Link: https://old.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1u0coiz/tifu_by_bowing_to_an_asian_guy/

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/mIISomeday25 on 2026-06-08 16:21:00+00:00.

Obligatory, this actually happened in November.

A very important point for this story is that my husband and I recently moved from Japan to the US. We were there on my husband’s visa, as he worked for a large international company as an engineer.

I am a white woman, but over the course of our time there was, of course, fully immersed in the culture. When we had first moved to Japan, we had taken cultural competency classes, and we were privately tutored in Japanese. We also had the amazing opportunity to live in a small town, and it was a very tight-knit community who welcomed us and made our time there very special.

Bowing is obviously a huge part of Japanese culture, and since we only recently moved to the states, it’s a habit that has not yet been broken. Not a full, formal bow… but more like the slight incline of the head, or just ducking your head a little bit is the day-to-day way to acknowledge someone, and we still do that reflexively. Someone held the door for us? Duck your head. A car is waiting for you to cross the street? Duck your head.

We recently had the opportunity to visit Iceland in November, and while there we enjoyed some time in the hot springs spa and the sauna. At one point, we decided to cool off, and started to leave the sauna. A man and his partner/girlfriend/wife were headed in. He held the door for us to exit before they came in. I ducked my head in thanks, then looked up to make full eye contact with an Asian man who then deadpanned to me in English, “you don’t have to bow.”

I was mortified! I was too shocked to explain that I do that to everyone and I wasn’t being jerk, and that it was just a reflex. My husband thought it was the funniest thing ever, but I’m still inwardly cringing every time I remember.

If you’re reading this my friend, I’m sorry. I wasn’t being an AH, I promise.

TL;DR Lived in Japan. Recently moved to the states. Bowed to a man of Asian decent who is presumably American.