How can she get preliminary tested if we can't at the moment afford professional testing / two opinions? I tried looking into it myself but the only good tests I find online seem to be expensive ones as well

"preliminary testing" and other kinds of screenings aren't super useful to patients. they mainly exist for doctors to use as supplemental evidence alongside their professional judgment to justify writing a referral for full testing.

I was screened twice in elementary school and once in college at teachers' requests, and my screening results indicated I was "unlikely" to have ADHD. But I was diagnosed at 29 years old because I finally listened to the psychiatrist and stopped insisting that I couldn't possibly have it because [insert list of misinformed wrong lines of reasoning].

it's worth looking for testing services that offer sliding scale fees. sometimes they have long wait times, sometimes not. i hope you guys find the care you need, good luck <3

I'm not expert, but a very cheap way to tell is to drink a cup of coffee late at night. If despite the caffeine she can easily go to sleep that's a strong indicator. Stimulants have sort of the opposite effect on people with ADHD.

That's a misrepresentation.

Unmedicated ADHD people have a stimulation deficit and the reason why they're hyperactive, either mentally or physically, is because their brains are struggling to become stimulated enough.

Regarding coffee: this is the unmedicated ADHDer's friend. It can calm people down. But others, like me, who have a formal diagnosis, are heavily affected by caffeine and it will keep me up.

Meanwhile, my partner does not have ADHD and she can drink coffee and sleep fine.

Best way to tell without a professional:

Browse ADHD memes together.

If she relates to the memes far more frequently than you, she might have ADHD.

If you both relate to the memes in equal frequency, I've got some bad news.

Sidenote:

People with ADHD tend to be friends with people with ADHD

Look up the "BAARS-IV: Self-Report". There are plenty of PDFs on the internet. Filling them out is a very good way to get an indication and most medical professionals across many countries will recognise it down the line - though it obviously does depend.

People with ADHD tend to be friends with people with ADHD

Pow.

That was our first clue on all of this.

She kept saying "lol that's me" at the memes 😂

Thanks! This could be the first step

Pretty common experience, that I've even seen memes of people discovering they're ADHD from memes.

Note: not everyone has the exact same experiences, so nobody with ADHD will relate to every meme.

But there are patterns, and if youre being honest with yourself, its the memes relating to thought patterns and internal dialogue which will be the most telling.

Sidenote:

People with ADHD tend to be friends with people with ADHD

My wife was sure she didn't have ADHD, and nor did I. After we were both diagnosed, over half her friends are now either diagnosed, or fairly sure on also being Autistic/ADHD.

I've found a significantly atypical response to caffeine is a massive indicator of ADHD. It's not 100%, but well passed 80%, based on my completely anecdotal experiences.

I just gave it a look, got about halfway down before skimming towards the end.

"Did you answer 3 or 4 to any question?"

Mate, it was almost all of them. I'm still choosing to believe that "well thats just how life is for everybody right?"

Edit : just went back to it. Check where it effects school/home/work/social relationships. Checked them all except social because I don't really bother keeping friends. Then I realised.

Bollocks.

I'm autistic and exclusively have autistic or ADHD friends. By default if I get along with someone really well, I just presume they have one of them until proven otherwise, and so far I've not been wrong.

I definitely have both ADHD and caffeine makes my symptoms worse. Even a single cup of coffee will have my eye twitching and I'll be anxious. The other day I accidentally drank two mugs of caffeinated coffee and I kept feeling like there was a being standing behind me all day at work just out of sight even though I was in an empty room.

It also makes it impossible to focus on anything. I'll be clenching my jaw racing from a painting to a sewing project to violin practice to work and then I'll be out in the yard gardening and back inside trying to organize a shelf. That time with the two mugs I also couldn't stop obsessing over growing bonsai trees as an investment opportunity, and how I'd setup an automatic watering system for the 200+ bonsai I was going to start from cuttings from a tree in my yard. Good times

So yeah caffeine is not great for my brain. What helps is plenty of sleep, journaling, meditation, eating plenty of fiber, and quitting alcohol and caffeine.

yeah I randomly read a post on the ADHD subreddit from /all and immediately self-diagnosed myself ;D

And autism

Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by Dr Russel Barkley may be interesting for you. It has tests in it and talks about living with adhd as an adult. It's also pretty adamant about getting tested by the pros since you, of course, can't diagnose yourself, only test similarities with classic symptoms.

I'm undiagnosed myself btw, but have a lot of symptoms and have systematically ended up in communities where people are either adhd or autistic. Always thought it was a coincidence until a few years ago.

I quickly bound with bipolar girls as well 👌

Skip the testing and look for accommodations that you can do.
I know a diagnosis is helpful, but it is not the end of the journey. It’s the start.

There a lot of good resources online (like How To ADHD on YouTube) that can help you find ways to improve her life.
There will be some trial-and-error; ADHD is not a monolith. And doing that, she might come across information that will demonstrate to her that does / does not have ADHD.

Some of the advice can also help neurotypical people, so even if she does not have it, it might still help her.

I'm not sure I have seen an ADHD meme that I don't directly relate to.