Link: https://old.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/1tpt5it/i_doomed_scroll_literally/

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/nosleep by /u/Diligent-Border-3329 on 2026-05-28 04:35:36+00:00.

I’ll admit it, the algorithm that some coder or AI created works on me without fail. You know, the algorithm that sends you headlines that say things like “You Won’t Believe How Big This Cat Is,” or “This One Food Will Add Ten Years to Your Life.” And not just clickbait either. Headlines like “Man Swallows Snake” and “Woman Accidentally Dates Her Sister” also get me every time.

It’s creepy that they know me so well.

Anyway, it should be no surprise that a few minutes ago, as I was surfing around, I clicked on a headline that said “Man Writes Story of His Own Imminent Death.” I thought it sounded crazy, maybe a bit spooky, something I would like.

The article isn’t long, I pasted it below:

“A 44 year old Southdale man died today after suffering fatal injuries outside his home in the Darlington Heights neighborhood, authorities said.

According to police, the man stepped onto his front porch to retrieve a food delivery order shortly before the incident occurred.

Neighbors described him as quiet and reserved. He reportedly worked evenings at a nearby warehouse, and occasionally played guitar.

“He mostly kept to himself,” said one neighbor. “We would talk once in a while, but mostly he just asked about my birds.”

Investigators say the man had earlier posted a story to the popular Reddit forum r/NoSleep that appeared to describe his own death that would occur later that same day on his front porch. The post ended with the phrase “I’m definitely not going outside today.” When last checked, the post had not been taken down.

Authorities have yet to release details regarding the cause of his death, and the incident remains under investigation.

KSDR will continue to provide updates as more information becomes available.”

The funny thing is, I’m a 44 year old man living in the Darlington Heights area of Southdale. I realize there are probably a few guys that could fit that description, but come on. I drive a forklift in the evenings at a warehouse. I play guitar. I have a neighbor that I ask about his birds. I don’t think I’m that reserved, but whatever. The point is, this has me freaked out a bit.

I already looked at the footage from my doorbell camera and didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Not sure what I expected to see, but thought I should make sure there wasn’t anything suspicious.

I’m looking out the window right now to see if there is anything that looks like it could kill me. There’s a slight breeze, but no big gusts of wind to knock something over. The sky is blue as far as I can see, so no lightning. There doesn’t appear to be anyone or anything waiting to jump out and attack me. I was hoping this would make me feel better, but it doesn’t. I feel like the character in one of those Korean horror films. Watched. Tortured. Waiting to die.

Oh, also, I just ordered some Chinese food delivery. Coincidence? I think not.

Who wrote that story? Not me. Another algorithm? How do they know me so well?

I’ll tell you one thing.

I’m definitely not going outside today.