I'm optimizing to stay as far away from this as I can, it just sounds like parody now, or since it's linkedin I guess a parody of a parody

My code would look like this:

if{x>0}

positivecountplusplus;

no, not that, I mean positivecountplusplus;

No! I mean increment positivecount;

NO! Erase, stop typing all that;

Erase last four lines;

FUCK!;

{endif}

Good to see that 100x developers still don't get their own office, just a gimp mask.

Why the hell would it be a good thing to withhold knowledge from junior devs?

I would bet cold, hard cash that the people making and selling this spent time during the early COVID pandemic screaming about how masking is a communist plot that violated their rights.

I can type at 150 WPM, what now

Hold on a second, I remember these things being sold a couple of years ago... The only difference was that they were marketed towards gamers so you could scream slurs without mother taking away your Good-Boy-Points™️

Here's the kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/metadox/the-phasma-a-voice-dampening-mask-for-gamers

Yeah, because typing speed is the bottleneck here...

I have a 6 year old mic that doesn't pick up noise beyond about two inches from it. No need for this mask, this shit is for dumbasses trying to feel smart.

Mind you, I've actually tried some of these newfangled dictation tools. Most of them are a simple transcription -> llm cleaning pipeline that doesn't work nearly as well as they claim. You basically give up all control over the formatting/style. It's also useless where precision matters and you can't have random transcription errors lying around.

The companies behind it claim insanse things like a 10x speedup in wpm you can output. I tried it and it was.. slower.

Part of the problem is me ig. Talking has always required effort for me, which seems to confuse other people. But when I'm dictating to one of these, I'm going slower (because talking clearly is hard) and I'm actively dumber (because talking takes brainpower).

That said, I did find them useful for when I can't type/dirty hands/being lazy.

But there's no need to pay an AI company $20/month for that. I run a model locally, get full privacy and no cost beyond a bit of battery

Person that can say if ( sSmeUngdlyVarName.equalsignorecase('test string') ) {
ListVryViabNameForlst.add(sSmeUngldyVarName);
}
Faster than I can type it?

Or they are just script kiddies.

Oh, you think text to speech is your ally, but you merely adopted it. I was born in it, molded by it.

Pair it with a VR headset instead of a screen and you're almost at peak obedient worker drone.
Just gotta wait for Elons brain-computer interface to dole out reward and punishment directly to your brain.

I can only assume they're saying prompts for vibevoded slop, not trying to write actual code verbally.

What I've read is it's meant to keep crosstalk from multiple devs using AI at once from messing up each other's work. So everyone can just vibe code and not have any idea what they're doing in their own little space.

It’s a big codebase

…for you

lol no one is hiring junior devs anymore anyway

Both of those people are using a keyboard.

Smh he'll be replaced by our 1000x dev, very soon.

Send cash.

Promise, 1000x

Why does it seem like the goal of all this AI crap is "a computer for the illiterate"? For people who can't type. Who want to speak without being heard. Huge market for this.

This sounds like it should have been posted by The Onion.

We need to bring back public flaying as a punishment.

If you can get past the background noise, this is one of my favorite old YouTube videos and it’s basically this: Windows Vista Speech Recognition Test

Holy shit this is the most Onion-looking product I've ever seen. I can't believe this is real!

You can code with stenography https://youtu.be/Wpv-Qb-dB6g?t=1970

Reminds me of this classic https://youtu.be/HbDnxzrbxn4

The new version fits under your nose - making the wearer look like one of the COVID anti mask wearing morons that doesn't understand how a mask works. I hate it all

Three major releases in a day sounds like they have one release and two major bug fixes that day

There's an obvious step down the line to make public education illegal. They'll still need worker drones to be able to operate computers to a certain extent, though. The full chatbot replacement fell through, so they're getting a little desperate.

This will do it:

I look forward to hearing about how this company inevitably implodes.

The problem is with no juniors, you don't get any seniors in 5 years. Every expert was once a beginner...

Meh, wake me when they come out with the vadar mask with virtual screen, and noise canceling headphones with voice changer.

Witness me lowly junior devs, as I ship updates at 150 WPM with my robot legs. Your fear of looking ridiculous is a skill issue. I’m a genius.

Yup, surprised they don't sell an American flag patterned one

If you put on a feeding bag to code I'm going to mock you mercilessly and many people will join me.

up to 20dB

Yeah that ain't doing shit

Just wait

Honestly kinda want one of these for taking meetings on the train

It seems to be wired. How can you maximize your productivity if you have to stop talking to the computer when you leave your desk?

My seat is actually a plumbed in toilet

How did he see me!?

I love how this ad is an apologia whose explicit premise is that you will lose the respect of your colleagues, but they’ll be fired and you won’t so their opinion shouldn’t matter to you. Was this written by Dwight from The Office?

You could always try one of those "spec ops" mics that sit on your throat and work off the vibrations of your vocal cords instead of audible sound.

Add a poop bag to unlock 10000x

So many var names with the uuuuuuuhhhh prefix

"Like, do that thing where it counts by one until it gets to a predefined number, but make that number equal to the number of statements. But, like, do it where it doesn't suck like last time.

"Nooooo, why does it keep counting to 2? Now 3? 4?!"

I kind of wonder just how dirty we could make things look entirely using non-sexual tech gear. Or how close we could really get things to look like a full gimp suit.

The obvious next part is covering the top half of the face with a VR headset. Add one of those "improved strap with added battery" things to cover more of the top and back of the head.

I'm sure there are VR gloves, or motion tracker gloves for V-Tubers. Probably a decent bit of kit there with their motion tracker bands and such.

The real limiting factor has always been the barrier between man and machine. Witness the power of a true 100000x coder: full digital immersion!

Ok "1000x coder" it's time for your daily hose down! Who wants to be a clean boy?