I'm not the artist, Pizzacake is. Source

Maybe she's the husband in that relationship?

Weaponized Competence!

It's not always the husband.

There are a lot of women who will leave a pan in the sink for a week to "let it soak", leave laundry on the floor all week, and don't know how to cook for themselves besides the most basic shit.

It's not even a gendered issue. Lots of people just do not know how to take care of themselves.

i can only do it for others :( i'm terrible at doing things for myself...

A partner should be a partner

Both parties should be sharing the load, no one person should be shouldering the majority of the load

Cute. But there's such a thing as being too honest. If my friend is struggling with a specific thing I'm excelling at, I don't bring it up, or I downplay it. They'd never ask me to, but I try to be empathetic...

Er, and if your friend asked you directly how that specific thing was going for you, how would you handle that?

I remember my ex-wife telling me something similar - i wasn't even a very good husband because of my psychiatric issues which weren't fixable, but i gave her attention and wanted her to feel good. Seemingly the average hubby is failing even at this if the feedback she got back from her friends and colleagues was worth anything.

Give it a few years they'll get sick of each other.

This is why old married people get nostalgic at weddings, they remember when it was still fun.

Not to say you shouldn't fall in love, just don't expect it to last forever.

Edit: I see young people in here who don't know any old married couples

Again, I downplay it. If I get a massive bonus for Christmas and am asked what I got by a friend I'd said "yeah, I got a bit extra this year" or something. Not "I'm fucking rolling in it, bitches!" if I know they're struggling. Just an example...

Hey, a PizzaCake comic with a punchline! Keep up the good work!

Reads like Pizzacake’s friends need interventions!
Or that Pizzacake is the pariah and she only now learned what they really think of her.
If the latter, I hope pizzacake refers them to a psychiatrist. I hate being the emotional compressor of a group.

I'm a guy and this is me with my friends. Every time we hang out they have such boomer attitudes about their wives, one is even convinced that I'm gonna get divorced just because he did and views all marriages that way. It's depressing, but there is one friend in the group who agrees with me that our wives are our best friends and soulmates.

Skill issue

There we go, I'm just doing my part honey. I couldn't want you to be a pariah!

Haha wife bad. You sure gottem.

I think as long as both people are happy with their part in a relationship then it's fine. Some people really enjoy taking care of others. Some people like specific tasks, whether that's making sure the shelves are stocked or buying Christmas presents or whatever. It's about finding a balance that works.

Wow, you really know how to give compliments.

True, but sharing does not necessarily mean equal parts of all task areas. Financial burdens, home care, chores, child raising, pet care, emotional burdens... there are a lot of things that go into having a relationship with someone that you share a home with, it can be complicated, and it's not always "fair". If one partner handles all of the accounting and tax filing, is that worth doing dishes more often? If one partner is regularly doing home maintenance (like fixing toilets or putting up new shelves), is it fair for the other to do more cooking? If one is stressing out, and the other is providing emotional support, does that balance with emptying the litter box(es)?

It's really difficult to work this out in any useful way, trying to balance regular small tasks with irregular bigger ones, and how do you even value practical vs. emotional labor?

Obviously communicating with your partner is the key, but what does this actually mean? If you sit down and try to work it all out on paper so that it's "fair", you're both going to end up frustrated by the conversation, and you'll be arguing over the specifics again by the end of the week.

You should talk about it, because one partner may be thinking that the other is not doing their share, while being completely oblivious to some load that person is carrying. You should not try to handle this like an accountant with a spreadsheet, and you should not expect that your partner will always be carrying the same amounts of the same loads that you are.

What you should both be doing, is trying to do more than your fair share, because you want to support each other. Charity will take you further than miserliness.

You deserve someone that can reciprocate your support 🫂

I think there's a big difference between that and doing it when it's about a person. I'd imagine the conversation was something like "My husband can't cook at all, how's yours?" and she responded that he's great while the other women agreed that their husbands were awful. Would you instead make your husband sound worse than he is just to fit in with the group? How would you feel about it if it got back to him that you'd said that? Or, conversely, how would you feel about it if you found out that your SO was bad-mouthing you to their friends behind your back just to fit in?

I know for me, if I found out that my wife was complimenting something I did to her friends, that would make my day; if I found out she was downplaying something I thought I did well, it would make me feel pretty awful.

If your friends trash-talk their partner behind their back, guess what they say about you behind yours.

Obviously, sharing the load doesn't mean splitting every individual thing equally.

i still do wonder how good a pizza cake is

Do my friend's grandgrand parents count as "old"? Cuz they are still sometimes lovey dovey in the cheesiest ways I ever saw and didn't know were possible before

how old is "old married couple".

I'm 40 and I've been dating/married to my wife for 14 years. I am still quite happy and in love with her.

Actually after re-counting, I've been married for 14 years, dating for 7 more.

I remember seeing here on Lemmy a while back that a good boyfriend/girlfriend is a best friend where there is also an erotic angle.

OMG! This is sooo me! (the competent one, not the social pariah).

It was in earnest. I'm one of the haters and this got a chuckle out of me.

Do you live in an area that socially disapproves of divorce? In my area there are plenty of unhappy young couples who eventually break up, but the old couples all really like each other because if they didn't, they'd just get divorced.

one is even convinced that I’m gonna get divorced just because he did and views all marriages that way

Classic Divorced Guy

there is one friend in the group who agrees with me that our wives are our best friends and soulmates

Wife and I joke about how we can never get divorced because it would be too awkward when we kept hanging out as friends.

But we also have a friend couple that did get divorced, and still hang out regularly on very good terms.

an erotic angle.

Or at least a cute one

I think people took your comment wrong. If I'm reading correctly, you're saying maybe she is the incompetent one, which I think is a fair comment to make, even though there's no evidence. It's definitely possible?

Seriously, this one was actually a comic, and was funny!

Sounds like a round lasagna with a crust or something like that.

Same! I guess we won’t get branded as incel misogynists this time for saying it’s not funny!

I'm in my fifties and have been married for 30 years.

I love my wife. she's taken such good care of me even though I'm completely undeserving in my opinion.

sounds like you're just a angry child who never learned to love.

Love it, change it or leave it, I guess?

I met my wife, umm, gosh, it was actually 30 years ago. Doesn’t feel like it’s been that long! Yeah sure we have our share of bickering but we also have a lot of laughs together and just enjoy being together. We’re best friends, soul buddies.

Wasn’t always like that, though. I was mentally in a bad space for a while, unhappy and unsatisfied. God I have no idea how she put up with me.

Something clicked when I realized all the unhappiness came from inside me, I was making myself miserable, no one else. And instead of misery, I chose love and remind myself

Always be loving and tolerant. But foremost, don’t be full of yourself

Lol my wife works in a clinic with some folks that are a little messy, with messier SOs.

I get so much goodwill for just laying in the cut. Sending a meme instead of a mean text is apparently a hard hurdle to clear for some folks.

She used to be so funny before she pivoted to "my haters are neckbeard incels" content instead of actual comics.

Edit: looks like she's been making better comics again for about a month or two https://bsky.app/profile/pizzacakecomic.bsky.social

Relationships work best when you just do things.

Only job I don't touch is laundry. I'm perfectly fine doing it, but my spouse has the most convaluted ADHD non-system. When I do help I end up washing clean clothes and putting away dirty clothes because I can't tell what pile is what.

Or a deep dish pizza, although the bull of that is sauce cheese and toppings so maybe a lasagna is kinda more accurate.

I've had the opposite experience. A few year ago a bunch of the guys I hung out with in college got together at a Wurstfest (German festival every November in Bew Braunfels, Texas), and got super drunk. All the married guys were talking about how they just loved their wives so much.

It was super wholesome.

I thought it was a unique way of saying "piece of cake"

And she's saying something positive about men.

Do you think she's OK?

ACE

Ventura, Cute Math Detective

It's people who rush into relationships because they feel like they need one, instead of taking time to find your actual best friend forever.