13
#17 · Quote Reply

Pythagoras claim that walking in a straight line is the fastest way has been debunked. Walking in a gay line is faster.

Walking in a gay conga line reaches warp speed and emits sparkles.

13
Lemminary lemmy.world Lemminary@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-08-13
#18 · Quote Reply

The fuck does walking speed have to do with orientation? Do men get less gay as they get older and slow down?

Dunno, but it's a common trope among gay men to walk at light speed. I'm incredibly guilty of this. The "move, bitch, I'm gay" struggle is real.

18
Lemminary lemmy.world Lemminary@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-08-13
#19 · Quote Reply

TIL I'm gay. Great, now I've got to tell my wife I suppose.

First you must answer: at what temperature do you drink your coffee?

4
zout fedia.io zout@fedia.io
Joined: 2024-03-16
#20 · Quote Reply

First you must answer: at what temperature do you drink your coffee?

I have no clue tbh, as long as it's warm.

5
lightsblinken lemmy.world lightsblinken@lemmy.world
Joined: 2024-07-07
#21 · Quote Reply

I hope not. I usually walk quickly, with purpose. I hate these types that can best be described as "waddling". Just like a sloth cosplaying as a duck. And somehow they manage to just stand in doorways, and block isles. Meanwhile I'm in my head thinking "HEY FUCKFACE!!! MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASS!!!" And then I wonder if I might have anger management issues. Then I realized I haven't punched anyone i...

imho you are describing managed anger, next step is to zen away to anger in the first place - it does sound slightly above average, all caps is just bad news bro.
anyhoo - you can do it!

4
JustAnotherKay lemmy.world JustAnotherKay@lemmy.world
Joined: 2024-08-25
#22 · Quote Reply

I have no clue tbh, as long as it's warm.

Aw, see that’s the thing. Gay people drink their coffee iced.

10
oats piefed.zip oats@piefed.zip
Joined: 2025-11-28
#23 · Quote Reply

Move, I’m gay.

Nice to meet you gay, I'm moved

12
Whats_your_reasoning lemmy.world Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
Joined: 2024-09-22
#24 · Quote Reply

I never heard of this as "gay." Though my girlfriend and I (female) both walk pretty damn fast, so maybe there's something to it.

18
SirSamuel lemmy.world SirSamuel@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-08-05
#25 · Quote Reply

Unidentified submersible bearing 323, moving at gay walking speed. -Das Boot maybe

More like Dis Booty lmao

3
tomiant piefed.social tomiant@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-08-13
#26 · Quote Reply

Nor have I, but I guess this definitely rules out being gay based on my walking speed lol.

Apparently I'm fascistly gay.

5
tomiant piefed.social tomiant@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-08-13
#27 · Quote Reply

Unidentified submersible bearing 323, moving at gay walking speed. -Das Boot maybe

ALAAAAAAAAAAAARMMMMMM!!!

2
tomiant piefed.social tomiant@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-08-13
#28 · Quote Reply

Move, I’m gay.

I'm getting there at the speed of gay!

5
Jerkface (any/all) lemmy.ca jerkface@lemmy.ca
Joined: 2023-06-06
#29 · Quote Reply

I hope not. I usually walk quickly, with purpose. I hate these types that can best be described as "waddling". Just like a sloth cosplaying as a duck. And somehow they manage to just stand in doorways, and block isles. Meanwhile I'm in my head thinking "HEY FUCKFACE!!! MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASS!!!" And then I wonder if I might have anger management issues. Then I realized I haven't punched anyone i...

I hope not.

Bad take.

5
tomiant piefed.social tomiant@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-08-13
#30 · Quote Reply

Aw, see that’s the thing. Gay people drink their coffee iced.

I am intermittently gay.

5
Jerkface (any/all) lemmy.ca jerkface@lemmy.ca
Joined: 2023-06-06
#31 · (edited) Quote Reply

I bet this has more to do with more gay and trans people more often being neurodivergent than anything else.

5
dellish lemmy.world dellish@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-11
#32 · Quote Reply

It's gay to walk quickly. It's gay to take your own bags to the shops. It's gay to have empathy.

Holy shit there are a lot of people out there who are very insecure with themselves.

131
SaveTheTuaHawk lemmy.ca SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca
Joined: 2025-03-07
#33 · Quote Reply

fellas, is it gay to walk quickly?

Is it gay to have long legs?

11
gravitas_deficiency sh.itjust.works gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2023-06-20
#34 · Quote Reply

I guess “city walking” makes me gay? Is this what they mean by “metrosexual”? Idfk anymore lol

30
DagwoodIII piefed.social DagwoodIII@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-06-17
#35 · Quote Reply

lol what? I’ve never heard this stereotype.

If we're going by stereotypes, the straights should be striding purposefully, laser focused on getting to the building site or gun range.

The gays should be sauntering slowly in painfully tight Italian loafers.

8
bizarroland lemmy.world bizarroland@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-08
#36 · Quote Reply

I am intermittently gay.

Everyone's gay this month. It's okay.

However, if you are in a committed relationship right now, that takes precedence over your gayness and theirs too

3
lovely_reader lemmy.world lovely_reader@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-11-27
#37 · Quote Reply

imho you are describing managed anger, next step is to zen away to anger in the first place - it does sound slightly above average, all caps is just bad news bro. anyhoo - you can do it!

The first step is to want to get rid of the anger though, right? How does one in this state move past the idea that they are right, and therefore it's right to be angry?

7
tmyakal infosec.pub tmyakal@infosec.pub
Joined: 2025-06-04
#38 · Quote Reply

Everyone's gay this month. It's okay. However, if you are in a committed relationship right now, that takes precedence over your gayness and theirs too

Amen to that. My wife and I are both mostly gay, but we're straight for each other.

4
LurkingLuddite piefed.social LurkingLuddite@piefed.social
Joined: 2026-02-04
#39 · Quote Reply

The first step is to want to get rid of the anger though, right? How does one in this state move past the idea that they are right, and therefore it's right to be angry?

You can be right and not angry.

5
DillDough lemmy.zip DillDough@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2025-04-02
#40 · Quote Reply

I bet this has more to do with more gay and trans people more often being neurodivergent than anything else.

You got a source on that by chance? I'm just going by my own anecdotal stuff but I feel like neurodivergence is pretty rampant in straight people too. I guess queers do seem more open to acknowledging neurodivergence and a lot of straights/cissies strive for "normality" or at least the appearance of it.

2
teft piefed.social teft@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-07-22
#41 · Quote Reply

I don’t know if gay guys walk faster but i have noticed when me and my friends walk together we walk way faster than when i’m alone. Does that mean we’re all gay?/s

5
rhymeswithduck sh.itjust.works rhymeswithduck@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2025-06-18
#42 · Quote Reply

Brisk walking places greater demand on the heart, lungs, and muscles than slower walking. The article ignores causality to make our walking speed this quirky thing. In reality our heart beats faster because of historical trauma and hypervigilance, which the body automatically converts into increased walking speed. It might be adaptive but it's not fun constantly looking over your shoulder to wa...

Not everyone walking fast is experiencing trauma flashbacks. Sometimes I'm just impatient and want to get where I'm going.

10
WideEyedStupid lemmy.world wide_eyed_stupid@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-29
#43 · Quote Reply

It's gay to walk quickly. It's gay to take your own bags to the shops. It's gay to have empathy. Holy shit there are a lot of people out there who are very insecure with themselves.

I can see how right-wing idiots might call empathy gay, but bags or walking quickly? I really don't get that.

3
VerilyFemme lemmy.blahaj.zone VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2024-05-18
#44 · Quote Reply

I don’t know if gay guys walk faster but i have noticed when me and my friends walk together we walk way faster than when i’m alone. Does that mean we’re all gay?/s

Underlying homoerotic tension

11
grandma sh.itjust.works grandma@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2024-02-21
#45 · Quote Reply

lol what? I’ve never heard this stereotype.

I must be the gayest mf alive, TIL

2
teft piefed.social teft@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-07-22
#46 · Quote Reply

Underlying homoerotic tension

“Underlying”

4
VerilyFemme lemmy.blahaj.zone VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2024-05-18
#47 · Quote Reply

“Underlying”

Overt homoerotic tension is reserved for world-class sprinters I believe

4
aldhissla piefed.world aldhissla@piefed.world
Joined: 2025-08-26
#48 · Quote Reply

Legend has it, that if you exceed Warp Factor Lilac, you'll circle back to walking at Gay Speed. It's somewhere after the Lizard Stage and before Spaghettification.

3
Zink programming.dev Zink@programming.dev
Joined: 2023-08-08
#49 · Quote Reply

Unexpected?

I appreciate all the funny comments about the gay tie-in, but the "unexpected health benefits" of WALKING is the dumbest attempt at clickbaitizing a headline that I've seen in a while.

21
AllNewTypeFace leminal.space AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space
Joined: 2023-08-20
#50 · Quote Reply

If there are correlations between queerness and neurodivergence, walking faster could be explained by ADHD

1
ObsidianZed lemmy.world ObsidianZed@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-12
#51 · Quote Reply

Fast and bi-curious?

Bike-curious?

6
Post Reply Page 1 of 3   Goto page 1, 2, 3 Last »
Back to top