my vampire when she realises that I'm not taking any psychiatric meds....

Drugs too, nobody raw dogging reality right now.

Except for the micro plastics, those are all drugs. One of them was even recreational, depending on the state.

they probably can smell it. vampires have all thier senses enhanced.

Why do you think I'm hiding in hell? It was more fun when it was a surprise beer or rum. Now everyone is full of this shit...

You mean drugs other than there Tylenol, psychiatric medicine and marijuana mentioned in op?

Well marijuana is barely a drug nowadays, the psychiatric medicine could be anything from a mild antidepressant to amphetamine to xanax though, so that may or may not count as not raw dogging reality (though honestly I can say that the amphetamine doesn't affect your perception of reality)

your vampire?!?!?! tell me how

https://youtu.be/Ogi6vHFfEP4

[off topic?]

Vampire can only feed off of those who love him.

Where the fuck have all the free range, organic humans gone? 😭

All the granola moms turned conservative

Actually that one was a macroplastic

Oh, for the good old days of blood flavored with opium and copious amounts of gin 🧛.

I take my pills and I'm happy all the time, happy all the time, happy all the time.

Become undrinkable

Dead from diseases that were eradicated generations ago

So, you know how farmers own dairy cows...?

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/3wNENerrFrU

Become a Wizard!

Those lives we are a small price to pay, at least from the perspective of the vampire.

Vampires have been drinking blood since when they put lead miners in a cramped cage with eachother

I wish I knew...

the victorian duchess/duke with arsenic gowns couldn't have better blood than you

Lead is a sweetener.

I mean, opioids aplenty out there in the world right now.

Not like someone doing the fentanyl lean is going to run.

Sadly, energy vampire. Just an overbearing friend that doesn't know when to go home.

Every one?
Oh when, oh when will they learn?

Any vampire that sucks my blood owes me at least $40 bucks. Minimum!

A great premise for s dystopian vampire story where their is no safe unadultered human blood left in the world and vampires are all dying.

It’s kinda true. We clutch our pearls about what enters our bodies while we’re alive but then the second we are dead our bodies qualify as toxic waste.

Vampires when they realise the concentration of garlic in my blood

If we're going to be real for a minute, there's a tragic, unbroken line from the warehouses of half-living bodies filling the old opium dens, to the modern streets of fenty zombies, and that line is human misery. It's heartbreaking that with the slightest effort from a billionaire or two, they could reduce the misery somewhat, but they refuse.

Why are the vampires draining our children's blood?

Vampires: Every single one of you is on a random cocktail of drugs.

My first real laugh today 😂. At least a vampire biting me would be super chill for the next 24 hours. 🤣🤣🤣

Reminds me of that quest in Witcher 3 where Geralt had to get drunk to lure a lower vampire.

No joke, I got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes as an adult and noticed that mosquitos avoid me like that plague now that I'm on insulin. Went to a lake infamous for their giant mosquitos and walked away from the weekend with 1 bite, no bug spray. When I was younger, I would've been lucky to only leave with 10 or 12.

the amish

Now you've got me curious regarding the fate of that one mosquito who drank your unpalatable blood.

Do vampires have to drink human blood? Could they just survive off of cows or ticks?