I think option A is the only viable one here! B and C fuck up the crust-to-centre ratio

If you have a big group, just buy more pizza. That said, I do want to try eating a pizza spiral now

or a big party size square one, cutting a circle into squares is evil

but even then, some people get crust and others don't. I guessss that might suit some people's preferences, but I feel like you'd end up left with most of the crust pieces

Heavily contingent on pizza style.

Tavern style pizza with its thin crispy crust is made for square slicing. Ratio issue really doesn't exist for it.

Why cut if being alone? Less cutting, more biting!

I'll give it a pass https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squaring_the_circle

Yup! Those corner pieces are surprisingly good.

That said, I do want to try eating a pizza spiral now

You start by eating crust only

Well in the illustration the spiral is thick enough that you do get a decent amount of core along with the crust! I'll take it

If your friends are leaving the crust get out of there and go find new friends!

ꞩ

I do want to try eating a pizza spiral now

You're an adult. Do what you want.

But I'm invested now. Can you try it and report back?

Lmao if I do it, I'll report back 😎

The crust to center ratio is already fucked by the size of pizza. Crust goes as r while center goes as r^2.

What about rounding the square?

Bro is eating a snek

Yeah the square cut seems like a bad idea to me. Not the worst thing but why not just cut the pieces into smaller wedges if you're trying to make sure more people get a chance at a fair share of food?

Just throw it into a blender.

Yep although you can preserve the ratio by keeping the pizza the same size and increasing the number of slices.

B offends me every time. It’s a round pie, make slices. If it’s a square pizza do squares.

Where’s the handle on a square piece of pizza? That edge of crust is what you hold on to in order to minimize mess.

The Ito's Pizza special

It's good if you want more crust.

4π > 2π

Eating that cut on deep dish or a stuffed pizza would be an adventure

It's six feet of pizza. For you. Not them!

Option D, fold the pizza like a giant taco so you don't have to clean a knife

You don't cut when it's for you. You fold it and eat a pizza sandwich.

What if we invented something you could use to hold on food without getting your hands dirty? Like, something akin to a pitchfork but smaller, that you can stab your food with to bring it to your mouth?

Follow the Mallarded road.

✨ calzone ✨

What a thrill...

The bigger problem for me is that it assumes you're going to eat the whole pizza, and I could never manage that myself. Halfway through and you're left with the middle of the pizza.

Low cal calzone zone.

No no the spiral is best. You start in the middle though.

Slide the pizza to the edge of the plate to nibble at.

B is completely wrong and if someone cut a pizza like that at a party I think they would be exiled.

If you want to cut a pizza like that cut one set of parallel lines and then cut in half, otherwise there will be crustless bits that are impossible to pick up without making a mess.

And if it's Domino's, then they pretend to cut it so that you have to go find a knife to finish the job because it sure looked sliced before I freaking sat down, David!

Nah mate. If it's just you, you fold that bastard up taco style.

There’s a pizza bar near me that makes a pizza sliced this way. It’s a cracker crust style. I get all the outer pieces that have some crunch. My wife gets the crustless inner pieces. I think her way is blasphemous, but it’s mutually beneficial.

For thin crust I guess it's just a party of one here.

Edit: apparently I'm the only one really pro square cuts. It's just better for crustless/minimal crust styles

It's traditional where I'm from to cut thin crust pizzas (like the traditional local style) that way. Tbh I've grown to really love it even if I do appreciate a hand tossed style often as well

Shit, I need to try the third option, I think my wife will have to eat out

Now I want an equal pizza theorem that mathematically shows a simple cutting method that guarantees equal pizza for everyone, depending on number of pieces. E.g. an inner circle that is halved plus an outer circle in quarters for six people, but ((2r)²-r²)/4 != r²/2, r being the inner circle.

Well, you could always cut ever thinner regular pizza slices, but that's trivial.

Lucky! My wife won't do that.

I'm from a place where our regional pizza is cut into little squares, and it's not as difficult or messy as you're making it out to be

Dude the crustless slices are the best part about cutting a pizza this way!

Haha when its cut like that I refuse to eat the crust less. Its so mushy and no balance between toppings and crust. How do you hold it!!

Wherever you're getting your pizza from, you need to stop, because I've literally never had an issue with floppy pizza and toppings sliding off. You're clearly eating undercooked pizza.

With darkness and silence through the night