Soft enough to bite through, no rubbery tooth-bouncing

No octopuses. 🤬

Too chewy or too smarty?

Sentient. Stop eating them. 🤢

I won't, but I understand.

I understand both why I eat animals and why it makes other people upset.

Don't slip into logical fallacy, this is about eating octopus. Claiming you "understand" and still refuse to abstain makes it worse. You do you, but facts are facts.

I understand and accept the reality of multiple cultures/perspectives/opinions. Different food cultures are not a logical fallacy.

I understand eating animals makes some people upset, accept that, and eat animals.

This isn’t about other people...cultures...other animals.

Different cultures eat different things.

This isn't about other animals

Other animals are sentient, your objection relates to them as well.

...jeopardized creatures

Octopuses aren't endangered or threatened.

This is about you.

Yes, I make my own judgments. I understand your arguments and, like many cultures and philosophies outside your own, have come to a different conclusion.