Link: https://old.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/1tfrmjv/im_in_love_with_an_autistic_girl_and_id_like_to/

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/SeparateAd5090 on 2026-05-17 14:49:24+00:00.

Hey everyone, I hope you’re all doing okay.

Before anything, i'd just like to say i've used AI to correct spelling mistakes and translate this from French because my english is very limited :)

I met an amazing girl this year, and she has autism. She’s the first person on the spectrum I’ve met, so I don’t know much about it yet. I know every person is very different, and I want to apologize in advance if I say anything inaccurate or unintentionally offensive.

For context, she’s part of my friend group, and I feel like lately we’ve been getting a bit closer. We walk together to her bike every day when she’s there, and we talk a lot during and afterward (sometimes she gets overstimulated and has to leave early). We also had multiple opportunities to go to a park we like, just the two of us, outside the friend group.

She has opened up to me about many of her struggles, her autism, and other things she deals with. I’m really grateful she feels comfortable enough to share that with me, and we’ve shared some really good moments together.

I’m in love with her, very much, and I really want to learn how to understand her better. This is what I know about her and her autism:

• She doesn’t like loud noises, but what’s worse is when they are unexpected (fire truck sirens, horns, etc.)

• She needs time alone

• She really likes routines and habits (for example, when we go to the park, we always sit on the same bench)

• She doesn’t always understand implied meaning easily (jokes or subtle hints can be hard for her)

• I don’t know if it’s related to autism, but she often feels like she is bothering people (even though she isn’t, and she apologizes a lot when she feels “too loud” or in the way)

• She fidgets a lot with random objects, especially when she's stressed.

• She has sensory issues with certain textures (for example, after rain, when things stick to her boots, she really dislikes it)

• At Christmas, she dislikes surprises, so she prefers to know in advance what she’s getting

• She analyzes a lot of what happens around her (texts, interactions, social situations)

• She doesn’t hate physical contact, as long as it’s not sudden and comes from someone she knows and trusts

And here are the questions I have:

-Are there common phrases or things people say that you personally hate? For example, I know she gets told “stop stressing so much” and it bothers her because she can’t just stop.

-Have I ever said anything that might have offended you? If yes, I’m sorry, and I would really like to understand how to say things better.

-I really want to understand her views on love and relationships. How could I ask without making it weird or scaring her?

-How can I ask her out? From what I’ve heard, emotionally intense speeches can be overwhelming.

-How can I tell when she is overstimulated, so I don’t make it worse?

-What do you wish more people understood about autism?

-What should I know about relationships if I end up dating her?

-Can you give examples of situations where someone helped you feel better, and what they did?

-In general, how can I politely ask about her boundaries? I’m often scared of bothering her.

-How can I help her during stressful times, anxiety, or sadness? How do I know if she wants help or space?

-Any other thoughts or advice you would like to share?

I want to reiterate that I’m aware every autistic person is different. I’m just trying to learn more about autism to make a friend’s life a bit easier, because she really deserves it.

Anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful day.