So, that's what the '70s was like!

Unless you were a visible minority

Well, this person was presumably Japanese

And didn’t need a visa as a tourist, so less scrutiny.

handwritten maps with barbecue sauce stains still on em goddamn

Proof of good in this world.

When I entered the US to spend a year there as a foreign exchange student, the border official treated me like I'm a violent criminal and he had to find out which crime I'll commit.
I also had to fill out a form promising I wasn't a member of the German Nazi party during WW2.
This was in 2000 and I was 16 at the time.
But maybe, if I had checked "yes", I would have been hired to lead NASA.

It's a very smart answer to flatter your hosts' culinary speciality.

I read this interview with the chef of the French Presidents' residence once.

In that he told about the first visit from German Chancellor Angela Merkel. After the dinner she asked for the chef to come up, complimented him and asked Chirac if he could spare his chef for a masterclass to the German chefs in residence.

I then knew what a brilliant diplomat Merkel was.

One time I told the customs official that I was going there to hookup with someone I met online as my reason. Response was have fun, no follow up questions. I was ready to have to explain the whole thing, but nope, just sex.

Well don't leave us hanging. Did you support the nazi party during WW2?

Looks like he's too embarrassed by his support of the nazi party during WWII to reply.

I visited a couple of years ago and since I'm the correct shade of mayo, I wasn't given any shit, but the employees all looked hella tired of the workload. I imagine they were ready to snap the moment someone plays a smartass or something. It was noisy and busy. Of course it was also Friday or Saturday evening at JFK. I imagine if they had more workers to handle the load, there'd be fewer bad experiences. Not that the racists would stop racisting, but more that there might be plenty who aren't racist at all but will still give people shit just because they're overworked.

Case closed gentlemen, good work

This kind of border agent is why I won't be travelling to the US anytime soon. If this person was that bad in 2000, imagine what they're like with the power to send you to a concentration camp if you look at them the wrong way.

"...it was the same smile I saw just before they put the bag over my head."

She had to put up with Putin's dogs. While speaking Russian.

She's afraid of dogs.

I have suspicions that’s not a recent story.

similar anecdote, was stopped by cops near Texas-mexico border. One was asking ne questions while the other one was circling the car. I'm Spanish but was living in England at the time. so he asked me "do you prefer Spain or England?" I replied with "Texas",

He replied with an instant "Ye haw", told my reply to his companion, who also gave his ye haw and let us go.

Similar story getting pulled by a cop for speeding once. I'm gay, but used she/her when I told him, because I'm not a complete fucking moron.

I was speeding, it was like 3am, this is after my state's hilarious excuse for a lockdown, so all the businesses are closed at night now, and they will pull you any time they catch someone driving at night.

Officer: where ya headed this time of night?

Me: glances at the lube and condoms laying on the passenger seat "hookup with a chick I met online"

Officer: Fuck yeah. Drive safe, buddy.

And he fucking walked away. No other questions, did not ask to see my license, insurance, nothing. Just "go get you some, boy!" And that was it. Had I admitted it was a guy instead? I highly doubt the reaction would have been the same

Yeah, for whatever her faults, she was a pro.

Eh, more like proof that there are (or were) some reasonable people working in border control.

Not harassing people doesn't make you good, it just makes you decent. This kind of behavior should be the low bar, not the high bar.

Yeah, but what you supposed to do if you're visiting England?

Only good thing about Texas. Bbq unites us all.

Clammy handshakes and avoiding difficult topics.

The fact she handled it underscores my point.

Little did you know, if you said yes, they would have given you a job in the government.

Bring some hot sauce and slip it in when no one is looking.

My response is always "white women". Really tests who has a good sense of humor.

Yee haw.

US border agents aren't discriminating when it comes to being dicks though. Citizens get treated like shit too.

I'm American, when I first entered Canada the border guard was stunningly handsome and super nice.

On the way back the American dude was an absolute dick, and I'm a citizen so I can only imagine what a foreigner may face.

scoffs in Brazilian bbq

Go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint and wait for this all to blow over

Rule #1: be attractive and Canadian

Now here is someone who understand how important it is for us to go the Winchester.

I've had that same experience a dozen times. I don't remember if they were all 'stunningly handsome', but they were all very friendly and professional.

JFK, Miami, and a few other international airports have long been on the avoid list for frequent business travelers due to their terrible immigration/passport control experiences.

Well you can't just lead with that and not tell us the whole thing!

I similarly was meeting somebody (though a girl in my case). The only thing the border guy questioned regarding that was her age - which, fair enough and she was a year or two older than me - and then that was it.

I'm guessing that cross-border seekers of love aren't exactly uncommon since the Internet has been a thing.

Brazilian bbq absolutely fucks but nobody does BBQ like America does BBQ

Lol. Oddly enough, I'm totally that guy. Also, the sauce I usually keep around is what most would say is way, way, too hot.

Ask where to get a cheeky Nandos, wa-HEY!

Now let's go get us a scalp.

And they rode off into the sunset, herd of cattle ahead of them, chowing down beans and brisket.

Eh, it's not just BBQ tho. Houston is America's most international city and you can find restaurants serving cuisines from around the world all fighting tooth and nail to prove thselves against the competition. The Cajun, Tex-Mex, and Southwest American food is amazing. Some of the best Greek, Thai, and Indian I've ever tried, the only fancy Irish pub I've ever tried (try the Guiness Stew at McGonigals Mucky Duck), not to mention almost everything else from late-night Italian delivery to a literal Russian bar to an Ethiopian eatery. Want Phó, a street taco, sushi, and a slice of pizza after watching the game at a sports bar? They're all just minutes away and they're all great!

That is one of the things that irks me so much about the lower 48... The farther south you go, the better the food gets, but the worse off people are...

I was in El Paso for a wedding last year and even a simple road-side BBQ chain was lightyears better than a fancy steakhouse in New England.

As a kid, when I first entered at the Sweden, I didn’t notice any border. It was just a little bridge between Tornio and Haparanda.

Yeah Roooooyyyyyyyyy!

Compliment the endurance of their lettuces

Try asking in german