https://blahaj.zone/notes/akwp8qgrofdg0int

now i almost feel like i dont look/act fem enough for how much people call me "she" (out of niceness) it's confusion

Damn this hits too hard for me right now. Not cis.

now i almost feel like i dont look/act fem enough for how much people call me “she” (out of niceness) it’s confusion

oh no

Mumei!

Dress however you want. Do we really need labels?

Is it common for the thought "nah, I'd look absolutely atrocious" to shut down any such idea?

i think everyone has that, obv everybody wants to look good, but:

the way I see it there are two cases:

either you (conventionally) look good presenting as a man, in which case every compliment I would get feels really detached and i don't really feel seen and more trapped in a gender role that feels very unnaural to be seen as and in the mirror

or you already don't look good (conventionally) presenting as a man in which case it doesn't make a difference, might as well be yourself, you'd be surprised what people are into xD

I'm like mid and look kinda genderqueer but not really like a woman at all

imo it's better to feel seen then to persue conventional beauty because the beauty industry is so so toxic and so much work and money and in the end you are more insecure then ever

but consider: the label is just another part of gender expression that gives me euphoria

What if I told you that most of those people probably aren't just being nice, but referring to you in the way that makes the most sense. So many transfems are far more feminine than they think

naah xD

Beauty has always been tied to rarity and difficulty achieving standards. In lean times extra weight is beautiful when there's a surplus being skinny is in, extra time and resources spent on appearance is always attractive.

Lots of words to say trans people are always hot 🏳️‍⚧️

Also that's one of the reasons for the hate we get from the cisheteropatriachy, defying their beauty standards and coming out on top.

Sweatpants and baggy jacket in the summertime. Blushing because heat stroke. Boys think I'm cute because I'm flushed and glistening 👍

sorry, I don't make the rules. Not only are you likely to be more feminine than you think, you're likely cuter than you think as well

you also probably have strong girlsmell ✨

Super. I'm really so happy for you!

I was brought up that we shouldn't apply any stereotypes based on gender/sex; that that was sexism and bad. So it's confusing for me when I see people fight to be one gender so that they can partake in the stereotypes. I thought the fight was that people should just be able to wear what they like (pants, dresses, makeup, suits, etc.), act how they like and have interests that they like, regardless of gender. But I recognize that such ideals haven't really succeeded in western society; so maybe it's easier to wear what you want as a particular traditional gender that you pick. And that's really just another way to look at the same thing. And maybe society understands that more? But it seems like the wrong fight to me; saying you want to be, say, a girl so you can wear and do girly things feels kinda sexist and conservative.

But above all, of course, everyone should be able to wear whatever they want for whatever reason they want. And if you've found yourself, I'm so happy for you.

But I recognize that such ideals haven't really succeeded in western society; so maybe it's easier to wear what you want as a particular traditional gender that you pick. And that's really just another way to look at the same thing. And maybe society understands that more?

I don't speak for everyone but I think for some people this is a big part of it. Fighting for what you just described here is hard enough already. Many people just want to live their lives and be happy. Also, non-binary people exist and are generally considered to be a part of the trans umbrella. I think the first step to building a society where gender truely doesn't matter starts with building a society where all trans people are welcomed and accepted.

No u

It's not really an ideological thing for me, and there is no logic behind how being perceived makes me feel. I'm not a trans woman because I think I should be free to be who I want; I am trans specifically because I have no choice in the who I am.

I too was taught that gender didn't matter and that gender stereotypes and roles were only restrictive limitations. Ironically, this was a big reason as to why I didn't figure out and accept who I was sooner. I definitely appreciated not needing to be manly, but I also felt like I shouldn't mind what my gender is because the whole concept was repressive. I felt guilty for wanting to be girly, for wanting constructed aspects of gender like shaving my legs or meeting conventional standards of womanhood.

I still think the whole thing is silly, but I now know that my gender isn't a choice. It's not just easier and more comfortable to be feminine for me, it's the only way I can really exist. If I don't feel feminine enough, I literally feel like I want to die no matter what I want to believe. Me being this way doesn't invalidate people who fall outside of the binary, as they have as little choice in who they are as I do. Even if someone can literally choose to be whatever gender they want, they didn't choose to have that privilege.

ssssnnnniiiiiifffffffffff

yes

You've gained A Little Jessica Pet

I shall feed you twice a day and if you're good, I shall give you treats consisting of cheese and waffles.

Labels are just a convenient way to efficiently communicate the general idea of, in this case, a person's gender identity and to create a community. If any one person doesn't like to use a label, thats fine! But yes we do need labels. Its just a normal part of language, really.