Maybe I ought to buy him a coloring book to practice on.

When people drive a truck and park like this, I usually suggest they get a smaller car that they actually have the skills to drive. A big truck is just too much car for them!

Does he know you ride to work?

I don't care if people park a little lazy toward me - there's extra room because of my bike. In fact, one apartment had some smaller spots on one side, I was always in the same spot so I told my neighbors it's ok to park on the line beside me - it made it easier for everyone.

I tell them (provided it’s a man), “I hope you don’t fuck like you park or you’d never make it in”. Usually gets a laugh and the decent ones go fix the parking job.

I know your boss is a cunt

Sometimes, with trucks like these, you can easily get into the brake light with minimal tools. Sometimes, you can also reach the horn pretty easily. If so, get some long wires and have fun.

Found a template of this a decade ago and had 100 cards printed from one of those websites that offered free business cards by submitting your info (fake info and work address). I leave them wherever necessary.

Dude that's just how i ride