You're making things up again, Arnold!

As a recovering Catholic, it is doubly funny because hell is not even biblical.

The renaissance period is responsible for hell and the visualization of Satan.

*isengard!

Akshully ... it's more like telling them that they'll just seize to exist, neither going to heaven nor hell, nor anything before or in between.

I mean, I like Lord of the Rings, but I don't believe in it. I know it is existing fiction, just like any "holy" text.

Being called "edgy" is funny when they tell you that there's this horrible pit of emoness and death and fire and hot metal chains and trenchcoats and darkness and satan that you're going to go to.

Sounds pretty edgy, bro.

Whooooooooosh

Hell -> fake place atheists don't believe in

Mordor -> fake place christians don't believe in

How many cats did you have to make you finally realize you were Catholic? Did you have to rehab and give all the cats away?

Well, I always tell missionaries knocking on my door: you are telling me that I could be a murderer, a liar, a thief, an adulterer, an overall horrible person, so long as I sincerely repent before I die and accept Jesus into my heart, and I will go to heaven? How is that more moral than being an atheist who is an overall good person?

Hell is absolutely biblical, in the new testament. For example it's discussed in Matthew and second Peter. It's not a thing in the Hebrew bible. Dante's hell is not biblical in the least.

Where? The only one I can think of is Jesus saying there's a place where there's wailing and gnashing of teeth, which could easily be the DMV or the Internet

It was more the Greeks.

Yes a lot of how we see satan in iconography or whatever came out of the renaissance, but the idea of a place of torture in the afterlife has its roots in Greek mythology. (Specifically, Tartarus,)

That said, Jesus definitely conceived of a place of eternal torture for people who didn’t agree that he was all that.

Seems nice.

Every instance of the word “hell” in an English bible comes from a completely different word in the Hebrew and Greek, ones with meanings like “the grave.” Jesus does spin a parable about Hades once. The same Hades portrayed the Disney cartoon Hercules. It is still not “hell,” though.

Still doesn't make sense. Christians believe in hell; neither Christians nor atheists believe in Mordor. It doesn't make sense as an analogy and I don't find it funny. Also, it's only wooosh if OP intended it as a joke (would still be a bad joke). Are you OP?

My grandfather, atheist for all my life, always invited the missionaries in to talk. When I asked him why he said they are good helpers and you just have to act like you are curious about what they want to say and they will do all your chores while they tell you about Jesus.

I would GLADLY go to Mordor. Sure its dark and stinky, but theres a chance I get to see Rivendell and Hobbiton...

I always say we'll see won't we and they look at me like cussed their mother.

What!? The ones visiting me expected coffee and cookies

I like asking which heaven or hell? Mormons have this thing called eternal darkness or some shit and you need to be really bad to go there. But they also have 3 heavens, with the bottom class heaven for heathens like me.

I kind of hope it’s like a resturant. Yes, i’ll have the Heaven of the day, hold the damniation. Yes, yes, i’ll take an order of angel wings and a harp. No, lets save and get just silver, no need to be flashy.

Or better yet, which heaven did the Christians go to? I’ll take the other heaven please.

Look out, we got the joke police over here :3

Telling someone they'll end up somewhere they don't believe exists is as effective as telling someone they'll end up somewhere they don't believe exists. Does the pairity seem more obvious from this angle?

The word 'like' is semantically wrong here.

Christians saying something they believe to be true is like atheists saying something they know is false.

No it fucking isn't.

Ha ha bad analogy much funny, u joke police.

Yeah, if your humor is a potato.

What a stupid fucking hill to choose to die on.

1. this is hilarious
2. you can take that "like" back to my usa grade school teachers and ask them for a refund.
3. The post isn't that funny, but its not confusing. If I thought this dirrhea was in good faith, I'd be worried.

I didn't say it's confusing, I said it doesn't make sense.

What a great contribution to the thread.

Buddy, this is Eh- eeeh- double Hockey stick, pal!

All you're going to see is Minas Morgul and Shelob's Lair!

All us musicians have been responding "hell? Oh goody! That means we finally don't have to do church music" for the last two thousand millennia

Yeah coffee and cookies is way cheaper than fifteen an hour

How many Satans

Didn't Jeremiah have something about a lake of fire or something or was that just the desolation supposed to follow Jerusalem, I am not the best bibblical scholar I just start cults for fun

WIIUWIIUWIIU

Who called for the joke police. You got a loicence for that joike

Yeah, why wouldn't I want to go where all the cool people are. We'll make it work.

"Personally, I think you've got it backwards. I'm going to heaven. You're going to hell. Agree to disagree!"

Tree fiddy

Yeah, I hear gluttony and making good food also drugs usings, which are cinnamon rolls, are also bird sins. And Christmad God is either a transgender bird or a gay whale, if I read my Bibble right WHICH I DON'T I want to make that clear right from the start this time. So why would I not want to go where OH THEIR GOD sent his most reliable servant to take care of tastiness?

Most of what christians mentally picture their afterlife to be was written by a 14th century Italian mad-lad with a chip on his sholder and an axe to grind with multiple popes. Its all sorta blended together these days.

Ill give the other abrahamic cults credit for their attenpts at maintaining a faithful translation or opting to not officially do one at all. Makes keeping track of who believes what easier.

I would GLADLY go to Mordor.

And the Lord said, “If you lay with that infant, you shall burn in the fiery pits of Mordor!”

• Book of Arnold

Are the Satans cute?

Certainty lends no truth to folly. An absurd claim may be answered with an absurd dismissal.

Ah! I see you've read the Bible and like most people it led you straight to atheism!

To serve men is a cookbook

@GutterRat42 @HeyThisIsntTheYMCA

![Red leather-bound book.

HOW TO SERVE THE RICH

It's a cookbook!]()

He speaks of Gehenna (geennē, γέεννα in Greek). Properly "The Valley of The Sons of Hinnom", a place (according to the BDAG) where the final judgment was to take place and the unbelievers would be thrown into the lake of fire.

Yes, "Hell" in the Hebrew bible is Sheol, which is more like "the grave" or "underworld", though the HALOT notes the root is uncertain.

Gehenna, though, as seen in Matthew, is the place where the final judgment was supposed to occur and the unbelievers would be thrown into the lake of fire.

Gehenna — Valley of Hinnom — is a real-world place. At the time of Jesus, it had a horrifying reputation as a place of human child sacrifice to pagan gods. A place of death and evil shunned by YHWH.

Fwiw, that was the first thought I had too! Really funny that everyone is all uptight about a comment they thought was being uptight but began with "akshully". Unless people do believe in mordor, perhaps they do. Ha.