Link: https://old.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1tdom9w/tifu_by_spending_two_weeks_rehearsing_a/

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Same_Parsley5825 on 2026-05-15 07:05:47+00:00.

so this is genuinely one of those things i will think about at 3am for the next ten years

there is this person at my college i have liked for months. we have a few common friends so we occasionally end up in the same place but never really talked properly. i decided i was going to change that.

what i did NOT do was just talk to them normally like a human being. what i did instead was spend two weeks preparing. i am not joking. i had conversation starters saved in my notes app. i practiced my "casual laugh" in the mirror. i watched youtube videos about body language. i had three different jokes ready depending on how the conversation went. i was ready.

so yesterday they walked up to ME. just came right over, smiled, and said hey.

and my brain just left. like it packed a bag and walked out. every single thing i had prepared just evaporated instantly.

i stood there for what felt like a full year and then i looked down at their feet and said "those are shoes"

not "nice shoes". not anything that resembles a normal compliment. just. those are shoes. a factual statement about their footwear.

they said "yeah haha they are" and then there was the most painful silence i have ever experienced in my life and then our mutual friend thankfully appeared and saved everyone involved

i went home and lay face down on my bed for forty minutes

two weeks. i spent two weeks preparing. for "those are shoes"

TLDR: spent two weeks rehearsing the perfect conversation with my crush, they talked to me first, my brain deleted everything and i pointed at their feet and made a statement about the existence of shoes