If you're writing a script for a prequel film, never going back to watch the other films you've made is a great way to save time!

Jedi and their lies

Ahhh, exactly as I remember it

Obi-wan lies to the kid about a lot of things, I just assumed he didn't feel like getting in to the Anakin backstory anyways. Would you tell a kid about how his bio mom was an elite politician who hooked up with a much younger wannabe Jedi for reasons unclear to everyone involved and proceeded to go on a murderous rampage after getting denied a promotion he did not deserve right before he was born, which contributed to her death in childbirth?

We all got a chicken duck woman thing waiting for us.

Alt history Luke:
Hey, what is that thing cut in two pieces on your wall, I can fix that I think.

takes Maul's saber and repairs it.

getting denied a promotion he did not deserve

Not deserve? Listen, Anakin was on a lot of bullshit. But how can he be put on the council and not be granted the rank of master? This is the Jedi equivalent of telling you to teach six classes but denying tenure.

Anakin as a good father and Jedi would have wanted Luke to build his own saber, as that's part of the rite of passage. Not some hand-me-down. Obi-Wan is so full of it in so many ways, all because he was afraid of Anakin/Vader and Palpatine figuring things out. Fear leads to some things, Obi-Wan, thought you knew this stuff.

That wasn't really the Jedi council's fault. Sidious put them in an impossible situation asking Anakin to be his "person on the Jedi council". They were doing their best to appease the Chancellor, not knowing at the time he was a Sith playing them.

The council were a bunch of fucking idiots (Windu especially), but this was one of those times they actually chose the best, worst option.

There was clearly some maturity and wisdom missing before he could go there...

That wasn’t really the Jedi council’s fault.

I don't think anyone can seriously argue that Anakin's skills were below the level of a master by Episode 3. They were being stingy in no small part because they hadn't wanted him trained as a Jedi to begin with. They definitely didn't want him as a peer.

They were doing their best to appease the Chancellor, not knowing at the time he was a Sith playing them.

Sure. They were playing a game of compromise, because they were too fixated on incremental victories and blind to the end game. That's what ultimately spelled their downfall.

The council were a bunch of fucking idiots (Windu especially), but this was one of those times they actually chose the best, worst option.

I don't think it would have made much of a difference. The Jedi were doomed as soon as they started surrounding themselves with Clone Troopers on active battlefields.

But even beyond that, the ultimate sin of the Jedi council was the (attempted) extermination of Sith Lords. They reaped what they'd sown. While Anakin was absolutely a whiny little shit, he wasn't wrong when he proclaimed "From my perspective, it is the Jedi who are evil". The Jedi held dominion over the Old Republic. The Jedi policed the Galaxy and imposed their orthodoxy at saber-point. The Jedi persecuted anyone who used the Force heretically, in no small part because of their own fears and megalomania.

It was the Jedi who unwittingly created the Galactic Empire entirely because they could not conceive of a Galaxy that wasn't firmly under their control.

A damn fine roast, I.ll have seconds!

Well he had to make one eventually unless they recovered it out of the gas giant it fell into after Vader cut the hand holding it off.

Not only is it outrageous... its also completely unfair!

Nah, just give him a laser sword and let him fuck shit up

how can he be put on the council and not be granted the rank of master?

His second one is a completely different color.

"Oh that was just the gas interacting with its kuiper crystal. It was fixed before being given to Rey." - Disney

More Jedi lies, just like when they tried to show doctored footage of Anakin killing younglings. That was all ancient Jedi holocrystals and crooked Kenobi. The bothans made up the death stars, Coruscant is a toroid, and the Jedi eat your pets. Look it up, do your research (searching on the galactic network and listening to shortwave huttcasts), it all adds up.

It's clever, and a good parallel, but damn does this just make me depressed

kuiper

*kyber

Every day I'm waiting all day

Obi-Wan was outed as a bullshitter as far back as Empire Strikes Back, though. This was nothing new.

Surprised he didn't sell Ani's old light saber for spice, frankly.

At some point Anakin wasn't evil. Obi is expressing the ideas that pre-evil Anakin would've had

"Your father wanted you to have this. Go kill some sand people with it."

Also, Luke asks Leia what she remembers about their mother. And the newly born Leia apparently had 2 seconds more with Padme, cause she remembers she often seemed sad. Darnation, don't mess up your own storyline!

Obi-wan didn’t lie to Anakin but George lied to us

I figured force people had awareness in the womb because they are special like that

He could have said that at any point while he was doing padme, no?

You’re talking about Obi-Wan right?

No, I mean look, anakin knew padme was pregnant, he could have had a chat with obi wan off screen at any point saying that he wanted his kid to be a Jedi and that he wanted to pass the torch is some literal sense

Is this the tankie version of Star Wars?

They were trying to hide their relationship, though. Any talk of hypothetical Skywalker kids would have raised the question of who the mother would be, which leads straight back to Padme, so Anakin absolutely would not have ever brought the subject up. Unless he was high as a kite on painkillers, maybe.

All of it could be true, from a certain point of view.