I've got a bit of a weird situation going on here, and I want to hear what the fellow transes and the fellow RPG players have to say about it. So I'm crossposting it to both communities.

So I started a new Beam Saber campaign, and one of My players came up with the idea of playing as "Egg James Bond". A womanising super spy who still thinks she's a cis guy. It sounded like a fun story to tell, especially the moment where she comes to accept herself and transes her gender. So we've played three sessions so far, and Egg James Bond has been exactly the kind of misogynistic A-hole we were promised.

Except, a complication: The person playing as Egg James Bond is the host of a plural system, and Egg James Bond accidentally becomes her headmate. Her brain adapts to playing as this fictional character, and suddenly he's another person inside her head. Believe it or not, this is a pretty common experience for plural roleplayers.

One of the other players is really bothered by Egg James Bond out of game, because Egg James Bond is a complete A-hole. She's mean, petty, doesn't respect women, etc. Personally, I'm not bothered by this behaviour, because we all discussed the character at session 0 and agreed to make it part of our game. And for Me, the behaviour is staying inside the game. But this other player is deliberately antagonising Egg James Bond out-of-character, receiving exactly the kind of replies I'd expect, and seems bothered by them.

So this other player goes to Egg James Bond and their player/host between sessions, and forcibly cracks her egg. Confronts her and makes her realise that she's a woman inside. Guides her through choosing a name for herself. And this other player seems really proud of Themself, and says they've "fixed" Egg Trans James Bond. And that we can still play through the egg cracking moment in the game, Egg James Bond is still an egg in the game.

But I'm unhappy. I feel like our story has been spoiled. What's the point of playing the story if we already know the ending? So I want Trans James Bond's host to make a new character to play in the game. I don't want to put up with the eggy bigoted version of the character to get to a story moment that's already happened out of game. I feel like the character's story in the game I'm running has been ruined. I wanted to play to find out. But now we've found out, and most of us didn't get to play. And I'm bitter that we put up with the misogyny and pouting without getting the payoff. I was fine with it when it was in service to a story we all wanted to tell, but I don't want to tell that story now that it's already been told.

the way i see it, those story moments didn't happen out of game, because james-bond-the-headmate isn't the same as james-bond-the-beam-saber-character.

the character'll be reacting to different situations, PCs, NPCs, etc that you throw at them, while a headmate is out here reacting to an IRL person.

i'd also say something needs to be discussed between both players involved here though, because deliberately antagonising someone & forcibly cracking their egg, headmate or otherwise, is a Big Deal & it sounds like it wasn't something that happened with a lot of care or consent. i could just be misinterpreting your post, but i hope your player's okay after that.

Thanks for the advice. I'm worried that the delineation between headmate and fictional character isn't as clear as you're saying it is. For one thing, she's already picked her new name. And it has nothing to do with anything that happened in-game, it's a reference to 18th century English culture. I doubt there's a possibility that she'd pick a different name ingame, so I feel like that moment of organic character development that was going to be part of our story is lost now, and whatever happens in-game will just be a contrived excuse to get the character to the same place the headmate is at. I feel like the integrity and fun of the story are gone.

I guess I should ask her and her host/player what the chance is that she'll pick a different name ingame.

i'd advise checking in with your players that everyone is okay, consents to what is happening, & consented to what recently happened in real life, first & foremost.

the game / story / roleplaying should take a backseat to that. stories are easier to rewrite than friendships are to repair!

Good call