cross-posted from: https://mastodon.art/users/NickEast_IndieWriter/statuses/116583839234928477

I'm in this meme and I don't like it 😜 😂

I'm in this meme and I don't like it 😜 😂

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my second worst script so far is probably the one i had to slow down in an attempt to not crash a hospital.

Did your worse one crash the hospital?

no, i was hired because the previous guy did.

my worst one allowed me to do a python import on an excel sheet.

"The best code is no code" I say to myself before I take the fifth toilet break of my workday

Wdym its the best script. No dependencies, zero maintenance cost, extremely small attack surface.

No error handling, no input validation.....

we had a (creative) writing workshop once where they said "write the worst possible dialogue you can!" with the idea that then we would read them back, and it'd be stuff like "I love you! I'd die for you!" "But you killed for me - that's horrible!" etc and they'd point out it wasn't actually that bad with a few tweaks and a good performance.

I kinda saw that coming so I wrote stuff like,

"Zbijgl, my old fart, my favmamort n n n n number is 183442356742255214676213566873225566333543"

"But my cat food is singing, it goes anganganganganganganganganganga"

and they were forced to concede that yes, it is possible to write truly bad dialogue.

Don't need input validation if you don't take input!

I physically recoiled at this

There aren't any unhandled errors! There aren't any unvalidated inputs!

https://github.com/kelseyhightower/nocode

Eh, as long as it works and is readable enough

You can't work in the corporate world without being forced to do unspeakable things with an Excel spreadsheet.

I imagine you haven't dabbled in Korean web novels, or some humour/parody comics.

Your Zbijgl and cat food lines are better than a lot of stuff I read before. Honestly, in the right context, they could work on something from Hitchhiker's Guide to The Shining.

I can almost hear them in an episode of JoJo or Cromartie High School

my favmamort

😅
Sounds cute.

Edit: today I will call someone my favmarmot to see their reaction.

Oh, come on. They can't ALL be the worst code I've ever written!

Shitty day?

You could say that.

I know you referred to those two separately, but now they are canonically now a crossover

Oh yeah baby, you like that, you want all my formulas, don't you? So many sheets that we'll need an ultrawide to view all of you.

“Zbijgl, my old fart, my favmamort n n n n number is 183442356742255214676213566873225566333543”

https://www.workableweb.com/_pages/tips_how_to_write_good.htm

How To Write Good

Lesson 1 - The Grabber

The "grabber" is the initial sentence of a novel or short story designed to jolt the reader out of his complacency and arouse his curiosity, forcing him to press onward. For example:

"It's no good, Alex," she rejoined, "Even if I did love you, my father would never let me marry an alligator."

The reader is immediately bombarded with questions, questions such as "Why won't her father let her marry an alligator?" "How come she doesn't love him?" and "Can she learn to love him in time?" The reader's interest has been "grabbed"!

hell yeah brother

Not sure if you mean the crossover between Jojo and Cromartie, but I could only think of that conversation in the train, going like the root comment said.

Sorry, I am still bad (and lazy) at Krita.

has no bugs, extremely easy to make, very easy to read

what is there to hate

4 commits

Hypocrite.

Wow, thanks for the link, I bookmarked it. When it mentioned it was a satirical article, I was not expecting a masterclass. 😅

Michael O'Donoghue was a writer and editor -- as well as an author, playwright, radio writer, filmmaker, satirist, scribe, essayist and commentator. He was an editor and writer at the original National Lampoon, and a writer on Saturday Night Live in its early years.

Vogon poetry

Better than I am

I think we would flip it around, like:

Oh no, the BEST code ever written is the stuff that's never written.

Well, maybe that's second best only to deleting code. Why stop at zero when your amount written can go negative?

Eh, unless you disqualify the latter because it's actual work making the project or product better. I leave that up to the reader.

Don't like my code? Comments are there, you do better.

No maintenance, no comment typos, no regressions, no legal/license drama, no security breaches, no hosting costs, no issues or feature requests...

Nah I'm in this meme and I don't mind. Some validation is nice

I double dog dare you to teach high school html and say that again

😂

I was thinking the same. Zbijgl could be a quote from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

My favorite script is the one I wrote to keep my session from timing out due to inactivity. It pressed a null key once every minute.

No code, but 4.2k issues. This is bonkers.

Well, you can comment the shit out of your code, but if you use regex, you either can read it without any comment or you even can't with one.

I get flashbacks if I ever see VBA excel syntax in the wild. The horror... the horror