Wait until it refuses to update after 3 years - 'lol your toaster is now a legacy product. Buy our extended legacy support package'.

Just roast your bread over a burning data centre

Just give it that upgrade that prevents all software issues.

Rip the cpu out

It's a consumer decision.

Yeah, but please share it online so we can all laugh at you! Think of the sweet sweet karma!

Dam you weren't f'in around, literally $450 retail LMAO

Monopoly offers:

• 250 USD toaster with no ads
• 17 USD toaster with ads that only works with authorized bread distributors

The toaster monopoly?

Subscription based, loaves becoming slightly smaller every year, fees bumped up every 2 years, toaster hardware obsolete in 5 years.

Edit: every other bakery bought or gone burst, CEO paying lobbyists to make ovens illegal 'to protect the children'.

I'll take whatever drugs this guy is on.

This future meme is years old now.

You'll be required to scan the barcode of the packaging of the bread to continue
to validate if your bread is up to quality standards

Cory Doctorow wrote a series of short stories and this is the first one in the book. They just want toast.

Fittingly, the book is called Radicalized.

Buys overpriced crap, gets overpriced crap.

How could this happen to me!?

Unauthorized Bread is a tale of immigration, the toxicity of economic and technological stratification, and the young and downtrodden fighting against all odds to survive and prosper.

So good and probably my favourite of the four stories

wait what this is real?

Each slice will come with a disposable cryptowrapper that will be used by the toaster to validates the authenticity of the bread within.

Given the high risk of deaths from house fires caused by toasting unregulated slices of black market bread--maybe inserted by unsuperivsed children--this is the most socially responsible path forward.

How many $10 Dollar General Specials is that?

Fuck that, just get an old boxed sprimgs and wire it to a plug and warm it up by plugging it in.

If you buy a smart toaster that's on you, not "2026." Same with fridges. It's not like TVs where it's the cheaper option. This shit is not standard.

• 250 USD toaster with no ads

Minimal ads, come on, let's not get crazy here

🍞🎁This holiday season give a eToast gift carb! Unsolicitedly surprise your breadies with a reloadable gift card and a loaf they can use to toast ad-free or purchase a loaf of their own! 🍞🎁

When you open the box for a waffle iron and there’s a big card saying “Hello” And an QR instead of a manual slip in twenty languages.

Unauthorized Bread immediately came to mind when I saw the meme. Time for a reread

At least a dozen.

I predict analogue methods of cooking are going to come back, if they aren't already in the process.

Lodge cast iron stock about to shoot through the roof. lmao.

Gotta shell out big bucks for a toaster that can toast gluten free bread

You're one step closer to Unauthorized Bread