Link: https://www.ms.now/news/patel-fbi-wants-to-give-ufc-exclusive-contract-to-train-agents

CEO Dana White has long been an ally of President Donald Trump and his administration. Agents would be trained in hand-to-hand combat.

The FBI plans to offer the Ultimate Fighting Championship an exclusive one-year contract to train its special agents in hand-to-hand combat, according to a document released by the agency in September.

The UFC, according to the bureau, is “the sole qualified vendor” capable of providing tactical training that meets FBI standards. The justification for the contract cited the “expertise” the multibillion-dollar global media business has in mixed martial arts, striking techniques, grappling and takedowns.

The bureau said that market research determined that “no other vendor can provide comprehensive training encompassing all required skills at the necessary expertise level within the required timeframe.”

What a clown show they've become. Shame!

We have have a sycophantic boot licker! Quick! Get him some government money!

mixed martial arts, striking techniques, grappling and takedowns.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQKrmDLvijo

I had to pause a lovely Joni Mitchell song to rant at my wife about this one.

Will America's next war be fought in the Octagon?

Masculinity be porcelain

I'd suggest some Carol King to help ease those nerves

They paved paradise and put up a parking lot~

This really is the dumbest timeline

They started out that way but they became one too.

They going to demolish the Pentagon to add three more sides.

but then it wouldn’t be tesselable! clearly we need a better solution. how about we swap the two buildings’ functions and keep them?

A parking lot is fucking useful.

They paved paradise and erected a gaudy oversized monument to an achivement they didnt accomplish that serves no purpose other than giving the paving job and monument construction to a friend of their administration and then banned public access.

Wow. White must need a lot of money laundered.

Something something 56 channels of america gladiator.

welcome to cartoon usa.

mid mitch hedberg

Will it be live streamed on TrumpTV and have testosteron boosters?

I was hoping WWE would win the contract, oh well

No, it will be in a monster truck rally discretely labeled "rehabilitation".

Lol I was just thinking this again, the fights, the monster trucks and electrolytes!

*midch hedberg

You're not going to believe this, but the UFC and WWE have the same owner and trade under the stock symbol "TKO".

That would actually be a more civilized way of dealing with international conflicts than what we have on the deck right now.

well done

Crazy!

To be fair, I would absolutely dish out for a pay-for-view to see Patel take a savage beating from an MMA fighter.

I would pay to see took get the shit beat out of him by a reasonably healthy grandma

An mma fight against a pug would be over way too fast

Why not WWE?

Penrose tile shape or GTFO.

I can see this being useful for when they need to do a a heel-turn for Good-Cop-Bad-Cop interrogations.

And to think 2/3rds of Americans wanted this.

"This is a delicate negotiation and we must be careful." "No way man! Just kick him in the fucking head!".

No knees to the head of a grounded enemy combatant? What about 12 to 6 elbows?

Soccer kicks and head stomps? Pride rules?

Will they carry their registered folding chair with them at all times?

Because they admitted to their fights being staged for tax reasons*. Even the cult members wouldn't approve of the FBI being taught by what basically amounts to fight dancing stunt performers. At least I don't think so 🤷🏻

*That's to say that they admitted it to pay less tax, not that they discovered a tax loophole requiring staged matches

No Americans care enough to stop it

Here we are, with both our military and the FBI among other government agencies, being destroyed from within. Our enemies are all laughing at us.

Now, the first thing to learn is that in the real world chairs do not come apart. You must secure your chair and not let the other guy have it!

Well, shocking to learn you're not just a fake leftist but also a bigot. You said in another thread you're American so one part of this does track in one small way.

About 1/3rd wanted this.

1/3rd didn't want this, and the other 3rd couldn't give a shit, whether because they actually didn't care or they were preoccupied and couldn't.

Don't let the 1/3rd who didn't bother to vote off the hook. They're just as responsible. A reminder that neutrality sides with the victor. That 1/3rd voted for Trump through abstenence.

That's not what bigot means. Calling Americans cowards isn't bigotry, it's just fact

He's so stupid it's astounding.

That's a BIG part of why he was hired: stupid and/or deranged loyalists are much more likely to follow a capricious and despotic leader blindly than smart and sane people of equal loyalty and ideology.

Don't let the billionaires, corporations, and corrupt politicians off the hook, for they are the reason why more people DON'T vote as civics aren't taught anymore in school, Election Day isn't a national holiday, vote by mail is being actively attacked by the Trump Admin, and racist gerrymandering especially in the South mean that people have one more barrier to voting via checking if they're registered in their new political subdivision.

Any time asshats on Lemmy shame THE PEOPLE instead of THE ELITES that set this system up in the first place need to be thoroughly ramrodded.

FUCK that shit

Oh allies too

They're really not laughing too much.