This works.

"It's not an addiction. I can stop whenever I want to."

instructions unclear, sugary corrosion on the motherboard

also I can still open lemmy on laptop

This is a joke about destroying phones, right? Or does corn syrup somehow not get anywhere and is easily removed?

I am not a syrupologist so I honestly don't know. And no, I'm not trying it.

Also it becomes slimy and tasty 🤤

The laptop is where the best incremental games live

Today's iPhones can survive 30 minutes in water at least, with reports of them being recovered still working long beyond that. But the seals and gaskets are designed against pure water, chemicals will degrade it. Corn syrup is mildly acidic so it would degrade the seals over time, however it's more viscous than water, so it'd have a harder time getting into tiny cracks in the seals.

However, to get it clean again, you'd be immersing and probably lightly scrubbing (charging port) with regular water and soap, which again, not good for the seals, soap will dry them out and make them crack. So you'd be able to do this for a few days, maybe weeks, but it'd eventually fail.

Use mineral oil and it won't hurt the device. I think.

Finally.....someone sensible.

I would probably snack on the syrup too much.

No, not until you add flavoring.

This is like back when I was trying to quit weed, and I found all sorts of ways to put my stash away to make me reluctant to get it out again, short of actually getting rid of my stash, and yet five times a day (at least), lo and behold, I went through the pains of getting my stash out so I could smoke again, until I stopped bothering with it because it only made it more annoying to get out my stash which I was still going to do anyway...