When was Windows 11, Lineage/Android, MacOS or a fucking TI calculator a proper Linux distro

What would Islam be? Gnu Herd?

Edit: I made the joke in a different comment but Islam would be Solaris and Wahhabism would be post oracle Solaris.

That would imply Judaism copied Zoroastrianism's homework. Since they came around the same time, it would be something else. Zoroastrianism should be AmigaOS. Judaism should be Unix. Would islam be Solaris? Would Wahhabism be Solaris post oracle?

This just makes me feel like a heretic because it doesn't line up

That's part of the joke.

That's my exact thought process. I put LDS at Android because they do identify as Christian, but we are really stretching the definition of what technically counts as Christian.

Honestly I don't know as much as I ought to about UU, but I didn't think that they generally identify as Christian.

Contemporary Gnostics would be Hanna Montana Linux.

MacOS is Hillsong.

I can see that.

Also, many of these are not Christian, and many of these are not Linux.

I'm aware.

Sounds about right to me.

Well, I am Anglican...

I really thought more people in this group would get that joke.

Android is very technically Linux. So it can't be Islam.

Islam is still an Abrahamic religion, but doesn't recognize Jesus as more than a prophet. So, NetBSD.

What's your distro and I'll reassign you.

Then you aren't my main target audience.

Lineage/Android

Only the kernel is called Linux. The userspace is completely different from GNU/Linux but the actual software named Linux is being used. Alpine Linux isn't GNU/Linux either.

The motorcycle chose you?

I like reading the comments from people that got the joke.

Where would you put Pop!_OS?

Also, there’s a wide spectrum of Lutherans and they often don’t get along.

Pop_OS! would be United Churches of Christ.
Derived from Ubuntu, and generally accepted as reliable and easy for newbies.

Right. FreeBSD having a devil logo was really just a coincidental bonus.

Lol it's mostly a joke, no worries. I use OpenSUSE but got assigned Debian, which is completely fine

Linux Distro

Windows 11, macOS, and FreeBSD on the list

Wat

Think about it a little more....

A prosperity gospel church is still a church, unless you're referring to WSL as the equivalent of "Linux".

contemporary gnostics would accuse orthodox linuxians of using hannah montana linux, whilst they recognize her as the demiurge, the accidental creation of the fallen aeon of wisdom miley cyrus, who herself eminated from the ineffable monad billy ray cyrus and was redeemed back into the glory of the pleroma like a wrecking ball by the logos linus torvalds christos amen

OH yeah. Fucking christians. Get ALL THE WAY fucked with your awful abusive religion.

Ok.

I do not consider those churches to be Christian. Their theology is significantly removed from orthoxy that it's unrecognizable.

But even still, as with WSL, you can find some Christianity in there if you work really hard to find it.

Amen.

To be fair Judaism did for the most part copy Zoroastrianisms homework

If you use Slack then you are probably a person that finds benefit in self-inflicted struggles. You seriously might find benefit and meaning in the Orthodox Church.

I guess I fall between Arch and openSUSE (so rolling release), that is what you get when you are born in a small country, all the way in the back waters, you make things work in anyway you can.

Backwater folk making things work the best they can.

I think that's a pretty good description of non-denom/Baptist churches. User checks out!

As a catholic I must agree with the chart

Happy Lent.

You know that Christianity is quite a broad religion right? Most Christians are pretty reasonable people.

And no, I'm not a Christian.

I guess. But it feels very different from Judaism as best as I can tell. And Zoroastrianism is still seperate from the big 3 monotheistic religions.

I love this. Thank you for writing it.

Is CachyOS Unitarian Universalist? Or watching church on TV on Sunday morning?

I looked up Lineage and see it’s also an Android variant. What’s the Pentecostal logo?

A bit more than a prophet as he did bring a book/message but pretty much this. Same rank (if you can call it that) as Abraham, Moses and Mohammad.

Running Fedora, was raised Presbyterian. 🤯

It's immutable.

Your distro chose you.

Pentecostal is KaOS.

A built-from-scratch Linux that doesn't rely on any of the other branches and just does is own kinda specific thing. (You can probably suggest something better. I was kinda running out of ideas for that one.)

Also OP, ChromeOS is moving from Gentoo to android. What does that make it now?

Funnily enough, this leads to more android x86 development.

We'll have to wait until AluminumOS is actually released to place it on the chart.

My guess is that it becomes First Baptist in Dallas.

It's a classic!

I think NixOS might be Unitarian Universalist. Dreamed up in a doctoral thesis, seems neat, half a dozen ways to do anything (none of which are truly wrong), access to all the packages in the world, terrible documentation.

Too on the nose.