My cheap toilet paper's attempt on my life has left my anus scarred and deformed.

Kids these days with their splinter-free toilet paper

"These Gen Z kids and their toilet paper! We wiped with leaves and birch bark, and we were thankful!"

A screenshot of a tiny portion of a Lemmy thread

Dang, you must have been rich, all we had were pinecones and sand.

Neat, my "farticles" is really starting to catch on

A luxury! We had to make do with broken glass and vinegar.

Mother fucker, is the bidet a joke to you?!

As it should be. We didn't go through all this evolution and technological development to not baby our backsides.

You can buy an effective Bidet for $30, and install it in 15 minutes. Why wouldn't you?

Oh we used to dream of having broken glass and vinegar. Would’ve been downright pleasant. All we had were three seashells.

Definitely not a brand new sentence though. Dwight says that.

Sorry

because im scared the water jet will enter my ass and come out my mouth

It's all good. I won't feel bad for not remembering a reference from a show that came out two decades ago.

Me neither, fellow kid