Yes, but when did she show her ugliest? Some time later, or...?

Partner: (in footie Grinch pajamas) We live in a cynical world, a cynical, cynical world, and we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you. You complete me. And if I just had...

Me: (interrupting) Shut up. Just shut up.....You had me at footie Grinch pajamas. You had me at footie Grinch pajamas.

A girl did that with me once. We didn't get married, but we did have a pretty long relationship.

My current wife used to wear makeup and fake eyelashes and right when we started dating i told her she was only going to ruin her face with that and that it doesn't make that much of a difference.

My wife is 11 years older than me and she occasionally puts on makeup to feel a bit better just for herself, we've been together for 6 years and married since August last year.

Ah yes, glasses. I guess that’s my problem! If only I could see without them I would know this.

I want these footie grinch pajamas

My wife rarely ever puts on makeup. The cost savings alone is amazing enough that i love her for it lol

i was sharing journal excerpts with a friend yesterday and found this relevant one:

"The best advice I have regarding love and finding it is to stop trying so hard to be perfect. People don't want perfect, they want human. A lot of them just don't know it yet."

It’s also kinda hot when a woman lets you see her without being all done up. It’s like a secret privilege of trust.

Can I suggest onions, farting and scratching of ass too? It will weed someone out.

We took it to the extreme. Our first date was a trip to another country with backpacks, a small tent, a bag of rice and one of those small gas stove. She cursed at me and the world on our first hiking trip, while sweating like a horse. She was in a terrible form and do not enjoy hiking trips.

We had to shower in the lakes, and they were cold AF, so.. I did not present myself from my best side..

We also nearly died. But, we've been together for 10+ years now.

We stress tested the shit out of our relationship on that trip.

After our near death experience, we settled somewhere nice, but during that night we were hit by an hurricane and my tent broke, forcing me to stay up all night, holding it together, while she slept. It was a special date.

And the time savings is big too. On the very occasional time my wife puts on makeup to go out, it means I know we're going to be late.

For a first date she willingly followed someone out of the country and into the wilderness‽ It sounds like it worked out well in the end but was she trying to end up as a missing person?

yeah. But, we had known each other since we were 16, but never dated before.

And it shows she not insecure about it. Confidence is attractive.

Woman displays extreme confidence in trusting her date with her authentic self. Surprised pepe when they appreciate that.

Of course if your authentic self is dressed to the nines all day every day then go off queen

This is like Should I Marry a Murderer documentary

Everyone's vision of Perfection is different, so you're really gambling there... I can say that while perfection might look nice on the outside, no one's truly perfect. I don't want to see the facade, I want to see the person underneath. The blemishes and faults and unpolished truth are WAY more attractive.

Men care about a specific silhouette range, and specific disqualifing facial features, and then sometimes horrible personalities, and that is the total sum. Each one of those things is somewhat negotiable if other aspects are superior as well. And the bar lowers depending on the last time they've finished, unless it's been too long, then the bar goes back to baseline. Nobody is that complicated.

I'll buy it.

“Dave was so nice, he was a 6 time widower and loved Freeform hiking. we’d always joke that Susan should stay close or else she’d become number 7. Nobody could have known what he was capable of.”

Image of Dave water skiing suddenly inverts colors

I swear some women are as clueless about men as men are about women. I'm sure huge amount of this is because schools insist that sexed is gender separated.

Why is wearing glasses and pyjamas supposed to be a turn-off?

You know when women go on about how they have to have a different dress for every party, it is literally only women the care. Men aren't going to even notice if you're wearing the same thing two dates in a row. The catty comments come from other women. As a man I don't have nice clothes, I just have clothes. If we're going on a date I'm just going to be wearing clothes, I don't have special items that I only wear on a date so I am really not going to mind if you don't either.

Hey, I think my wife would have been the murderer and not me.

I just feel like expecting perfection - regardless of how you personally define it - is foolish and sets a person up for disappointment.

This seems demeaning and reductionist to both men AND women, which I feel is like an achievement in itself. Well done.

Oof, I don't think I'd like being told that. I don't even wear makeup now that the better Korean and mineral sunscreens are available but for decades used foundation to protect my skin and it worked. I'm with you on the eyelashes but makeup is not in any way ruinous to skin and to come out the gate with a declaration like that, I would have found it so off-putting.

Bro is still holding the marriage together like the tattered tent

Yeah? Well I would rather not have a Jack off sandwich

Dude no shade. But also not all dudes are the same.

For example, I care what a girl wears. I don't care if she wears it many times, but I care if she dresses nicely and works on looking nice. Also I have multiple suits, different clothes for sports, work, camping etc.

Bro..

There's an awful lot of comments here about women not knowing what men find attractive, for it being a post literally about a woman weeding out men by finding what they think is attractive.

I use a wheelchair a lot. I used to be shy about it and try to come up with a way to have the first time someone saw me be on my feet.

Now I'm the other way around, I want prospective lovers to see me in my chair first. Learned that if they can't get past that, it's not gonna work.

I'm meeting much nicer people. And I'm actually doing better at meeting people at parties.

Crazy how being comfortable with a mobility device is more appealing than leaning on a cane with a pained expression on your face. 😲

It is specifically reductionist and true almost always, so I don't consider that demeaning. Everyone wants to think they are more complex or considering but most innate decisions just aren't. People just are delusional and not introspective at all.

She sounds like a keeper tbh

I'm kind of in between you two… I find people attractive when they appear to be comfortable in their own skin. If that's in a hoodie and ripped jeans and combat boots, hell yeah. If she's a "girly girl" and you can tell she just really genuinely enjoys dolling up and having everything look on point, also hell yeah.

You two sound like a couple of fuckin maniacs, thanks for taking each other off the market for the rest of us!

We are not normal, and don't strive to be it either. We also don't think any of us could find another partner, so we will most likely be off the market forever. You are welcome.

I can't imagine why you'd have trouble landing a quality relationship with that shining personality

That sounds so memorable. I'd rather have that than any "perfect" date.

Thanks. It was a really awesome trip, and we just got really close really early on, and we just knew at point, that we liked each other a lot. And we have some really funny and great memories from 6 days in the "wilderness".

Unlike you, the smartest of the intellectuals.

I had an ex at one time who would get mad that I didn't check out other women.

Like, she would assume I was doing it, but then when she realized I wasn't it would turn into a fight about how I'm not and every guy does.

When I'm in a relationship I really don't have eyes for anyone else. The need to find someone just kinda turns off.

She would also get mad and start a fight whenever I said she looked good without makeup, because I was a liar.

After that relationship, self confidence became a huge checkbox I reviewed before entering any possible relationship.

It could be an “empowerment” issue.

Dresses and fancy preparation are empowering. They show that this person manages their life well and is successful. That of course all sounds positive. Only problem is, to someone struggling with that issue, it can be intimidating.

I struggle to find a good way to express this, but guys like myself since school have grappled with a perception that women “have more social power than them”. Even if the guy isn’t a total loser with a rented home that consists of a TV and a pillow, girls are viewed as a pedestal-standing respected social icon by comparison. That’s definitely not universally actually true, but under young hormones it seems that way.

Hence why pajamas, glasses, or to extend further: VTuber streamers that joke about failing basic life skills, or not showering that week, are often a successful endeavor. They show someone more humanized, disempowered and flawed. Question is whether a woman is okay with accepting a bit of that debasement to put someone at ease.

I’ve felt the same way about women bending over.

Obviously, peering at someone’s ass can lean towards creepy or voyeuristic. Any woman knows this - many changed over to squatting to pick things up even when alone. So, if she’s okay with a full bend, even if the guy barely even looks, it’s a separate “trust kink” - that she knows he’s there and doesn’t anticipate his mind objectifying her that way.

I hate makeup.... i have told my wife for over a decade that I dont care for it and it looks worse in my opinion. She has mostly stopped wearing it or will do a small amount for big parties and thats it. She tells me to this day she doesnt believe me though and all I can say is that's super sad.

Sounds like something Jess in The New Girl would do.

It doesn't have to feel like a debasement to her - depends on the woman. And yep, appearing approachable can be a winning strategy.

Agreed.

My wife has never worn makeup and she is, in my eyes, the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on, flaws especially.

My wife will scold me for not looking. I love her for that.