I already have whatsapp installed, which keeps me connected. Plus delta chat is really helpful.

I don't know what xmpp is or how it works.

hope this helps

The best place to start is https://joinjabber.org/ (Jabber is another name for XMPP).

The apps for Android are free on F-Droid.

hm, i might use that as the explainer link for xmpp in my contact info page instead of the one i posted because it's really good

Thanks. That's great for a starter.

AFAIK. All major clients for XMPP is open source and gratis.

Two good options for Android is Conversations and Snikket. Both are available on F-Droid and Google Play Store. Conversations on GPS is a donationware version though.

On iOS you have Snikket and Monal.

On the desktop you have Gajim. I think it's available for Linux, Windows and Mac OS.

You also need an account. Conversations offers accounts for free over at https://account.conversations.im/. There's probably a lot more services as well.

Install monocles. Its easy to set up a new account and start using it right away. You can find it on f-droid but I think it's on play store too.