Link: https://old.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/1tedo11/mother_says_im_not_autistic_just_asd/

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/Plenilunio30 on 2026-05-16 00:06:51+00:00.

Sorry, I'm not sure if this is the right tag, it's a bit complex.

I (28F) was debating with my mother about some of my struggles with a few stuff. Nothing inherently important. Then I said something along the lines of "sometimes being autistic is hard".

She looked at me confused and said: "You're not autistic, just ASD."

I said they're the same thing. ASD is just another name for autism, but she said it's not. I'm not a "true autistic" because I don't behave like "an autistic", and I asked what that was supposed to mean.

Well, basically, to her, only "deep" autistic people (her words) are autistic people. I'm "just" ASD or Asperger, even if that term isn't used anymore. I tried to explain it's an spectrum, like the name says, and people with just a few symptoms are as autistic as people who are in the deep end of the spectrum, we're all autistic, we just have different levels and symptoms. But no, to her, since I live a mostly normal life and I don't face certain struggles, I can't consider myself autistic?

Then she used the "I've been learning about this for 16 years" (my younger brothers were diagnosed so early, 2yo, and I was diagnosed much later, 23yo - when they were 13yo). Apparently her knowledge as a mother of three ASD children is more valid than my knowledge as an ASD person, so she just ended the conversation saying I'm too radical and that I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'm still a bit bitter about the conversation. Was I in the wrong? Idk. Maybe she's right and I'm not autistic enough, but she usually gets me to doubt myself about a lot of stuff so... I need your opinion/advice.

Sorry for any weird wording, English is not my first language and it's hard to do English at 2 AM.