Damn , your mom must have CTE from all the shots to the head .

Seriously pulling a your mom joke? How many cob webs were on that mofo? Or should I be asking how old are you?

Even faster if you're doing it in a plane

I swear there is a George Carlin bit about this but I can't find it in my super quick search, I heard it on a record when I was like 11 or 12 so it's possibly my memory is foggy lol.

@joeljoelle @Patnou Are you thinking of Sammy the Sperm? Always working out so he gets to win the race and fertilize the egg? "Go back, go back! It's a blow job!"

When basic biology is labeled NSFW....

Americans be like:

Humm I'm not sure, I thought it was a bit about condoms or something, haha.

we don’t get PPE or healthcare, so biology is scary

If only that NSFW label would have stopped them from reading it

Reminds me of that 'joke' about Superman lol

Not this American.

Well do you want to be the guy at work reading about sperm?

This is why you should not ejaculate in a school zone.

Probably in bad taste...but that give new meaning to Watch For Slow Kids.

Well the planet already moves around 1,300,000 mph through the universe

The NSFW doesn't help when the title also has the word sperm in it

Well the URL doesn't, but the original link does.

Eh, I'm lucky enough to work alongside other intellectually curious adults who can be open and mature with such things. TBH I don't think it would bother anyone or be considered weird at all. I'd have to have actual porn up on the screen in the shared working area to cause a problem.

Big companies have network monitoring and filtering enabled.

You just told yourself, and only yourself, a joke.

it's called the Superman:
you jizz on their back when they're still asleep, slap the sheets down, and when they get up.. voilà

Well I don't even know if it's a joke, but just something about Superman's spunk traveling as fast as he can, and how it would wreak havoc during some intimate moments causing some carnage or something to that extent. I don't even know. Maybe it's just something my dad was joking about when I was younger.

It's a short story by Larry Niven

Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex

That's 45 km/h for the non-burger world.

That was a risky click.

Holy crap. Well that explains a lot with that memory. Dad used to read a ton of sci-fi. I was actually just commenting about Larry Niven and my dad in another post, The one that was asking why nobody has redone Dante's inferno in the 20th century.

e: I think he either must have read me the story or paraphrased it to me when I was younger, I'm going to have to bring this up next time we're having a meal together lol. I read the entire short story you posted (very short! I read it while eating a carrot for breakfast!), and so much of it brings back more memories :) what a fun concept it explores, thank you so much for sharing the link, this made my morning!

Not if you're Homelander...

I'm sure somebody's into that

TYVM

Your mom jokes are still funny and probably always will be. Hell, they’ve been doing it for centuries.

Glad to hear it! Maybe you can get into reading short stories with him :)

Picturing the Mythbusters team with a radar gun.

Living up to your user name in being awesome <3

Bad taste? Pineapple should help.

Now go dig up an antique essay titled "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex"

That would be a fantastic wrapping paper for birthday.

And smart employees only browse with VPN on.