So torture?

That's what we need, another reason to look down on short people.

I'm so sorry...

Optional being a critical component you just ignored.

The American prison system is already tourtue.

Hobbling used to be a thing, where they'd chop the toes off...

Weight is usually the determining factor in any fight. And small people usually have a complex on top. So you are just making them more aggressive in the end?

But this is hobbiting

LOL, touché salesman

That was clearly written by someone who hasn't watched Casino.

Small and aggressive, like a chihuahua.

The OP includes that it’s from /r/shortguys, but it didn’t have to. Nowhere else is this fucking weird about being short.

-a dude nearly 6” shorter than average

I thought Hobbling was breaking ankles and preventing them from healing properly?

Wait, the formula for a quiet, serene life, far away from the urbanity & drama'd be... do crimes? 🤔

I'm personally quite interested in this sort of thing, especially if said Shire is outside of the US —and I'm sure I'm not alone in this. 🥴🤞🏼

That's an odd way to spell "slavery", but you're close... though that certainly is a guaranteed component in the US.

That's a different way to accomplish the same thing yes. Either way is basically the same difference that prevents your prisoner/captive/slave from running away.

So basically, the taller you are the more you can afford to embezzle. The entire NBA becomes corporate scapegoats overnight.

I'm willing to both get stinking rich and no longer be in constant pain on airplanes

What if they made you taller so you have to stoop to go through doorways?

If you're short you get shortened, if you're tall you get tallened.

Fair enough.

What do they do if you’re average?

Death.

Also height does matter but only because taller people have longer arms and can punch you from farther away

This would create shorter people with longer arms, completely upsetting the meta

You’ve won the Procrustean lottery.

I’m decently above average height for my country, but I grew up with so many really tall people around that I never felt tall. So a cheaper punishment could be to have to be the waterboy for a basketball team.

Maybe, but only for like really violent criminals.

Like someone who killed fitty men

The lack of proportionally between the arms and legs would be its own special hell

His ending was so brutal. That movie is so good.

How about free extensions for having a clean record?

Asking for a friend.

I would commit incredibly heinous crimes if doing so would make me shorter. It is not good policy to incentivise a crime wave.

I think shorter people are faster which is probably more significant.