reasons i may be trans (ftm)

• i kind of want to become a guy
• i fantasised once about my mother telling me how i’ve grown up into such a cute boy
• i sometimes fantasise about injecting t into myself
• i look into the mirror and i almost see a guy (maybe im just delusional 😭)

reasons i may not be trans

• im not dysphoric, im fine being a girl
• i could just be deluding myself???
• i would want to present femininely anyways, forgive me but my ideal self would be a femboy…
• i would really hate facial hair on myself

now that i’ve written all that out, the chance of me being trans doesnt seem to be zero… though it kind of sucks because i wont be able to experiment with my gender presentation trans or not (e.g cant cut my hair or stuff like that due to circumstances) so i guess ill be stuck as a girl anyways haha

sorry for the incoherent rant

Kinda sounds like you might fit under the non binary umbrella?

i kind of want to become a guy

Wanting to be a guy is the #1 sign of being a guy!

im not dysphoric, im fine being a girl

You don't need dysphoria to be trans! Very much not a requirement. If you think you'd be happier as a guy, that's enough.

i guess ill be stuck as a girl anyways haha

but also if the thought of being "stuck as a girl" is upsetting to you then that says a lot. Many trans people find that a lot of the subtle aspects of life that they don't like and either barely think about or just assume are normal are in fact dysphoria, but it only starts to make sense once they accept themselves.

i would want to present femininely anyways, forgive me but my ideal self would be a femboy…

i would really hate facial hair on myself

These also seem pretty normal and not disqualifying to me. Lots of guys don't like their facial hair and prefer to be shaved. Lots of guys present femininely and are still guys.

One of my good friends is Transmasc non-binary, and they have considered getting laser hair removal because they want to be a femboy

Some people question why they "went through such lengths to just be feminine still" but it's what they feel best represents them, which is enough for anyone as far as I'm concerned.

Obviously I cannot tell you what you are, only you can discover your own path, however it does sound very similar to several transmasc NBs I know.

You gotta use the double line break a bit more judiciously, this is really hard to read

Try it. You can always change.

Gender is a social construct. You are you, and can always be your true self at least inside. Your outward appearance doesn't define that. Though hopefully one day you can have the outward appearance that you feel matches who you are inside, if you feel that's part of what defines you.

As a start, you could ask friends to address you as a boy and see how that makes you feel. Read a written message about you saying "him" instead of "her". Accepting new pronouns isn't a requirement though. You don't need to jump into HRT right away, until you are sure (or want to mess around*). None of this is set in stone. Your feelings towards appearance or HRT or pronouns might develop from there. You'll find a comfortable spot for you. ❤️

• but be sure to read about reversible and permanent changes

Also, you might want to look around for someone to talk to offline / in a call. Personally found a local counseling surprisingly helpful, especially to get tipps regarding "what are (possibly) the next steps?" and where to find supportive local medical professionals.

Also, no need to be sorry about "ranting", asking here is a great choice! Many of us are happy to help.

If you're not trans you're definitely something

Wishing you were something else, but being "fine" with what you have is dysphoria

As a masc-presenting transfem enby, I used to tell myself that I didn't have dysphoria and that I was fine being a guy. Turns out I was, in fact, deluding myself, and the gender euphoria I got on day 1 of HRT was life-changing.

IMO, whether or not you're trans is a less interesting question than how would you want to present if you were unencumbered by other people's expectations.

I'm confused; this looks fine on my instance and I previewed it on piefed.ca and it seems fine there too. Are you using an app? Which lines are formatted poorly?

Huh, I guess it does look okay on browser, must be a Voyager issue. Almost the whole thing is formatted as a single block quote.

Oh wow, that's really bad. I just checked on a lemmy instance and it has the same issue there, so this must be a discrepancy in how different fedi clients handle line breaks. (I guess voyager by extension probably follows lemmy conventions.) I'll update my post and try again. It's frustrating that it's this inconsistent.

Transition is a buffet not a set menu. You don't have to know the end goal to make steps to make yourself more comfortable in your gender expression. Try things and pay attention to your feelings. Wishing you the best.