Maybe they're just embarrassed about how much faster than them you are?

Maybe a Generation and location thing, Gen Z here from Western Europe and i definitly would not dare/think about trying to pick up a person outside of a space thats specificly labled for dating.

For me its kind of a consent thing, outside of specific dating spaces i cant be sure that the other person wants to be botherd with dating.

Because they think they're hot shit and have an ego the size of Jupiter. In their mind, they're the catch and someone would have to be a (insert slur) to turn down such a gracious offer from the world's most attractive "alpha male".

At least turn off noise cancelling, you don’t own the bike path

Exactly. It's like they don't even realize who the protagonist is here.

Wait. My name is Carl
Who is this? It'd be so crazy if it was my brosef Stev

Bell?

Yeah 90s born here and the idea of just wandering up to someone while they’re out in the street, shopping or pretty much anywhere that isn’t like a bar (and even then unless they give some sort of indication) and running a line is wild.

My mates older brother in high school would insist that sort of stuff is how you do it. Fuck that. I hate people, mostly sales people or weirdos, bothering me when I clearly have every indication about my demeanour not to talk to me, do it. So why would I? It’s weird.

Probably it is just Americans being Americans.

Push bikes have bells that you use to ding people when you're coming up behind them to let them know you're coming

This whole thread is weird to me because being approached in public by people wanting to talk almost never happens. Not that I'm complaining exactly, it's confusing and concerning when it does, but it's hard to imagine it as such a normal thing that it has become a commonplace annoyance.

Would someone needing a push bike even be going fast enough for it to matter? I'd think it'd mostly be toddlers riding them.

I don't know what it is. I used to get approached semi-regularly, maybe once every few weeks when I was younger. But this dude, for whatever reason, was approached often. I think part of it is the places he was a lot of times. We'd be out at the bar (he would lend music/PA equipment to bands or small bars for a small fee and show up to basically drink for free) and there was one night I watched it happen half a dozen times. Not by the people who were borrowing equipment, but just random people who he didn't know.

He said it never happened at like the grocery store or whatever, but very often in bars when he'd sit alone, less often in restaurants when he'd sit alone, and occasionally at the park when he'd go sit to read (headphones in). He's good looking but not extraordinarily so and never looked especially friendly so that wasn't it. It was both men and women, men more often but women more persistently.

Some folks just have something that makes others want to talk to them I guess. I imagine it's worse for women for a few reasons (the way certain demographics of dudes are socialized, not knowing how a guy will react when you shut him down, etc). And some folks seem to believe that everyone is just waiting for them to strike up a conversation, even if the person they're trying to strike it up with is obviously actively avoiding people.

It stopped happening to me. I'm not sure if I aged poorly over the pandemic or if I just look meaner these days. He moved away so I don't get to watch that particular trainwreck anymore. I'll have to ask him.

You can break bones falling off even a stationary bike, yes, it matters. People step out in front of you at walking speed wearing headphones and cause crashes that result in not so minor injuries - especially if you're transferring your momentum into the pedestrian and their head hits the concrete. That's without even considering damage to bikes and equipment. Helmets need replacing after a single impact.

You're out of your mind if you think bikes are only really ridden by toddlers? And even then, what a great experience for toddlers to have preventable crashes

I never said bikes in general are ridden by toddlers, just push bikes. They don't tend to have the strength to push very hard. Also doubt they'd be ringing a bell for anything other than to hear it themselves anyway

A push bike is a term used interchangeably with non-electric bicycles here, I was not aware they're something else wherever you live

It was a typo! I was saying car, don’t be so fuckin’ gay. Fag.. I was talking about a cool car. A rad car…

But, you know, you could call, just because. Hang up if Linda answers. She doesn’t believe me about the hunting trips anymore. I miss you.

https://youtube.com/shorts/4bpL14Z9RKE

The only guys who are going to approach you are the guys with no boundaries. Which is going to feed the confirmation bias.

They mean push (pedal) bike vs motor bike, not a bike that you push around.

Idk I've known married couples that preferred to live far apart or other married couples who were casual partners but needed marital benefits

Well then we're not going to pick you up on the street!

"Women are so unreasonable! Amirite, guise??"

The only guys who are going to approach you are the guys with no boundaries. Which is going to feed the confirmation bias.

What confirmation bias? The confirmation bias of this straw woman you have here?

Same here, man.
My entire day is ruined.

Only the women, though?

I think it was jus a joke...

We’d be out at the bar

LOL! What psychopath sits at the bar with earbuds in?

This seems dependant on location to me. In a region I lived before it would be rare that someone would talk to me in public like at the store, now where I'm at it happens all the time, people seem much more social in general. I used to be sort of confused when it did happen, now I'm used to it and it feels like a nice human moment when it does usually.

You should just talk to people to be nice. If it turns into something else, then great! But I hate when somebody starts a conversation with me and they have an agenda: like, they want me to give them money or join their religion or something like that. Just talk to people because it's a nice thing to do!

And if somebody's giving social cues that they want to be left alone, then...don't do that. Because that wouldn't be nice.

Oh, I thought s.o was Significant Other, i.e. a partner, and my reaction was "Yeah, the chances of that happening are practically zero".

I have never, ever heard a woman complain about not being hit on. Not even chronically single women.

A psychopath that doesn't want to make a habit of drinking at the house because they know it'll become a problem but doesn't want to interact with people because they're going through shit? Possibly a psychopath that gets to drink for free because of the gear loan? A psychopath who wants to watch his gear and take it home with him rather than leaving it in a public place or with a group of drunk musicians overnight?

I'd not heard the term and had to look them up. The results I found had no pedals. They move by being pushed. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

But I didn't say anything about picking a person up except to explicitly exclude it from what I was talking about. The comment I responded to was specifically about starting a conversation.

My wallet’s too small for my fifties and my diamond shoes are too tight!

As a wise person once said…

If I have both earbuds in, don’t talk to me.

If I have one earbud in, don’t talk to me.

If I have neither in, don’t talk to me.

Starbuck wouldn't try to sell swamp thing!

They probably misconstrued "pick-up artists aside" as being very specifically about literal "pick-up artists" rather than as a generalized hitting on someone in public thing.

I do agree with them, though, in that it's very culturally dependent on how okay it is. I remember from a long time ago now one of those "kids today are always glued to their phones" memes where somebody just responded with a photo of a commuter rail car from the 50s where every single person in the photo was reading the newspaper, and I have a similar story from my dad about my grandfather: My grandfather worked in NYC for over 20 years and he commuted by train. During those commutes, he sat next to the same man, twice a day - on the way there and on the way back - for years, and only once in at least a decade did they ever speak to each other. "Are you finished reading that?" Those were the 5 words that man spoke to my grandfather, who handed him the paper he had finished reading, and they never exchanged another word again. I don't think they ever even looked at each other.

I would also add that it's a very extroverted thing to do, and not in the sense of social anxiety or something, but in the sense that introverted people burn mental and emotional energy in social interaction, and by trying to engage with a stranger in a random conversation, you might be using up the spoons they have that day. I'll talk to random people in public as well, but I keep it to one-off statements that people can either leave be or reciprocate with if they want. A joke about the traffic in trying to navigate the grocery store, that sort of thing. I'm very good at talking with people, I learned it from working a service industry job as a teen, to the point where I was basically the public face of a company, but I find it EXHAUSTING to do. I'm an introvert, pure and simple, and social interaction simply takes energy to do. At the end of the day, all I want to do is isolate myself so I can recharge and unwind.

Plus, there's the whole "women having to handle a man" aspect. Women have to treat men differently and behave differently to protect themselves when interacting with men (ones they don't know in particular), and so a random stranger trying to start up a conversation is A Situation that they have to analyze. It goes back to the "women would prefer to be in the woods with a bear" thing. Women would rather a random bear try to start a conversation with them in public, or something.

Next time you talk to him, suggest that he pick up some of those over the ear noise cancelling headphones. You don't even have to have them turned on, but the size of them makes taking them off such a visible hassle that it seems to discourage a lot of those kinds of people. And the rest you can ignore and pretend that you couldn't hear them because you had the noise cancelling on.

I was going to respond at least somewhat affirming what you said and then I saw who you linked. Gross. Can't stand BilleRaeBrandt. Nothing but an apologist for misogyny.

Yep, that's why I ride this around:

youtube.com/watch?time_continue=39&v=XTQSWtK65PE

My grandfather worked in NYC for over 20 years and he commuted by train. During those commutes, he sat next to the same man, twice a day - on the way there and on the way back - for years, and only once in at least a decade did they ever speak to each other. "Are you finished reading that?" Those were the 5 words that man spoke to my grandfather, who handed him the paper he had finished reading, and they never exchanged another word again. I don't think they ever even looked at each other.

Best friend he ever had. They still never talk sometimes.

I've seen it online but it always looks like obvious interaction bait. Someone trying to get clicks and comments so they can be an influencer or similar.

I already sent him one message this week!

Seriously though, this whole thing has me curious about the current state of things so I shot him a message asking about it. I'll pass it along if he still needs the advice.

Noise cancelling only really works on constant background noises like an engine. It doesn't work on bells and just kind of muddies speech, but you can still here the noise.

I don't know who that is, I simply searched "men not approaching" in YouTube search. There's no shortage of similar contradictory content. Women are not a monolith, so it stands to reason that some genuinely don't want to be approached at all, and some do, but since we're not psychic, that just leaves respectful men not approaching as a default position.

If the only men who approach you are people who don't respect boundaries, then every man you meet has similar traits, and then it's easy to think all men your problem when it's not. Just because you're easily lost in conversation doesn't make everything a strawman. It's not a magic incantation that makes you look smart.

Only women I've heard that from are all lesbians lol

And even then it's with a layer of self-awareness

No this seems like some made up scenario. Complete bullshit, if you will. But, go off.

Hes not "so close to getting it" he completely understands the bait hes setting out.

I guess she is a youtuber or tiktoker or whatever who makes short videos about hetero relationship issues that (as far as I have ever seen) always blame the woman for why things have gone wrong with their dating attempts or existing relationships, etc. It's never the man's fault.