The joke is mystery, like duh, the conversations about how to use it were relevant. No human in the US had anxiety over bidets. When conversations about the sea shells were had, they involved the physical use of them specifically.

Bidets weren't in the zeitgeist. When people engage with the sea shells (the literal and exact intention of the sea shells was to wonder how you use them), they thought about how they would physically replace toilet paper. The scene literally shows you the main character generating paper to use.

Like it's crazy I even have to note this, when you hear hoofbeats in Wyoming, you don't wonder if zebra are making them.

It's funny that people always answer like this "I'm already so perfect at wiping i can't imagine it getting better."

In a family of 4 the toilet paper usage in my house dropped by 90%. A purchase of toilet paper now lasted nearly 10x the length, a direct cost savings and reduction in waste into the sewer system.

Just cause you have this incredible mastery of wiping doesn't mean the world does. I'm proud of you and how clean you wipe though, congrats. I just wish you could imagine a world where you didn't get your pants wet ever time you use a bidet.

The shadowrun 5e rulebook actually allows someone to live in a small one bedroom appartment on a part time job, we are so far past what used to be considered dystopia.

Only the first one.

I just don't see how it would use less toilet paper if it's attempting to dry off a wet ass. Wet toilet paper sticks to everything, and barely takes away water.

Maybe if it was a paper towel it would get my ass totally dry without leaving bits of tissue paper on it, but that's not flushable and would end up being more paper usage for me.

I can imagine a world where my pants aren't wet. I just can't imagine one where it uses less paper or doesn't result in washcloths used only for drying anuses.

Holy shit, I had no idea Raymond Cocteau was this before he was Raymond Cocteau. That's total genius casting.

I didn't know they made another one

The way you've described it isn't how it works at all, they even have studies linking bidet use directly to something like a 2/3rds overall reduction in paper waste. Cleaning a little bit of water off your clean ass is ez!

You've literally constructed a reality which doesnt exist to avoid a bidet and you don't realize that's weird. It's super weird.

But like… how? If I try to dry my ass with toilet paper I don’t get dry and get toilet paper flakes everywhere.

I would love to understand the mechanics of this. Is it different paper?

but all told I’d much rather live in the Demolition Man future than Judge Dredd or Death Race 2000.

What Pluribus is.

Listen I'm not here to explain to you how to properly clean your ass, especially when you are imagining a world where you can tell a bidet user by their wet ass mark.

No, my anxiety is that I can't properly dry my ass which will leave a wet spot. And nobody ever explains to me how they avoid it.

How does toilet paper drying an ass use less when anytime I try to wipe my ass when it's wet - after a shower, after being in the pool, etc - it's a pain in the ass and I end up using more. Toilet paper doesn't remove water, and just shreds itself. Do I need a blow dryer? Is there some special paper? What happens in a public bathroom with their cheap-ass paper?

What I do know is I'm not dropping a couple hundred bucks to find out that there isn't actually a solution and I just sort of sit there for fifteen minutes waiting for my ass to dry.

But it's cool, I'll just continue in my worldview because I'm not worth the trouble.

Remember how there's also a giant second city underground that's barely scraping by, and the people running the utopian city are trying to eradicate them? Yeah, not a very bright take on the movie.