ASM: Automated Salmonoid Machine

How do i deposit my weekly salmon?

In the frying pan. With some lemon pepper and garlic.

Can you check your salmon balance there too?

Look, I'm all for whimsy but let's be honest with ourselves, this is clearly a vending machine and not an ATM. It doesn't even take cash, let alone allow salmon deposits.

Fake outrage aside, this whips and I dunno who's out here buying 200 gram portions of frozen salmon after midnight, but they seem fun.

Don't tell the Japanese, they'll make one that sells Salmon wrapped in used panties!!!

Seriously, the vending machines in Japan are outrageous & abundant in both amount & variety.

Can you be 100% certain that someone doesn't consider salmon as currency? Since the automated teller machine is for giving out currency after all

Salmon to Mouth to ass!!!!

It's the finale for my fish-based-erotica-paradoy of "Requiem for a dream"...

......."Aquarium Full of Creams"

Who's your spawnsor for publishing?

Uh, what do you think S$ means? Clearly, it is Salmon-Dollars.

I agree, this isn't an ATM. It's an automated machine, but it doesn't provide any of the same services as a bank teller. It should instead be called an AFM (automated fishmonger machine).

If this is real I need one near me

There had to be least one (1) bear involved in the creation of this machine.

There are real? This was a plot point on The Great North and I thought it was something they made up, like cold weather and Alanis Morrisette.

AFM - Automatic fish monger

FTM - Fish Transaction Machine

I mean this with all sincerity that I wish I had one of these near me. Salmon is so damn good.

salmon deposits.

I just want to be very very clear that if you say this phrase out loud, you MUST. ARTICULATE. CAREFULLY.

It's real. Seen them, but never felt compelled to use one. There was one outside a small convenience store near where I live. I haven't seen any for years though.

Pangolin Parblushers

Until they swap salmon out with tuna, then it'd be correct

I think that's a pretty dated trope, since the 00s there's way less.

Is the omega 3 really that far from the protein?

Yes but the sustainable is closer to the head

My cat would totally accept it as payment.

It still holds up. I have a homie in Tokyo who's nickname is Vend, btw

Edit: not sure if the link takes you to the "Popularity in Japan" section for everyone, so here's the unedited text copied directly:

"Vending machines are a common sight in Japan, and are considerably popular. There are more than 5.5 million machines installed throughout the nation, and Japan holds the highest ratio of machines per person for any country with one machine for every twenty-three people."

I guess I still see more vending machines in Japan than anywhere else, but there's maybe a tenth of the number there were 10-15 years ago.

This is true, and the niche ones are like the coin pressing machines in the US.. but they can still be found.

I've never been to Singapore, but I think vending machines should be common enough there that they wouldn't mistranslate it as ATM.

Checking: fish

Savings: fish

NORWEGIAN SALMON ASS TO MOUTH

ESPRESSO NUT TO BUTT, no no I meant nut bean two girls and one cup! Wait no Taylor Farms to toilet table--by the restroom!

god I love the pacific NW

Bass to Trout

mistranslate

Americans when other dialects of English are allowed to do their own thing

Wetrium Scream?

I'm confused, since neither Singapore nor Norway are in the Pac NW

since only the atlantic salmon can be farmed, most salmonid species cant be farmed, they have to be caught in the wild.

This is in the city of Singapore, British Columbia, Canada.

You probably never heard of it because it didn't exists.

Not closer than the butt, that's for sure.

Is it true they pay on a fixed scale?

thats right!

but the salmon are!

If this is your thumb, OP, my wife has the same thumb as you.

It’s not! But say hi to your wife and her thumb!

👍👋😊

That way, AFM machine isn't redundant. I like the way you think. This'll give pedants years of the same shit to talk about.

At least it's not a phish

Or miso with a bit of ginger

Does it work in reverse too: insert salmon, get cash?