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We're highly competitive
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The Picard Maneuver
lemmy.world

The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-22
Posted:   Subject: We're highly competitive Quote

1011   Original
one_old_coder
piefed.social
one_old_coder@piefed.social
Joined: 2026-02-08
#2 Posted: · edited   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

In France we have a meme where "public transport funding" or "health insurance" are listed as benefits, except they are mandatory according to the laws. Haha :(

It's like saying "paying our taxes" or "getting a salary" is listed as a benefit.

63
Niksolo80
lemmy.world
Niksolo80@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-02
#3 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

I can smell the microwaved fish and burnt popcorn from here.

16
Hond
piefed.social
Hond@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-08-28
#4 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

hey, thats more than at my current job.

9
justdaveisfine
piefed.social

justdaveisfine@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-06-23
#5 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Don't forget the free "coffee" from a coffee blend you've never heard of in your life that exclusively comes in 1lb commercial tins, and does unquestionable internal damage for every cup you drink.

18
kboos1
lemmy.world
kboos1@lemmy.world
Joined: 2025-12-10
#6 Posted: · edited   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Don't forget the free "coffee" from a coffee blend you've never heard of in your life that exclusively comes in 1lb commercial tins, and does unquestionable internal damage for every cup you drink.

You mean the full of nuts coffee? Disgusting

7
PattyMcB
lemmy.world
PattyMcB@lemmy.world
Joined: 2025-02-12
#7 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

That microwave is far too clean

33
Sunschein
piefed.social

Sunschein@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-09-05
#8 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Just add a few potatoes and some meat...

image

9
CompactFlax
discuss.tchncs.de
CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de
Joined: 2025-02-14
#9 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Don't forget the free "coffee" from a coffee blend you've never heard of in your life that exclusively comes in 1lb commercial tins, and does unquestionable internal damage for every cup you drink.

I’m lucky in that my corpo superauto coffee machine is stocked with a local midsize specialty roaster’s espresso blend. It would be decent if the machine was (and was cleaned), but I still end up drinking about 10 espressos (mostly decaf). Come to think of it, that’s another good reason not to buy an espresso machine for at home.

5
CompactFlax
discuss.tchncs.de
CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de
Joined: 2025-02-14
#10 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

In France we have a meme where "public transport funding" or "health insurance" are listed as benefits, except they are mandatory according to the laws. Haha :( It's like saying "paying our taxes" or "getting a salary" is listed as a benefit.

Do you mean “funding” like they pay for the transit pass or funding like they pay taxes?

15
pageflight
piefed.social
pageflight@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-09-04
#11 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Or even: lots of free snacks! But a voice in company decisions, or notice before termination? No no, that doesn't increase ROI.

6
snooggums
piefed.world
snooggums@piefed.world
Joined: 2025-07-08
#12 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

That microwave is far too clean

They aren't going to use a current picture. Getting close enough would expose them to the smells.

12
𝕾𝖕𝖎𝖈𝖞 𝕿𝖚𝖓𝖆
lemmy.world

spicytuna62@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-12
#13 Posted: · edited   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Don't forget the free "coffee" from a coffee blend you've never heard of in your life that exclusively comes in 1lb commercial tins, and does unquestionable internal damage for every cup you drink.

Your places of work are providing a coffee machine? And they're stocking it? Someone was nice enough to buy one for the break room, and everyone who partakes in the break room coffee rotates who buys the next can/bag of it.

We also previously had this microwave with 0-9 buttons that set it for a totally arbitrary amount of time. You didn't enter a number of minutes and seconds and press Start. If you pressed 2, you got 30 seconds. 3 gave you a minute. 4 gave you 3 minutes. None of it made sense. We got a new one a couple years ago with a dial on it that sets it for incrementally more time as you turn it. So much easier to understand without a player's guide.

7
ms.lane
lemmy.world
ms_lane@lemmy.world
Joined: 2024-06-03
#14 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Only one microwave though and everyone has lunch at the same time.

22
SuiXi3D
fedia.io

SuiXi3D@fedia.io
Joined: 2024-03-04
#15 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Only one microwave though and everyone has lunch at the same time.

And it’s a five minute walk to get there, but you have to clock in and out at your desk.

16
vector42
lemmy.world
vector42@lemmy.world
Joined: 2026-02-04
#16 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

I worked at an American multinational company. When discussing the benefits they told me they had a parking garage. I didn't even have a car.

9
Catoblepas
lemmy.blahaj.zone

Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2023-06-13
#17 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

I had a coworker that called the water dispenser ‘the company health plan’. Hope he’s doing alright now.

12
Heiliger Strohsack
feddit.org

123@feddit.org
Joined: 2025-01-12
#18 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Meanwhile the main (sometimes only) advantage the (former) employees are mentioning is the puncutal payment.

4
DickFiasco
sh.itjust.works
DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2025-06-24
#19 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Just add a few potatoes and some meat...

Woah woah woah, there's still plenty of meat on that bone.

2
Heiliger Strohsack
feddit.org

123@feddit.org
Joined: 2025-01-12
#20 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

I had a coworker that called the water dispenser ‘the company health plan’. Hope he’s doing alright now.

Were they sarcastic or do/did they work in HR or management?

3
Flying_Parpaing
lemmy.world
Flying_Parpaing@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-21
#21 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Do you mean “funding” like they pay for the transit pass or funding like they pay taxes?

They pay for at least 50% of your transit pass

10
toynbee
lemmy.world
toynbee@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-08-02
#22 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Your places of work are providing a coffee machine? And they're stocking it? Someone was nice enough to buy one for the break room, and everyone who partakes in the break room coffee rotates who buys the next can/bag of it. We also previously had this microwave with 0-9 buttons that set it for a totally arbitrary amount of time. You didn't enter a number of minutes and seconds and press Start. ...

The founder of the company that currently employs me bought some, apparently, crazy espresso machine for the break room (I don't drink coffee or espresso or anything like that, so I don't know what made it so special).

However, when he sold the company, his one requirement (beyond the expected) was that he be permitted to take the machine with him.

2
arrow74
lemmy.zip
arrow74@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2025-06-04
#23 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

They pay for at least 50% of your transit pass

Damn that's an amazing deal compared to having to find 100% of my own transit costs

10
dylanTheDeveloper
lemmy.world

dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-09
#24 Posted: · edited   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Only one microwave though and everyone has lunch at the same time.

And only 1 table and 4 chairs so everyone shares elbow space while everyone else has to go outside

4
NABDad
lemmy.world
NABDad@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-12
#25 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

I asked for a water cooler for our office. We had about 10 people working at the site, one suffered from kidney stones and I had gout. The nearest water cooler was two floors above us.

I asked my manager for a water cooler and he said no. He said if we got a water cooler, the people at the other sites would want one too.

The other two sites had only two people each, so it was different, but also, why the hell wouldn't you want them to have water too?

He got passed over for promotion and left when a prior subordinate became his supervisor. After he left the new manager asked me if we needed something, and I said we'd like to have a water cooler. She was both shocked that we were previously denied and surprised that water was what we needed to be happy. We've had the water cooler ever since.

29
darkmarx
lemmy.world
darkmarx@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-18
#26 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Anytime I see a meme like this, it makes me greatful for the benefits the company I work for offers.

We don't have a microwave. I wish we did. And the coffee is about what you'd get at an average diner. We do have a subsidized cafeteria though. Lunch is typically around $2, and the food is pretty good.

4.5 day work week - we close at noon on Fridays. Free health insurance (employee and family) with low deductible and low out-of-pocket max. Free disability and life insurance. 3% 401k contribution (not a match but instant vested contribution). 6% to 12% yearly bonus. 1% holiday bonus. Vacation time isn't great starting off, something like 2 weeks, but scales over time to a decent amount.

Benefits are good enough that I'm not going to grumble too much about the mediocre coffee and lack of microwave.

4
Catoblepas
lemmy.blahaj.zone

Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2023-06-13
#27 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Were they sarcastic or do/did they work in HR or management?

Oh, 100% sarcastic, we both barely made shit.

4
kestrel7_7
lemmy.world
kestrel7_7@lemmy.world
Joined: 2026-07-31
#28 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

The founder of the company that currently employs me bought some, apparently, crazy espresso machine for the break room (I don't drink coffee or espresso or anything like that, so I don't know what made it so special). However, when he sold the company, his one requirement (beyond the expected) was that he be permitted to take the machine with him.

Kinda makes sense, a nice espresso machine can cost over $10,000. I was thinking about getting one, but I would’ve needed to share expenses with someone. Then I was like “what if I made coffee and sold it to pay for the machine?” And then I realized I had just reinvented… the café.

3
CubitOom
infosec.pub

CubitOom@infosec.pub
Joined: 2023-06-08
#29 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Only one microwave though and everyone has lunch at the same time.

And there is a note on it telling you what you aren't allowed to microwave and its basically everything with flavor

5
Hapankaali
lemmy.world
Hapankaali@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-09-17
#30 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Damn that's an amazing deal compared to having to find 100% of my own transit costs

Well, it's part of your gross salary, so you end up paying it yourself indirectly.

Not to mention it's also cumbersome and bureaucratic. Though subsidizing public transport is a good idea, I wasn't a big fan of this implementation when I worked in France. It would be much more efficient to just subsidize local transport tickets directly, or just make it free of charge and save even more unnecessary costs in handling tickets, hiring ticket inspectors, etc.

13
idiomaddict
lemmy.world
idiomaddict@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-16
#31 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

And there is a note on it telling you what you aren't allowed to microwave and its basically everything with flavor

And yet, someone still heats up tuna, egg and broccoli on the regular

5
rumba
lemmy.zip
rumba@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2024-09-24
#32 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

in this economy

We're Highly competitive:
[image of paycheck]

5
TrueStoryBob
lemmy.world
TrueStoryBob@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-02
#33 Posted: · edited   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

My company just got rid of the water cooler... it was apparently a subscription service costing the business $75 USD a week.

Last year our company attempted a merger the CEO and shareholders wanted but was pretty derided by industry experts and would challenge nearly century old Federal anti-trust regulations. We were almost immediately sued to stop the merger and its now been paused for more than a year, costing the company interest payments on the loans we took out to pay for it.

So far this year they downsized a whole department eliminating seven jobs including a middle manager type role, told us in not so many words that we were entering a period of deferred maintenance, and that corporate would be reevaluating cost of living adjustments for next year... the board is still planning stock buy backs and shareholder dividend payouts.

Management told us we have to cut back on "little luxuries" to which someone asked how the fuck water was a luxury. The economy is doing great!

32
zaphod
sopuli.xyz
zaphod@sopuli.xyz
Joined: 2023-12-04
#34 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Only one microwave though and everyone has lunch at the same time.

We're currently suffering through only having three microwaves for 10 people in the office.

3
tetris11
feddit.uk

tetris11@feddit.uk
Joined: 2025-02-17
#35 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

I asked for a water cooler for our office. We had about 10 people working at the site, one suffered from kidney stones and I had gout. The nearest water cooler was two floors above us. I asked my manager for a water cooler and he said no. He said if we got a water cooler, the people at the other sites would want one too. The other two sites had only two people each, so it was different, but als...

As Kirstie Allsopp says, 'A well-fed dog is a slow dog.'

~ Alan Partridge

8
dylanTheDeveloper
lemmy.world

dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-09
#36 Posted: · edited   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Meanwhile the main (sometimes only) advantage the (former) employees are mentioning is the puncutal payment.
[deleted]
1
Janx
piefed.social
Janx@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-12-19
#37 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

You mean the full of nuts coffee? Disgusting

Chock? I think it's a New York City thing...

3
Janx
piefed.social
Janx@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-12-19
#38 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

I asked for a water cooler for our office. We had about 10 people working at the site, one suffered from kidney stones and I had gout. The nearest water cooler was two floors above us. I asked my manager for a water cooler and he said no. He said if we got a water cooler, the people at the other sites would want one too. The other two sites had only two people each, so it was different, but als...

You missed the opportunity to answer "strippers and steak".

10
Janx
piefed.social
Janx@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-12-19
#39 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

As Kirstie Allsopp says, 'A well-fed dog is a slow dog.' ~ Alan Partridge

'Only a psychopath calls the workers enriching them dogs.'

~ Janx

15
mrgoosmoos
lemmy.ca
mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca
Joined: 2025-03-24
#40 Posted: · edited   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

My company just got rid of the water cooler... it was apparently a subscription service costing the business $75 USD a week. Last year our company attempted a merger the CEO and shareholders wanted but was pretty derided by industry experts and would challenge nearly century old Federal anti-trust regulations. We were almost immediately sued to stop the merger and its now been paused for more t...

I don't understand why you would have a water cooler in the first place.

just put a fountain in?

edit: my regionality is showing. I assumed it wasn't plumbed in.

9
Eternal192
anarchist.nexus

Eternal192@anarchist.nexus
Joined: 2025-09-06
#41 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Minimum effort for maximum expectations.

4
BonesOfTheMoon
lemmy.world
BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-19
#42 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

My manager refused to get us a new fridge for our lunches when the ancient one we had died. 10K bonus a year though, she collected that.

6
NABDad
lemmy.world
NABDad@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-12
#43 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

You missed the opportunity to answer "strippers and steak".

I was trying to get a slurpee machine next.

8
TrueStoryBob
lemmy.world
TrueStoryBob@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-02
#44 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

I don't understand why you would have a water cooler in the first place. just put a fountain in? edit: my regionality is showing. I assumed it wasn't plumbed in.

It pulled water from the tap instead of a bottle and had a filter, plus it had hot and cold options. It was a nice water cooler, but I wouldn't have called it a luxury and never thought it could cost $75 a week.

12
mrgoosmoos
lemmy.ca
mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca
Joined: 2025-03-24
#45 Posted: · edited   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

It pulled water from the tap instead of a bottle and had a filter, plus it had hot and cold options. It was a nice water cooler, but I wouldn't have called it a luxury and never thought it could cost $75 a week.

ah okay, so it was plumbed in. carry on

around here I've only ever referred to "cooler" as something that uses a tank.

now, even a water dispenser that doesn't have a fountain is still called a fountain.. unless it actually has a chiller and no fountain mouth piece, in which case it's back to a cooler, sometimes

8
ParlimentOfDoom
piefed.zip
ParlimentOfDoom@piefed.zip
Joined: 2025-09-26
#46 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Only one microwave though and everyone has lunch at the same time.

We have 3 Keurigs in the breakroom, but you can only run one at a time because they'll blow the breaker...

12
idiomaddict
lemmy.world
idiomaddict@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-16
#47 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

I’m lucky in that my corpo superauto coffee machine is stocked with a local midsize specialty roaster’s espresso blend. It would be decent if the machine was (and was cleaned), but I still end up drinking about 10 espressos (mostly decaf). Come to think of it, that’s another good reason not to buy an espresso machine for at home.

God, if you gave me a couple hours to deep clean that machine, it would make my fucking day.

If only companies would pay for that, I would love to visit two or three corporate parks a day and have that be my job.

2
AdolfSchmitler
lemmy.world
AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-01
#48 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Forgot the 30 year old coffee maker, you have to bring your own beans tho

9
Viking_Hippie
lemmy.dbzer0.com
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
Joined: 2024-12-04
#49 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

ah okay, so it was plumbed in. carry on around here I've only ever referred to "cooler" as something that uses a tank. now, even a water dispenser that doesn't have a fountain is still called a fountain.. unless it actually has a chiller and no fountain mouth piece, in which case it's back to a cooler, sometimes

a water dispenser that doesn't have a fountain is still called a fountain.. unless it actually has a chiller, in which case it's back to a fountain

So it's a fountain unless it has a chiller, in which case it's a fountain? 🤔

5
ekZepp
lemmy.world

ekZepp@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-26
#50 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

Lucky one.

3
Viking_Hippie
lemmy.dbzer0.com
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
Joined: 2024-12-04
#51 Posted:   Subject: Re: We're highly competitive Quote Reply

As Kirstie Allsopp says, 'A well-fed dog is a slow dog.' ~ Alan Partridge

That's weird.. Until today, I'd never heard that one, but this is the second time today!

I hope the frequency won't keep increasing exponentially..

2
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