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The Picard Maneuver lemmy.world The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-22
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1022   Original
one_old_coder piefed.social one_old_coder@piefed.social
Joined: 2026-02-08
#2 · (edited) Quote Reply

In France we have a meme where "public transport funding" or "health insurance" are listed as benefits, except they are mandatory according to the laws. Haha :(

It's like saying "paying our taxes" or "getting a salary" is listed as a benefit.

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Niksolo80 lemmy.world Niksolo80@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-02
#3 · Quote Reply

I can smell the microwaved fish and burnt popcorn from here.

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Hond piefed.social Hond@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-08-28
#4 · Quote Reply

hey, thats more than at my current job.

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justdaveisfine piefed.social justdaveisfine@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-06-23
#5 · Quote Reply

Don't forget the free "coffee" from a coffee blend you've never heard of in your life that exclusively comes in 1lb commercial tins, and does unquestionable internal damage for every cup you drink.

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kboos1 lemmy.world kboos1@lemmy.world
Joined: 2025-12-10
#6 · (edited) Quote Reply

Don't forget the free "coffee" from a coffee blend you've never heard of in your life that exclusively comes in 1lb commercial tins, and does unquestionable internal damage for every cup you drink.

You mean the full of nuts coffee? Disgusting

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PattyMcB lemmy.world PattyMcB@lemmy.world
Joined: 2025-02-12
#7 · Quote Reply

That microwave is far too clean

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Sunschein piefed.social Sunschein@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-09-05
#8 · Quote Reply

Just add a few potatoes and some meat...

image

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CompactFlax discuss.tchncs.de CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de
Joined: 2025-02-14
#9 · Quote Reply

Don't forget the free "coffee" from a coffee blend you've never heard of in your life that exclusively comes in 1lb commercial tins, and does unquestionable internal damage for every cup you drink.

I’m lucky in that my corpo superauto coffee machine is stocked with a local midsize specialty roaster’s espresso blend. It would be decent if the machine was (and was cleaned), but I still end up drinking about 10 espressos (mostly decaf). Come to think of it, that’s another good reason not to buy an espresso machine for at home.

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CompactFlax discuss.tchncs.de CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de
Joined: 2025-02-14
#10 · Quote Reply

In France we have a meme where "public transport funding" or "health insurance" are listed as benefits, except they are mandatory according to the laws. Haha :( It's like saying "paying our taxes" or "getting a salary" is listed as a benefit.

Do you mean “funding” like they pay for the transit pass or funding like they pay taxes?

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pageflight piefed.social pageflight@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-09-04
#11 · Quote Reply

Or even: lots of free snacks! But a voice in company decisions, or notice before termination? No no, that doesn't increase ROI.

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snooggums piefed.world snooggums@piefed.world
Joined: 2025-07-08
#12 · Quote Reply

That microwave is far too clean

They aren't going to use a current picture. Getting close enough would expose them to the smells.

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𝕾𝖕𝖎𝖈𝖞 𝕿𝖚𝖓𝖆 lemmy.world spicytuna62@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-12
#13 · (edited) Quote Reply

Don't forget the free "coffee" from a coffee blend you've never heard of in your life that exclusively comes in 1lb commercial tins, and does unquestionable internal damage for every cup you drink.

Your places of work are providing a coffee machine? And they're stocking it? Someone was nice enough to buy one for the break room, and everyone who partakes in the break room coffee rotates who buys the next can/bag of it.

We also previously had this microwave with 0-9 buttons that set it for a totally arbitrary amount of time. You didn't enter a number of minutes and seconds and press Start. If you pressed 2, you got 30 seconds. 3 gave you a minute. 4 gave you 3 minutes. None of it made sense. We got a new one a couple years ago with a dial on it that sets it for incrementally more time as you turn it. So much easier to understand without a player's guide.

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ms.lane lemmy.world ms_lane@lemmy.world
Joined: 2024-06-03
#14 · Quote Reply

Only one microwave though and everyone has lunch at the same time.

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SuiXi3D fedia.io SuiXi3D@fedia.io
Joined: 2024-03-04
#15 · Quote Reply

Only one microwave though and everyone has lunch at the same time.

And it’s a five minute walk to get there, but you have to clock in and out at your desk.

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vector42 lemmy.world vector42@lemmy.world
Joined: 2026-02-04
#16 · Quote Reply

I worked at an American multinational company. When discussing the benefits they told me they had a parking garage. I didn't even have a car.

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Catoblepas lemmy.blahaj.zone Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2023-06-13
#17 · Quote Reply

I had a coworker that called the water dispenser ‘the company health plan’. Hope he’s doing alright now.

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Heiliger Strohsack feddit.org 123@feddit.org
Joined: 2025-01-12
#18 · Quote Reply

Meanwhile the main (sometimes only) advantage the (former) employees are mentioning is the puncutal payment.

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DickFiasco sh.itjust.works DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2025-06-24
#19 · Quote Reply

Just add a few potatoes and some meat...

Woah woah woah, there's still plenty of meat on that bone.

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Heiliger Strohsack feddit.org 123@feddit.org
Joined: 2025-01-12
#20 · Quote Reply

I had a coworker that called the water dispenser ‘the company health plan’. Hope he’s doing alright now.

Were they sarcastic or do/did they work in HR or management?

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Flying_Parpaing lemmy.world Flying_Parpaing@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-21
#21 · Quote Reply

Do you mean “funding” like they pay for the transit pass or funding like they pay taxes?

They pay for at least 50% of your transit pass

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toynbee lemmy.world toynbee@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-08-02
#22 · Quote Reply

Your places of work are providing a coffee machine? And they're stocking it? Someone was nice enough to buy one for the break room, and everyone who partakes in the break room coffee rotates who buys the next can/bag of it. We also previously had this microwave with 0-9 buttons that set it for a totally arbitrary amount of time. You didn't enter a number of minutes and seconds and press Start. ...

The founder of the company that currently employs me bought some, apparently, crazy espresso machine for the break room (I don't drink coffee or espresso or anything like that, so I don't know what made it so special).

However, when he sold the company, his one requirement (beyond the expected) was that he be permitted to take the machine with him.

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arrow74 lemmy.zip arrow74@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2025-06-04
#23 · Quote Reply

They pay for at least 50% of your transit pass

Damn that's an amazing deal compared to having to find 100% of my own transit costs

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dylanTheDeveloper lemmy.world dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-09
#24 · (edited) Quote Reply

Only one microwave though and everyone has lunch at the same time.

And only 1 table and 4 chairs so everyone shares elbow space while everyone else has to go outside

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NABDad lemmy.world NABDad@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-12
#25 · Quote Reply

I asked for a water cooler for our office. We had about 10 people working at the site, one suffered from kidney stones and I had gout. The nearest water cooler was two floors above us.

I asked my manager for a water cooler and he said no. He said if we got a water cooler, the people at the other sites would want one too.

The other two sites had only two people each, so it was different, but also, why the hell wouldn't you want them to have water too?

He got passed over for promotion and left when a prior subordinate became his supervisor. After he left the new manager asked me if we needed something, and I said we'd like to have a water cooler. She was both shocked that we were previously denied and surprised that water was what we needed to be happy. We've had the water cooler ever since.

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darkmarx lemmy.world darkmarx@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-18
#26 · Quote Reply

Anytime I see a meme like this, it makes me greatful for the benefits the company I work for offers.

We don't have a microwave. I wish we did. And the coffee is about what you'd get at an average diner. We do have a subsidized cafeteria though. Lunch is typically around $2, and the food is pretty good.

4.5 day work week - we close at noon on Fridays. Free health insurance (employee and family) with low deductible and low out-of-pocket max. Free disability and life insurance. 3% 401k contribution (not a match but instant vested contribution). 6% to 12% yearly bonus. 1% holiday bonus. Vacation time isn't great starting off, something like 2 weeks, but scales over time to a decent amount.

Benefits are good enough that I'm not going to grumble too much about the mediocre coffee and lack of microwave.

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Catoblepas lemmy.blahaj.zone Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2023-06-13
#27 · Quote Reply

Were they sarcastic or do/did they work in HR or management?

Oh, 100% sarcastic, we both barely made shit.

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kestrel7_7 lemmy.world kestrel7_7@lemmy.world
Joined: 2026-07-31
#28 · Quote Reply

The founder of the company that currently employs me bought some, apparently, crazy espresso machine for the break room (I don't drink coffee or espresso or anything like that, so I don't know what made it so special). However, when he sold the company, his one requirement (beyond the expected) was that he be permitted to take the machine with him.

Kinda makes sense, a nice espresso machine can cost over $10,000. I was thinking about getting one, but I would’ve needed to share expenses with someone. Then I was like “what if I made coffee and sold it to pay for the machine?” And then I realized I had just reinvented… the café.

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CubitOom infosec.pub CubitOom@infosec.pub
Joined: 2023-06-08
#29 · Quote Reply

Only one microwave though and everyone has lunch at the same time.

And there is a note on it telling you what you aren't allowed to microwave and its basically everything with flavor

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Hapankaali lemmy.world Hapankaali@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-09-17
#30 · Quote Reply

Damn that's an amazing deal compared to having to find 100% of my own transit costs

Well, it's part of your gross salary, so you end up paying it yourself indirectly.

Not to mention it's also cumbersome and bureaucratic. Though subsidizing public transport is a good idea, I wasn't a big fan of this implementation when I worked in France. It would be much more efficient to just subsidize local transport tickets directly, or just make it free of charge and save even more unnecessary costs in handling tickets, hiring ticket inspectors, etc.

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idiomaddict lemmy.world idiomaddict@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-16
#31 · Quote Reply

And there is a note on it telling you what you aren't allowed to microwave and its basically everything with flavor

And yet, someone still heats up tuna, egg and broccoli on the regular

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rumba lemmy.zip rumba@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2024-09-24
#32 · Quote Reply

in this economy

We're Highly competitive:
[image of paycheck]

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TrueStoryBob lemmy.world TrueStoryBob@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-02
#33 · (edited) Quote Reply

My company just got rid of the water cooler... it was apparently a subscription service costing the business $75 USD a week.

Last year our company attempted a merger the CEO and shareholders wanted but was pretty derided by industry experts and would challenge nearly century old Federal anti-trust regulations. We were almost immediately sued to stop the merger and its now been paused for more than a year, costing the company interest payments on the loans we took out to pay for it.

So far this year they downsized a whole department eliminating seven jobs including a middle manager type role, told us in not so many words that we were entering a period of deferred maintenance, and that corporate would be reevaluating cost of living adjustments for next year... the board is still planning stock buy backs and shareholder dividend payouts.

Management told us we have to cut back on "little luxuries" to which someone asked how the fuck water was a luxury. The economy is doing great!

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zaphod sopuli.xyz zaphod@sopuli.xyz
Joined: 2023-12-04
#34 · Quote Reply

Only one microwave though and everyone has lunch at the same time.

We're currently suffering through only having three microwaves for 10 people in the office.

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tetris11 feddit.uk tetris11@feddit.uk
Joined: 2025-02-17
#35 · Quote Reply

I asked for a water cooler for our office. We had about 10 people working at the site, one suffered from kidney stones and I had gout. The nearest water cooler was two floors above us. I asked my manager for a water cooler and he said no. He said if we got a water cooler, the people at the other sites would want one too. The other two sites had only two people each, so it was different, but als...

As Kirstie Allsopp says, 'A well-fed dog is a slow dog.'

~ Alan Partridge

8
dylanTheDeveloper lemmy.world dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-09
#36 · (edited) Quote Reply

Meanwhile the main (sometimes only) advantage the (former) employees are mentioning is the puncutal payment.
[deleted]
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Janx piefed.social Janx@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-12-19
#37 · Quote Reply

You mean the full of nuts coffee? Disgusting

Chock? I think it's a New York City thing...

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Janx piefed.social Janx@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-12-19
#38 · Quote Reply

I asked for a water cooler for our office. We had about 10 people working at the site, one suffered from kidney stones and I had gout. The nearest water cooler was two floors above us. I asked my manager for a water cooler and he said no. He said if we got a water cooler, the people at the other sites would want one too. The other two sites had only two people each, so it was different, but als...

You missed the opportunity to answer "strippers and steak".

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Janx piefed.social Janx@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-12-19
#39 · Quote Reply

As Kirstie Allsopp says, 'A well-fed dog is a slow dog.' ~ Alan Partridge

'Only a psychopath calls the workers enriching them dogs.'

~ Janx

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mrgoosmoos lemmy.ca mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca
Joined: 2025-03-24
#40 · (edited) Quote Reply

My company just got rid of the water cooler... it was apparently a subscription service costing the business $75 USD a week. Last year our company attempted a merger the CEO and shareholders wanted but was pretty derided by industry experts and would challenge nearly century old Federal anti-trust regulations. We were almost immediately sued to stop the merger and its now been paused for more t...

I don't understand why you would have a water cooler in the first place.

just put a fountain in?

edit: my regionality is showing. I assumed it wasn't plumbed in.

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Eternal192 anarchist.nexus Eternal192@anarchist.nexus
Joined: 2025-09-06
#41 · Quote Reply

Minimum effort for maximum expectations.

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BonesOfTheMoon lemmy.world BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-19
#42 · Quote Reply

My manager refused to get us a new fridge for our lunches when the ancient one we had died. 10K bonus a year though, she collected that.

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NABDad lemmy.world NABDad@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-12
#43 · Quote Reply

You missed the opportunity to answer "strippers and steak".

I was trying to get a slurpee machine next.

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TrueStoryBob lemmy.world TrueStoryBob@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-02
#44 · Quote Reply

I don't understand why you would have a water cooler in the first place. just put a fountain in? edit: my regionality is showing. I assumed it wasn't plumbed in.

It pulled water from the tap instead of a bottle and had a filter, plus it had hot and cold options. It was a nice water cooler, but I wouldn't have called it a luxury and never thought it could cost $75 a week.

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mrgoosmoos lemmy.ca mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca
Joined: 2025-03-24
#45 · (edited) Quote Reply

It pulled water from the tap instead of a bottle and had a filter, plus it had hot and cold options. It was a nice water cooler, but I wouldn't have called it a luxury and never thought it could cost $75 a week.

ah okay, so it was plumbed in. carry on

around here I've only ever referred to "cooler" as something that uses a tank.

now, even a water dispenser that doesn't have a fountain is still called a fountain.. unless it actually has a chiller and no fountain mouth piece, in which case it's back to a cooler, sometimes

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ParlimentOfDoom piefed.zip ParlimentOfDoom@piefed.zip
Joined: 2025-09-26
#46 · Quote Reply

Only one microwave though and everyone has lunch at the same time.

We have 3 Keurigs in the breakroom, but you can only run one at a time because they'll blow the breaker...

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idiomaddict lemmy.world idiomaddict@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-16
#47 · Quote Reply

I’m lucky in that my corpo superauto coffee machine is stocked with a local midsize specialty roaster’s espresso blend. It would be decent if the machine was (and was cleaned), but I still end up drinking about 10 espressos (mostly decaf). Come to think of it, that’s another good reason not to buy an espresso machine for at home.

God, if you gave me a couple hours to deep clean that machine, it would make my fucking day.

If only companies would pay for that, I would love to visit two or three corporate parks a day and have that be my job.

2
AdolfSchmitler lemmy.world AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-01
#48 · Quote Reply

Forgot the 30 year old coffee maker, you have to bring your own beans tho

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Viking_Hippie lemmy.dbzer0.com Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
Joined: 2024-12-04
#49 · Quote Reply

ah okay, so it was plumbed in. carry on around here I've only ever referred to "cooler" as something that uses a tank. now, even a water dispenser that doesn't have a fountain is still called a fountain.. unless it actually has a chiller and no fountain mouth piece, in which case it's back to a cooler, sometimes

a water dispenser that doesn't have a fountain is still called a fountain.. unless it actually has a chiller, in which case it's back to a fountain

So it's a fountain unless it has a chiller, in which case it's a fountain? 🤔

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ekZepp lemmy.world ekZepp@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-26
#50 · Quote Reply

Lucky one.

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Viking_Hippie lemmy.dbzer0.com Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
Joined: 2024-12-04
#51 · Quote Reply

As Kirstie Allsopp says, 'A well-fed dog is a slow dog.' ~ Alan Partridge

That's weird.. Until today, I'd never heard that one, but this is the second time today!

I hope the frequency won't keep increasing exponentially..

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