nice try

I will probably get downvoted for this but anyway; I cheated half my university years, 2 of the 4 years. This was in the Coronapandemic.

What contributed to my decision back then;

• Professors that did not want to actually teach.
• Online classes that were a disaster.
• Was not allows to ask questions in online classes but only in physical ones.. But there were no physical classes at that point.

I'm pretty sure I've processed all of my secrets.

There's somebody out there somewhere that knows just about everything I've ever done.

That being said, there are some things I don't tell just anyone.

You first. 👀

I tell people I don't use social media at all but I'm actually on the Fediverse.

Always acted like I never had Reddit when anybody asked. I did. I was involved with NSFL subs. (Makemycoffin RIP)

I draw porn sometimes. No one I know will ever see it and those who do won't ever know I did it

University teachers are a joke and a disgrace to the pedagogic community. Kuddos to you for making it through uni!

gasps

I stole so much candy from a candy factory when I was about twelve that I had candy for a whole year. 🍬

As a kid I was too afraid to go down the stairs to the bathroom at night, so I peed in the humidifier instead

😭🤣

I do not know you.

I caused ~$100k damage to my middle school.


I am going to fuzz some of the details for obvious reasons, but when I was in 8th grade, I was dealing with a chaotic home life and had just moved for the 3rd time in 8 years across the country. I hated the school and didn't really have friends so developed some destructive habits.


Our physical education teacher was a lazy, creepy, moron who would force us to run laps for an hour which let him sit in his office. He'd berate kids and give them mean racist nicknames and if you refused he would give you an F for your midpoint report which meant you couldn't participate in any other sport or extracurricular activity the school sponsored. The class was half the grade at a time so it was over a hundred kids including the disabled kids and sometimes would just leave us unsupervised for an hour. At one point he crudely encouraged on two kids with downs syndrome make out, which they did while he watched and laughed and made fun of them. Just an evil spiteful man.


So before and after class we had 15 minutes to get ready so I would go around the locker room and find anything that would fit in a toilet and flush it. Towels, clothes, backpacks, food, pencils, paper - all of it in the toilet. They had insane flush power so would violently suck it all down and I thought it was just funny. I did it off and on for a month.


One day we heard gym was cancelled and then the school was cancelled the next day because of a facilities issue. Apparently the gym flooded pretty badly. We had to start having gym outside. Then after a couple weeks we had a school wide assembly and the superintendent was there and explained that a group of people had been flushing stuff down the toilet and they had to do a massive, emergency plumbing project that cost them $100k+. They were super mad and told us they already knew almost everyone who did it but if you come forward you won't get expelled. Yeah, sure.


Anyway, I had no friends and no one knew I was doing it so I just didn't say anything and got away with it. Also, a few years later the gym teacher was fired allegedly for some sexual misconduct issue.

I've told people that I hated my father since I was like toddler. Nobody ever believed me. They just lecture me that I don't really mean that.

Not really a secret I guess, but it's just something that people refuse to believe because I guess it goes against their 'family is always love' nonsense.

Also I did a lot of vandalism when I was a pre-teen. not really a secret either, but folks who find this out about me get really offended and upset, i think because they think I'm some uptight straight-laced person, mostly because I don't drink or do drugs for awhile now. I did do a lot of booze and drugs from 16-20 though.

Same, actually.

That's why the internet is great tbh

unless you're branding your posts here with your real name and trying to monetize it, you're not really using social media in the way most folks mean it in 2026.

social media is when it's tied to your real life identity and your body, it's not anonymous posting on forums or message boards, which lemmy is more in the vein of.

I don't think anyone would regard my posts on forums and old.reddit.com as social media. if i had used reddit as a promotional tool for like my instagram business or as part of a personal brand I'm proving, yeah that would be very different.

IME real social media people are those who have basically internalized the concept of self branding and see their lives as entirely performative for their audience, whether that be internet strangers or their real life friend group.

“If the university won’t take itself seriously, I won’t take it seriously either.” Sounds fair to me.

I thought that was the number one rule of reddit? Everyone was acting like they didn't know what it was.

I voted for the right wing party once.

In my defense I had just turned 18 and had no idea what I was doing.

Porn or just pictures of dicks?

I'm the reason the pump don't work.

Deleted by moderator.

You can't trick me Kurtagag, I know you're CIA!!

Awfully quiet for someone named Yappy...

Okay okay. The only thing I truly hide from some people is the fact that I enjoy a little spliff here and there (more here than there tbh 🙃). I don't need to give some older family members aneurysms, lol.

What’s a reddit?

Why are the dicks always circumcised and the houses all colonials?

Robert California

My stance has always been that It's only cheating if you didn't learn. If you can apply what you were supposed to learn then you were just using your resources wisely.

It's kind of like updog.

I'm pretty sure that's illegal in 49 states, so I hope you were in Montana at the time.

Is that similar to a butfor?

B=======================D

This is anti-social media, it doesn't count.

WHAT? How could you??!!

This has honestly become a pet peeve of mine. At this point anything that has an internet connection is being called social media.

I quit paying taxes when trump was elected. No representation? Cool. You’re not getting a fucking dime from me.

Holy shit. Kids, man O.O

I would keep this with me to the grave, wtf

that's just art. brings a tear to my eye

With the poop knife? This can't be real.

I am the zodiac killer. The names Ted

Nice try

I will never tell anyone in real life that I know a secret that I will never tell anyone in real life.

Actual porn, it's actually really good for practicing anatomy and poses

Nice try, American agency!

You wanna see my porn?

Thinking the same lol

My sibling in sin, you are using this medium to socialise.

Damn, I really want to know what they said.