🫂

Im so sorry for the pain you had to silently carry for years

But something Ill add is The thing I find fucked up is that we have stories like yours happening agaim and again and again and they keep on and keep on and keep om happenimg ....and yet....humanity hasnt dont a darned thing to permanently change this.

We will have stories just like yours here once again in 20 years whehn someone askes this same question to the next generation sadly....

Itll never end until humanity ensures that it ends.

Sorry once again 🫂

I actually have an important story to add. Its not my story but it is relevant and youll see why...

A few months after I graduated high school it came out that ome of the teachers at that high school had actually been secretly abusing a girl that used to attend there for years and years. I think that she only reported it only because she felt that now she was safe and free to do so after she graduated ( she never actually publicly said that this was her reasom to come forward now but it made sense that she reported it a few months after she graduated but didnt report it before cause what was stopping her all those years? Im guessing The dictatorial asshole who could ruin her school life is what Im guessing stopped her. That was how I saw the situation)

A disgustingly large number of the people who were commenting on the news story's comment section said something along the lines: 'Oh! MayBe sHe LikEd It ThatS whY it ToOk hEr So lonG to rEpOrt IT' .... 😐....🤢🤮

The best part was that whne the school's administrators and principal were asked what would be done to ensure such a thing never repeats they all gave such generic bullshit answers lioe 'it was a ome time thing' , 'it wont happen again cause it just wont' , or some corporate bullshit amswer along the lines of : 'we will conduct an internal investigation and see what we can do to emsure it never happens again. Our previous internal investigation was thorough ...and we found that we did nothing wrong😋👍🏻'

We have sad stories like this coming out again and again and again (heck yoy can even hit up r/NotADragQueen on reddit for yet even more stories like these) and humanity seems reluctant to make any permanent changes to ensure that sad stories like this are made practically impossible ever again.

Also Im sorry for your pain once again 🫂

🫂 Sorry fror your pain 🫂

Yes. (I am a woman and pretty old so I guess it goes without saying but yes.)

A friend's ex (not ex at the time) apparently sucked my dick when I was blackout drunk. She "confessed" to him, but told him I initiated, and that fucked up the friendship for a while until he confronted me about it and I set things straight. I'm pretty sure he believed me, she had a bunch of other behavioral problems and she'd cheated before, but things are still weird. At least they're not together anymore.

Well if they really loved you they would accept that there are times when you a human have reached your limt and you just cant discuss it or sometimes you can discuss it.

WE are all humans right? Right. We all have limits as all humams do. The right time for each person to discuss or tackle an issue is when they feel comfortable with it.

If theu never discuss that difficult issue ? Oh well. At least that abused person was vulnerable enough to reveal that its a painful topic. People should be happy with even small moments of vulnerability just like that.

Sorry for your pain 🫂

If there are other victims who come rorward against him in the future years? D.E.ST.R.O.Y everything about that guy that you can legally do so.

Let the world and the news ALSO know about that worthless peice of manure and what he did to you. So not only do you put it on his gravestone but you also put it on the news so that the world knows forever too.

Sorry for your pain 🫂

Yup. Twice.

My father forced me to masturbate to child porn by pretending to be a girl at my school on AIM. I would get scared and freaked out, stop responding to the account, then he would call me and demand that I keep talking to this "girl" because he was bothering him at work. Very graphic, explicit highly illegal shit. He also encouraged me to share his sex toys. Once he made me jerk him off.

Later he planted CSAM on my stepfathers laptop and got him fired from his job, arrested, years long court case attempting to prove his innocence before they finally dropped the case when we found time stamped photos proving my step dad was not at home. The FBI dropped the case right before trial.

Nothing happened to my Dad. He died a decade later still a PoS. There was a funeral, but I didn't tell any of his friends. He didn't deserve mourning. This all happened when I was between 12 and 20. The last time I talked to him before he passed, when I was 30ish. My girlfriend at the time left the room, and apropos of nothing he asked what kind of porn I liked and suggested ways to hide it from her.

🫂

Im sorry for your pain 🫂

But something ill add is that ... she did say she was gonna force you to have sex with her.... so.... at that point you sjould give her what evrr little amount of sex you want to give her....and just leave when you feel comfortable to leave.

If someone forces you to do something, why should you give it your all? Its your body and your time. USe your body and your time how you want to use it.

Also sorry for your pain again 🫂

Sorry for your pain 🫂

Also the absence of evidence is not evidence of an absence. SO all because you cant remember being abused doesnt mean that it never happened. In a case like yours, I feel that you will never be sure untol you are 100% sure for yourself , cause your abusers who are off living their lives happily, selfishly will never come back to you and admit to you that that abuse happened, right? So you have to find undeniable evidence for yourself or ask investigators to.

There are stories of people who were given an intoxicant or something to fog fheir memory but dont remember what happend to them while they were in that delirious state. But they have a pretty good guess of what happened to them even though they never saw it.

🫂

Those assholes who bullied you at school ... I havent even met any of them but Im sute I hate all of them.

How cam anyone bully a child for being SA'd by someone?

🫂

There's no longer any pain, this was around 20 years ago but thanks for the concern anyway. In hindsight, we both were very insecure and people with low self esteem. I have learned alot since then but still have a lot more to learn.

I don't feel all that much sorrow about whatever happened when I was small, because I developed Narcissistic Personality Disorder to resist it. The way I process My ego, or self-image, adjusted to correct for what was missing. Unfortunately, neurotypicals think that makes Me an abuser, because a bunch of self-help books told them so.

🫂 Sorry for your pain and the victims' but also...

Scumbags walk among us each and every day.

What are we gonna do to ensure that scumbags like this are rarely ever raised again? And if they do end up becomeing scum bags any ways , will we put in rehabilitative and permanent punishments for people like them?

🫂

🫂

Yup i was a work at a apartment building when a guest was staying at an apartment they waylayed me in the stairwell i froze as they kissed me and forced themselves on me only thing running through my mind was just go with it if they say i was the one who assaulted them instead i could lose my job or in trouble legally since it would be my word against there word. Luckly before we got to sex i was able to convice them i would come back another time i can't do it now and i made sure to never see them around again and avoided them while they were around.

Sorry for your pain 🫂

Also you need to know that there is no such thing as 'minor SA incident.

You are a human. You have boundaries and limits just like all other humams. NOBODY haa any right to violate your boundaries. All competent adults who knowlingly violate another human's boundaries deserve the same punishment.

They all have equal trauma as far as Im concerned. I havemt read a study that denies these conclusions so as far as Im concerned? Im correct.

Id say that me being mutilated by circumcisiom as a baby is the closest Ive come to this happening to me.

The law doesmt see it as SA . But I do. ALL humans are entitled to an intact body, no?

Funny thing is I got 'circumcised' for religoois reasons.... but Ive been an atheist my whole life....so....what do I do now?...

🫂

Yes, this chick I went on a Tinder date did. I showed up to pick her up, then she's like "how about we stay in", so I said "ok sure". She already had stuff cooking so obviously she planned on not going to dinner or anything. Anyways we had dinner, it was ok. Her profile picture was obviously older (shocker), but not catfish levels or anything, she still was cute/ok. Anyways we had a couple drinks, and she ruffied one or both of them. All I remember is getting super tired, then flashes of her riding me on the couch.

It's absolutely disgusting movies treat guys getting SAed as a joke but it's treated as serious for women. I think there's a movie, 40 days and 40 nights where the dude is literally tired to a bed and a girl basically raped him and it's treated as a comedy scene.

I've managed better than a lot of people, and it's because I have been incredibly gifted with some of the best friends I could ever ask for.

I agree that it won't end until humanity ensures it ends. I don't want to sound pessimistic, but I don't believe that will ever happen. It may be reduced, and I hope it is, but I don't think it will ever go away. The most important thing is early and empathetic help. We need to be better as a society in reaching out to those that have been hurt and giving them all the support they need. This stretches well beyond sexual abuse, too. Mental health is something we are culturally just now embracing, and we need to be more proactive about it. We need to create safe spaces for those that need it before we know there are those that need it, lest we let those in truly difficult times endure the worst of it. We can do better. And while I don't think it will ever end, I think we can do better about helping those in trouble. No one deserves it, and no one deserves to suffer because of it.

i had an ex who did this. Lost all interest in sex with her when she started doing it.

And the wild part? I didn't even think of it as assault, but when i recently (maybe a year or two ago) reframed as "the inebriated cannot consent" I'd have to say, that definitely happened twice. I blamed myself for being drunk both times. Neither time has ever sit well with me, even before I reframed it.

And in both cases, the other, I feel weird even saying assailant, was stone sober.

No I haven't, and I don't know anyone who has been either. However, that doesn't mean it doesn't happen, and I agree that people should be able to talk about it without being stigmatized or harassed - I wish more people agreed about that.

Whenever I share, it goes poorly and I only end up triggering myself. I now only share with people in my inner circle and only if it's relevant to something. Talking about it is really hard and if it goes poorly, it can retraumatize. Women have to defend immediately, ala "well what were you wearing?" Bitch I was 4. I don't blame people for not talking about it more openly.

It's fucking rape culture and there are way more enablers of it than any of us are comfortable admitting. If you cover for a rapist in any way, you're as bad as they are.

That's so fucked up

It's not minor at all. She sounds really manipulative and in desperate need of professional help. I hope she gets it before she hurts more people.

I don't blame you

So many people failed you and that's terrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

That's awful, your mom failed you.

I'm so glad she got fired. It takes courage to report this kind of thing, by doing so you prevented this happening to more people in your office.

Jfc are you ok? My story is similar, though not ever a doctor. I wish I could give you a hug :(

It gave me consent issues too :( from then on I would freeze during sexy time and was unable to speak at all. This led to a lot of sex I didn't want to have. One single trauma can cause that kind of damage. I'm so sorry for your suffering, I hope that woman ended up in prison where she belongs.

You deserved better, fuck that guy

We were young and both had our issues, and we're both better off separated.

I've found a new relationship (when you find the right person, you understand why it didn't work with anyone else) and I'm in a much better place overall.

She's now a he (FtM trans) and is much more stable as a result. He's a teacher at a school in a city 4.5 hours away from me, and has remarried.

I consider myself an LGTBQ+ ally, and I fully support my ex's right to transition and be recognized as his preferred gender. And I can still say that my ex wife was a manipulative piece of work who left scars on me, so I just don't want anything at all to do with him, even if he's better.

He deserves happiness, but he can be happy over there, 4.5 hours away.

Yeah, I'm fine, thank you. It was hard, but... These rapes don't tell anything about me. I haven't done anything. The rapists did something, not me. It doesn't define me as a person (it had consequences on me, but a person is defined by their actions, and they did stuff to me).

I wish I could give you a hug though. Here's to the end of patriarchy.

That's the good that came out of it for me. We were only able to handle the situation the way that we did because we had a good code of conduct in place. We've since reworked and rewritten that to be even more clear. Plus we now have a reputation of not putting up with people's shit which doesn't solve the problem but shifts it to less outspoken community organizations.

That's why I'm a big fan of positively worded codes of conduct. Somehow "We will respect other's 'no' and endeavor to clearly communicate our own boundaries" (an exhortation) rings different than "don't touch people without permission" (a prohibition).

Grow it back to spite god

foreskin resotration is long and difficult. Im getting there ....but not anytime soon... 🤷🏿‍♂️