It's like I observe my own thoughts while thinking them. I notice I try to escape this with vices.

I'm usually fine if it's only a single level of self-observation, but then when I start self-observing the self-observer that's observing me, it makes me incredibly socially awkward and makes interacting with people or accomplishing tasks very difficult.

I am learning and getting better at embracing the emptiness. It's my opinion and and theory that the acceptance of "emptiness" is a psychological re-alignment with the primordial void of the cosmos. To embrace the void is to tap into the wellspring of creativity.

This is one of the principle features of a personal philosophy I'm developing that I call "Diogenian Hypererionism".

Having your feet planted firmly in the mud of absolute, unvarnished reality (Diogenes), while your eyes are fixed on the highest, most blinding truths of existence (Hyperion).

​It suggests a lifestyle or mindset where you strip away all of society’s fake rules, pretenses, and superficial goals (Diogenian) so that you can clearly see and embody a higher, more brilliant individual purpose (Hyperionist). You reject the false "lights" of fame, money, and status to bask in the true "light" of universal truth and self-mastery.

Only when i do 2C-B.

Isn't that what dissociation is?

I like this kind of thing but it requires not being distracted by everything in the world. I mean its kinda what im trying to do with meditation. I dunno maybe I don't understand.

Everything is on fire and everyone is pretending it isn't happening. I feel like I'm in an apocalypse movie.

Them is what you call third thoughts. It's like you have you first thought, then have second thoughts, but there's third thoughts back there keeping an eye in what's all going on

Terry Pratchett called them that in his Tiffany Aching/Witches segment of discworld.

But it's a thing, here in the real world. But it isn't something everyone experiences. Often, folks that do have nothing good to say of the experience. I sure as hell don't lol