W... w... what? This can't be serious...

"I kept feeling these awful little wayward pieces brushing against my face, and I couldn’t think about anything else"...
Telford spent most of her hour-long lunch break locked in her office, trying unsuccessfully to pin back the bangs...
"I just can’t believe they didn’t fire me on the spot"...
"Months of work down the drain all because my... bangs..."

Source [web-archive]

W... what? Not only the haircut looks normal to the point I do still believe the photo is not the person with the "bangs" but the author of the article! I mean... if this photo is supposed to present the "bangs" that "ruined" her work to the point she got almost "fired" and ruined her months-long work...? This is just wrong... This is not serious... It's impossible this is a serious case, I believe...

It must be a joke, sorry... If it's not a joke... well... please do get yourself together... What kind of anxiety is that? You should focus on more important things, dear wonderful lady. Your "bangs" looks absolutely normal, I believe, and who even cares about these except you at this point? I didn't even notice anything wrong on that photo!

Please... Of course, outer look is important and must be appropriate, but if you care so much about these "bangs" and consider them so awful they affect your work so significantly... well... you should find a hobby or something...

You gotta transport your perspective back to 2007.

Edit: and if you're genuine, yes, satire uses exaggeration for comedic effect. See: sarcasm, irony

It's from The Onion

And this is a satire comm