"one thread per request" , "interpreter"

(Looks confusingly) That's JS and Python as well

PS: being obtuse on purpose, but PHP lends itself well to typical requirements of web hosting and you can always call out to a diff process if needed

jQuery still won't die eh?

As much as I hate php, JavaScript is an equal pile of shit when it comes to languages.

Npm/yarn are absolute horseshit.

See? Node is just as bad as Python now.

I did not have any sexual relation with this woman!

PHP is dead. Learn PHP.

Fair, but a lot of sites don't need anything more complex than an internet forum, often less than even that.

Please don't pretend to misunderstand. I was quite clear everyone can use what they want.

You're not funny. Just tiring.

Learn asp.net? Bro, are you still running edge in IE mode in the 20's?

Ruby on rails? That was a recommendation in like 06. /sardonic

I am not defending php, but it can serve a purpose. Surprised they didn't mention perl.

Also surpised they are comparing PHP to JS. That's comparing cattle farming to cooking a burger.

.Net has been chugging along quite nicely for decades now.

Asp.net is a bit old hat these days, but Blazor is pretty cool, though personally I don't know many people that use it. .Net is very much good now though.

And COBAL COBOL just won't die.

You realize that the language evolved over the years and it's not even close to the same language it was 15 years ago?

The fact that you also mix frameworks and languages also tells me that you have no idea what you're talking about

Time traveler: Moves a chair

The resulting timeline: PHP is dead for good. However, after some vibe coding caused massive errors in the ADSF framework (that replaced PHP), people are running to vibecode a fix, only to that cause another issue.

4 is the key. Literally.

"well...it's too late now"

Why is that written on an Office Space screenshot? That doesn't make any sense. It's not even close to anything said in that scene.

Why do people insist on shoving memes into everything? Did they not think their post was good enough on its own?

Oh my gosh if I could time travel and prevent generative AI from happening I would do it so fast. Although I do want to keep the academic and medical usage domains of AI. 🤔 HMM.

Perl + Mason

Memes are funny because its a reference to a thing we both know and thus an inside joke elevated by that fact.

Modern ones are either that, or kind of just "heres a funny picture with text thats kind of funny next to this picture"

Surprised they didn't mention perl.

That's because Perl pre-dates PHP and was one of the languages that inspired it. You'd have to rewrite the whole meme.

The available libraries are the ONLY excuse for Python.

When you need tools more sophisticated (and labor intense) than your tool to make your tool functional, it's time to re-examine your choice of toolchain.

Just stand up a VM to do it in, so you don't corrupt anything else you made in python that you also want to run on the same box, amirite?

PHP for the GOAT

I learned basic programming in BASIC in the 80s. Back then when you needed more speed, you grafted in assembly calls, and the speed difference was dramatic.

Straight Python feels as slow as BASIC - it's got nifty speedy library calls to stuff written in other languages, but if you need something that's not available in a library, now you're writing a library function for Python, in another language, and why not just write the whole thing in that other language and ditch the heavy toolchain?

While the language has improved over the years, I've personally never seen a PHP codebase that made me happy.

Agreed, they should hit a goto 10 line. /being silly

Your point is quite valid.

Anecdotally yes, web development is the part of IT where I saw more women than elsewhere. It's also paid less, heavily disrespected and more prone to burnout, the closer you are to the front end. I don't know if it's a correlation or causation (existing social hierarchies etc) thing.

How does the picture make it funnier here?

I don't think I'll ever understand the affinity for it. It's the Internet equivalent of that annoying kid in middle school who couldn't have a conversation without quoting The Simpsons or South Park lol

This is (also) about C++.

Damn I can’t believe I missed that.

I saw the eMuhdra one but missed this. Gotta start my rss feed project again and start getting news.

I was told in school that Java applets were the future and they made us take a class that focused heavily on them. I did make a few games in applets, but they were always janky and I am glad they are dead.

It better not. I've invested all my money in it.

I blame Microsoft for that

Would rust have prevented this? 🤣

With lots of $

As backend code, yes. As a web (web, not api. As an api platform they're great) platform... No.
Asp.net and mvc were imo a disaster, silverlight was... Oof.
Then there is maui which could have done it using blazor but just... Didnt.
... And then there is blazor itself.
Though blazor is imo the best of all the web platforms they had, and i like it, it still has very rough edges and is not gonna replace javascript any time soon.
Hell, microsoft cant even decently support their own web ui platform ( fluentui ) because their backbone ( webcomponents ) is completely broke ( or did v3 FINALLY release? ). There are other blazor frameworks but they all seem to not take full advantage of blazor and its disgusting.

COBOL*

And if everything had moved to one of those, almost surely there would also be similar impacts in a similar cve to point at to say "we should be using something else!"

I have good news, all frontend php has been replaced with angular by now.

Stupid phone

Need to go back and convince Alan Turing to change his test.

Applets were killed by Flash, which then became obsolete.

Applets were killed before that due to repeated severe security issues and Sun fucking around and not making them good in my recollection. Flash was just easiest applets with no Java and died for much of the same reason a decade later.

I had to remove the applet-based server architecture when moving java 11->17.

The authors thought that it would be the right decision to accept code from users as applets

That's both hilarious and scary. Scarlarious, if you will.

Now comes the scariest part. We removed this in early 2024

Yeah, Python as a language is a mess IMO. We used it for making a electrical simulator and the language is...bad. The variable scoping, lack of explicit variable declaration, backwards comprehension syntax, the VERY CONFUSING object orientation design, that classes aren't serializable by default, package story and deployment... It really has very little going for it, and combine all that with the awful performance characteristics it's just...no.

Today I'm "Rust if it fits, if not Rust then C#". We re-wrote the simulator in C# and performance was 70x better and the code got shorter, the deployment was hell of a lot easier since we went AOT and it just builds a native binary for the target platform. No virtual environment crap.

Python is very opinionated. I like it (other than the stupid ternary operator) but I can very much see why others don't. (At the same time I will fight for it. It's like the GNOME of programming languages.)

I notice the absolute absence of "index.html"

Yeah, the fact that so much of the language is conventions as well doesn't help. The type hinting is fairly poor as well, but then again type hinting is basically admitting that dynamic typing is a mistake (which it is).