Link: https://old.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/1thjh4d/homeless_underemployed_my_life_is_going_nowhere/

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/thewrongheart on 2026-05-19 11:02:05+00:00.

Hi everyone.

I'm a 23 year old cis guy recently diagnosed with ADHD and have some definitive autistic traits too. I'm posting this here because I think this is the most relevant place. Feel free to read my post/comment history for more context, even if some of it is pretty stupid and riddled with childish humour. I'd appreciate if you read the whole thing before making judgements or giving advice. This has been rolling inside me for a very long time.

At the start of 2025 I escaped an abusive family. I have been left deeply traumatised from it all, and have cPTSD as a result.

I found roommates and spent a lot of time learning how to engage with strangers (they both have autism and we got on mostly alright). I was unemployed because trying to find a job in another city is extremely difficult, and I relied on just savings to get me by. There was a long period where after my savings ran dry and I was on government benefits. These benefits do not pay enough to live on. I was paying almost 70% of that money into rent, and lived off of pasta and frozen chicken nuggets. The entire time I was actively looking for jobs.

At some point the landlord increased rent because the market told them to do it. I am very savvy with budgeting and instantly knew I could not afford this, so at the end of lease I left the house.

I miraculously found a job just after I left this place. It pays far below industry standard, and I do more work than I expected for the role because I was not aware of what they wanted, and every new thing they try to throw on top I accept because of my severe fear of confrontation and people pleasing. Love cPTSD.

During this time I was frantically looking for a new flat (roommates). I used every online service, facebook, instagram, dedicated websites, and found a small house with a group of people on a busy street.

I was not excited about the place at all, but a roof over my head was convincing enough, and the exhaustion of starting a new job and looking for housing tore me down. I never got close to my roommates, they were very much against my lifestyle and didn't trust me. I'm very introverted and spent a lot of time in my room decompressing, while they spent every evening socialising.

Not even 3 months later, my roommates all decided to leave the house as they had found a new place to live, with 3 bedrooms for all 3 of them. Back to square zero. I decided to leave the house too because the busy street traffic made it impossible for me to sleep most nights, and the area made me depressed.

I never found another place to stay in the short period between announcing our departure and the end of the lease.

I have been living in my car for almost 6 months now. I've had some stints in my old roommates place and with a stranger I met online that abused me for having ADHD and my other autistic traits.

Every day I shower at the gym, I go to work, then I go to a library and kill time until its dark enough to shower again and find a place to sleep. I've had people try to rob me twice, and someone tried to kill me a few weeks ago. The police are absolutely useless and are putting no active effort into any of these cases.

I've been looking for housing when I have the energy, but the constant downpour of being rejected, or ignored, or ghosted from every message or application I send has absolutely shattered my will in a way I've never really had. I think this is burnout. I've had online friends and youth workers help me with my housing search, but there has been no hope in a long time.Sometimes when I have more energy I will also look for better jobs, but that is just more of the same ignore and deny.

There are a lot of difficult little challenges and barriers for me, some external, others self imposed. For instance I refuse to work in some industries because of corruption, capitalist greed and environmental damage. I refuse to live with more than 3 other people because I cannot tolerate everyone. I can't work in so and so fields because I am physically incapable, don't have the qualifications (and can't pursue them because of very valid reasons) or don't have the emotional capacity to work with people I can't tolerate. Etc. The list is long, and I can only compromise on so much.

I'm tired of trying to mold myself into any container or try to "toughen up" when I've spent my entire life doing that, and lying to myself about what I can and can't do. I choose only to live authentically and try to cling to the ever slipping hope that things will work out. My life is pock marked with many tragic events and realities and I don't know where to go from here. I live hour to hour and just let the stream take me where it wants. I'm so tired of trying.

I know many people here have it far worse than me, and I want to also add that I appreciate your struggles and wish I had something more to give.

Thanks for reading :)