There has been this thing where a user seems to be able to make special posts that don't follow my feed format including bluring nsfw when my setting says not to but also making them pop out over the rest. I very much am big on user control of their experience. Is this something that actually happens. Can it be blocked or overwritten or something? Only thing I can think to do is block users who do whatever causes it.

I am not sure what you mean by pop out? Do you have an example or a screenshot?

As for blurring, that could be caused by post flair. I have seen some communities in the past create a post flair called NSFW that applies blurring in addition to the actual NSFW flag that can be set. The post flair causing blurs is an option that community mods can set when they create/edit the post flair. The intention behind that was for stuff like spoiler blurring, but there isn't anything stopping them from applying it to whatever they want.

sorry my pop out comment was just visually its a bit unfair but I think it is the community flair. besides the blur it like has a different color border and such. This is good as it sounds like its not as much about the user as the community which makes it a bit easier.

Pie Fed supports blurring for spoiler posts, could that be what's happening here?

I very much am big on user control of their experience.

You might be in the wrong place.

I turn off nsfw blurring but im not sure spoiler is user settable.

no im in the exact right place. I have setup how a lot of my feed looks. its generally awesome.