Link: https://old.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/1tek7na/i_am_an_autistic_nurse_and_i_dont_know_what_to_do/

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/Kerleymakayla on 2026-05-16 05:17:18+00:00.

I am a nurse and was diagnosed with autism at 26 years old about 7 months ago. Honestly, I had no idea I was autistic when I went into nursing. I thought if I forced myself into enough exposure and uncomfortable situations that eventually I would “get over” my struggles socially, mentally, and functionally.

I first worked in a hospital for about 6 months and completely burned out and had to quit. After that I went into mental health/substance abuse nursing because it was more routine-based and less chaotic than the hospital. I stayed there for almost 4 years, but I struggled the entire time even though I became much more functional there with repetition and routine.

The facility recently went through bankruptcy and I had to get a new job in the same field. Since starting over again, I feel like I am losing my mind.

I am constantly overwhelmed. I cry all the time now. I feel like I’m barely holding it together at work and it’s affecting my personal life badly. I feel exhausted mentally before I even go into shifts because I know how much effort it takes just to function normally around people.

Nobody really knows I’m autistic. I mask constantly. I spend so much energy trying to hide: confusion, overwhelm, social difficulties, executive functioning problems, sensory sensitivity, anxiety, difficulty processing things quickly, difficulty learning environments/systems unless I repeat them many times.

People at work say I am “slow.”

One thing I struggle with badly is learning systems/environments. For example, at my detox facility there are apartments/buildings with room systems that don’t match the charting names clearly. People seem to “just know” where everything is. I was shown quickly once or twice and everyone else acts like it’s common sense. Meanwhile I get confused and anxious trying to find patients or understand where things are.

I ask questions, but honestly if I asked every question I actually had, it would be nonstop. So I filter them. I try to figure things out behind the scenes by watching other people, researching things myself, memorizing patterns, or pretending I understand until I can piece it together alone. A lot of “common sense” things are not common sense to me unless I’ve repeated them many times.

The worst part is that I genuinely care SO much about doing things correctly. I overthink everything because I’m scared of making mistakes or looking incompetent. I feel like I am constantly trying to compensate and appear normal. I just don’t feel like I have ever had any other option but to just “push through”. And ever since I got diagnosed, I’ve been so exhausted of doing that now that I know what it is. I would quit on the spot if I had the option and find something that worked better for my brain. I wish I would have known all of this before I went to college and got into this position. Now I don’t know what to do.

Financially I feel trapped. I wish I could leave nursing entirely, but I cannot find anything else with remotely similar pay and I have struggled financially for years already. I feel backed into a corner.

I guess I’m posting because I want to know:

-Did anyone else choose a career thinking exposure would force you to become more socially functional, only to end up extremely burned out?

-Has anyone found careers or work environments that are more autism-friendly but still financially survivable?

-How do you survive workplaces where there are a lot of unwritten rules and “common sense” expectations?

• How do you manage the overwhelm and masking long term?

• Are there other autistic nurses or healthcare workers who relate to this?

• Does it ever get easier?

I feel very alone in this.