"Florida Man commands people sell their possessions and follow him into the hills swamps"

"Florida Man puts mud into blind person's eyes."

"Florida Man Found in giant box with animals from the zoo after surviving the huricane. 40 days at sea."

Florida man offers his daughters to angry mob to protect his buddy

Florida man claims wife turned into (bath) salts

Florida man tells his daughter’s fiancé to collect a hundred foreskins before they can get married.

Winner so far imo!

Florida man turned pastor eaten by whale

“Second Florida man brought 200 instead.”

Florida Man tell people to throw babies in Nile.

Florida Man abducts two of every animal and shoves them in his homemade boat.

"Florida man chops up his mistress after she's raped to death and mails the pieces to his friends"

FLORIDA MAN OVERDOSES ON ERGOT; CLAIMS TO SEE ZOMBIE GOD

Florida Man kicked out of public garden after stealing apples from a protected tree.

Tells police his wife convinced him to do it after she had "taken bad advice from a snake".

I think it would be more correct to say Florida man tuned pastor after being eaten by whale.

Florida man claims wife is sister to entrap thirsty, high-ranking official. At least twice.

“Alabama man saved from Florida man’s entrapment because he couldn’t get it up.”

Florida Man Curses Fig Tree for Refusing to Bear Fruit Out of Season

Florida man breaks quarantine to host gathering of people suffering from highly contagious disease.

Well yeah, makes perfect sense

First read this as “shaves them” and didn’t remember that from the original story.

Florida man lives in whale

Florida man distributes bootleg wine to crowd.

Florida man puts God in a headlock; demands blessing.

Florida man turns water into wine… in prison. With ketchup packets.

Florida man splits a lake in two with a stick and guides tourists through it

Probably one of these

And that's how we know that she WASN'T Alabama Man's sister!

Florida in whale

Florida Man says he is a ghost, and God.

I find this really triggering. This is cultural appropriation of the worst kind.

I think you might need to explain.

Are you upset that I’m mocking the Bible?

Florida man genuinely did nothing wrong but the world seems to detest him; friends convinced that it's his own fault

No, no. You are appropriating Florida man lore.

I betcha wouldn't go doing Minnesota Nice jokes around.

BTW, I don't need to explain myself. I might be kind enough to do it, but I am under no obligation.

Oh, and I only answer to god. (lower case g, in case this needs explaining too).

I rarely hear of snakes giving good advice.

Florida Man denies claiming he's a ghost and a god but expects you to say it

it kinda makes too much sense

Florida man claims bush talked to him after setting fire to it

Florida man pranks friends by pretending to be dead for 3 days.

The story of Lot is definitely set in Florida.

Before bedtime, Florida Men both young and old and from every part of Sodom surrounded Lot’s house. They called to Lot, “Where are the two men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so we can have sexual relations with them.”

Also

One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old. Everywhere on the earth Florida Women and Florida Men marry, but there are no Florida Men around here for us to marry. Let’s get our father drunk and have sexual relations with him. We can use him to have children and continue our family.”

Wow, this triggered a long buried memory aboit Pyrion Flax discussing the bear story on the podcast. It sounded like a fever dream.

Florida Man has rib stolen, claims it turned into another person

Florida Manwhale

Florida man orchestrates subordinate's death so he can marry the widow

florida whale eats man-turned-pastor

Florida man caught hoarding animals in large boat

Whale mans Florida

Florida woman cuts off foreskin of child, rubs it in Florida Man's feet.

Manwell? There's a client for you!

WTF? I don't recall that one.

Florida man harasses bitcoin traders at prosperity gospel church, sentenced to death

Aactually, there's a kind of shrub on there hills that tends to set itself aflame.

Govt. made a deal with the church: 300 years dead Florida priest is also god.