For me it's kind of the opposite. I have always been extremely hard on myself in every area of my life and to some extent I still am. But realizing that some of the difficulties I'm dealing with may be due to me having undiagnosed ADHD, is such a relief. It doesn't fix me. It doesn't really change anything, but it gave me the ability to forgive myself for some of the things I'm not good at or fuck up.

Sometimes you do your best and it's not really good enough, but it was the best you could do and that is okay. Life is a bit easier to live when you accept that you are a turtle and not a bird, so you don't have to constantly try and learn how to fly.

That's not what i said. I'm fully aware ADHD meds allows some people to simply function, even regardless of the environment.

That being said, it'd be naive to think pharma companies aren't bribing psychiatrists on a daily basis. Medicalizing neurodivergence is problematic in its own right.

Come on buddy we're all friends here, don't sarcasm me, please :)

That with that kind of defeatism the US would still live under jim crow laws.

Ah so you're LARPing as a civil rights activist, got it.

You do realize that this right here isn't "activism" right? That in reality I'm doing more activism by giving someone advice on how to navigate the world as it currently exists than you are by pretending that saying "Things should be better than they are" on a random ADHD Meme community is "activism" in any real sense of the word.

Then think about what you're saying. If you actually believe that medication can be helpful, but then you go around saying things that can be easily misconstrued as "Half of them will ignore you, and the other half are shills for big pharma you shouldn't trust them," how can those two things coexist? How can you not see that those words are going to lead to people just deciding against even attempting to get on medication even if they might be among the group that it helps to not suffer in a society built around the convenience and function of neurotypicals?

Me every time I have a day when I actually get shit done.

Maybe it's the mix of autism and ADHD but I don't relate to not doing tasks or delaying them. I have to do them now and then, likely the OCD taking over

Apparently DSM6 is giving up on naming disorders and will instead name only the traits. So instead of being diagnosed as autistic and ADHD you'll be diagnosed with Hyperfocus, Executive Disfunction, Maladaptive Daydreaming and stuff like that...

Did that occur to you that medication isn't for everybody? I've been prescribed pills and I felt terrible.

There's nothing to be misconstructed. https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/193nmt1/142_million_in_undisclosed_conflicts_of_interest/

It's the truth.

Maybe we could give benzos to women so they can bare their shitty housewife life.

Ah wait, we're already doing that lmao

Maybe we could give benzos for free so the woman can bare sexism.

Feel better now?

There's a difference between "it's not for everybody," and "half of them can't be trusted and the other half won't believe you."

So you don't actually believe that medication can help people with ADHD at all, got it. There's no other reason for you to make a disingenuous comparison like that. You can just say it, you aren't going to hurt my feelings hon.

Yeah my grandma couldn't keep her key for the life of her. It makes me sad to think she spent her whole life not knowing what was happening to her.

Nah, I definitely have ADHD because otherwise my amphetamines wouldn't be acting as a sleep aid.

no ofc not. I go on lemmy to fucking relax not take your sarcasm. I had to carry an suicidal SO to the psychward, where the fucking guy told me "I'm only handling pure psychiatric cases (aka so i can prescribe pills), then the day afterward I found her unconscious and I had to carry her to the emergency. Fuck you for defending psychiatrists and all the people that suffered because of them.

Unlike you, i'm not trying to hurt anybody's feeling. You deeply hurt mine though, and you clearly don't care. I tried to be nice to you and you kept being hurtful.

You're just a mean person buddy. Nothing to do with pills or mental disease.

The funniest thing to me is you calling me ableist because what? I don't agree with you and called you out for LARPing at activism? I'm disabled, I've got 3 developmentally disabled kids, all with varying degrees of autism and ADHD, my partner is disabled to the point where even if I was personally physically able to work I couldn't because she needs me available 24/7 to care for her.

Oh but no, I'm talking about engaging with the system as it exists as a neurodivergent person. That obviously must mean my only goal is to perpetuate the current system of wage slavery. Not to idk maybe help some people like me make it through their day without it taking literally every ounce of energy they have just to exist, let alone keep up with any of the demands of living like rent, food, etc.

And none of this is my fucking fault. Remember when i said "sorry that happened to you" and tried to find a middle ground and you kept attacking me for no reason?

(edit:wanted to change my wording to be less accusatory)

Obviously I don't have your entire story, and I'm prepared for you to immediately jump down my throat again for "defending psychatrists" for this. But you do know there's also a chance that they just... didn't have any more capacity at the ward at that time to provide the kind of care your SO needed right? Which is horrible, and I'm very sorry that the both of you went through that. But not everything is about psychiatrists wanting to push pills. There's a very real chance that their capacity to care for in-patient suicide risks was maxed out and that really was all they could handle at that time. Would you rather they have taken her into the ward and not had proper supervision on her and something happened to her in there because they took in too many patients?

The healthcare system is deeply flawed, it sucks, there are bad actors all over it. But that doesn't mean that everyone who shares a specialty with those bad actors is themselves also a bad actor. You might want to find someone to talk to about that experience, because it seems to have really deeply affected you.

Are you sure?

I mean my ADHD has me constantly doing things. But it doesn't mean those things are in a logical priority.

Need to get that project done for work by tomorrow?

Sure, why don't I start with the laundry, and then the dishes so that I "don't have any distractions" and ooh that dishwasher is filthy, and.... Had that lightbulb always been broken? I better go to the store to get a replacement. Ugh and now I'm so hungry, better cook dinner. What better time to learn a new recipe...

My entire life is that scene from Malcom in the Middle

https://youtu.be/5W4NFcamRhM

Something like ADHD is notably difficult to diagnose because its symptom behaviors are things that other people also experience, just less frequently or severely. Everyone has limited executive function, spaces out, forgets things, becomes restless, procrastinates, etc. to some degree. So it's difficult to notice the point where it crosses the threshold of interfering with a healthy life.

It is entirely reasonable to wonder if you've been misdiagnosed as having it, just like a neurotypical person may wonder if they have ADHD from normal experiences. It's not like we have another life to compare ours to.

It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose; that is not a weakness, but a part of life.

• Jean Luc Picard

Word to live by.

Same boat here, wasn't diagnosed until my 40's, but I made it through college with great grades (not the first time around, went back to school in my late 20's), well respected in my career and making good money... but I spent 3 days last week playing video games on my time off when I was supposed to be getting stuff done around the house.

There'll be a point where my ability to "do" will switch back on, and all that will get done.. it just didn't happen last week.

At least the wife is understanding and knows that when my brain clicks over again it'll be dealt with.

Kept attacking you? What are you talking about? All I did was ask you what good it does to come into a conversation about the difficulties in getting diagnosed with ADHD and basically just saying "Well maybe we shouldn't diagnose it like that." If I came off like I was attacking you, I'm sorry. That wasn't what I was trying to do there. I was genuinely just confused at what the point was of that comment.

But then the very next thing you did pretty much was to imply that if I was in Rosa Parks' shoes I'd have moved to the back of the bus. But I guess it's not attacking people when you're just "hitting back" huh?

Comforting words to remember as well. Have taken a lot of hits lately, mostly things that are entirely out of my hands as well, so this was nice to read. 🥲

At least I'm lucky in love and friendship, so yay!

How is it funny? You're being hurtful and mean and jump on my throat for expressing something I lived through. I'm not launghing. I'm sad

This is my daily as I struggle to find a medication that does ANYTHING for me. Maybe it's just all me.

I like how rather than engaging with the comment where I apologized for the possibility that I might have unintentionally come off as antagonistic during my first reply to you and kickstarted this whole chain of events, you instead decided to go back to a comment you already replied to and just... continue posting through it about how I'm being hurtful and mean.

Maybe you should take a break and find a professional to talk to about all this hon. Or like... take a walk, go pet something fluffy, like... do anything but continue hitting the "Comment" button maybe? Either way, I'm done enabling this. Find someone else to rage at because they disagree with you and then say they're attacking you when they defend themselves from you calling them an "ableist pos" "stupid cunt" "good slave" and implying that if they were in Rosa Parks' shoes they'd have moved to the back of the bus just to name a few. Or again, is it okay when you do it because I apparently "attacked you first" when I didn't even realize I could even have been being antagonistic and even apologized for coming off that way if that was how what I said came off to you.

I hope you can find peace. Because mine's in the Block button. Have a nice life.

So much this! I was in therapy for depression. I had no idea that I had ADHD, just internalized the stuff about being lazy, not trying hard enough, etc. Then I eventually got a therapist who has ADHD. She started sprinkling in stories from her own life, and every time I was like "OMG, I relate so hard to that!" Eventually she was like, "Sooo have you considered...?"

All you can do is see if treatment helps or not, but if they are character flaws, but you have a desire to change them, and ADHD treatment helps you do that, then what does it really matter.

That's what I tell myself because I lived most of my life with a family that didn't believe in mental health issues and I was brainwashed that I was just a bad, flawed person. When it comes to the Autism its a different story because there is no treatment for adults and it's nearly impossible to get into the one clinic that offers diagnoses for adults, so I still struggle with believing I have it despite the big list of evidence I compiled and the fact that my neurodivergent friends always assumed I did and didn't know I didn't know. LOL

Oh yeah, I'm comorbidities-R-us, so much that I can't talk about it or else people start to think I'm just trying to collect psychiatric disorders like badges. It's really invalidating, especially when people hardly believe me even when I just talk about one!

And I don't presume to know your age, but don't assume mine; I've been around more than a couple decades, and I was alive in a previous millenium. I've had a journey and then some.

I'm sometimes very glad my psych has ADHD but sometimes she forgets to fill my prescriptions so...