I secretly tell my deaf girlfriend I love her every day when she can't hear me. She still has no idea.

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/JustADude183

Published on: r/AskReddit

Story is: CONCLUDED

Story timeline

• Main Post: July 18, 2022

• Final Update: August 14, 2022

NOTE: The original post was a reply to an AskReddit question. OOP later posted an update on their own profile.

Trigger Warning: Wholesome

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Main Post

^(July 18, 2022)

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What's a secret you'll never tell your partner but are willing to tell strangers on Reddit?

Using my alt because she follows my main account

My girlfriend of 5 years has been deaf since she was 6. She reads lips pretty well, but prefers Sign Language. I didn’t know a single sign when I met her, but I could tell right away there was something between us so I started learning after I got home from our first date.

Fast forward a few years, I’m now fluent in ASL and we use it to talk almost exclusively. When she’s not looking though, I talk to her even though she can’t hear me or see my lips to read. I tell her how much I love her, how I’m going to marry her someday, how beautiful she is, etc. I’ve even been practicing proposing, so it’s not so terrifying when I actually do it. She has no idea and I plan to keep it that way.

 

NOTE: This story was also reposted to r/wholesome, where OOP shared a lot of additional details in the comments. I've included comments from both posts, so don't skip the comments section.

 

COMMENTS

Present_Champion1662

I need an update on this. That’s wonderful! It’s surprising how many family members of Deaf people that don’t learn sign language.

OOP

She’s lucky, her immediate family are all fluent and most of her extended family has learned at least a few simple phrases and words. My side of the family has started learning too, since they know she’ll be part of the family pretty soon. Most deaf people aren’t so lucky, I’m really glad she has such good people in her life.

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Toadie9622

This touched my heart so much. I hope my youngest daughter meets somebody like you.

OOP

I bet she will, I’m not the first guy she’s been with who went to great effort to accommodate her. I’m just the one who was lucky enough to win her over

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WinterPickles31

Dude.. from the mother of two young Deaf daughters.. THANK YOU! The fucking world feels scarily unaccommodating sometimes and it's so good to know good hearts like yours are out there.

OOP

My girlfriend often feels like the rest of the world would rather she didn’t exist, so I go out of my way to show how glad I am she does. All it takes is one person who really cares to make all the difference, so try to be that difference for your daughters. It helps them more than they’ll ever say

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NOTE: The following comments are from the repost on r/wholesome: A legend of a man, this is love right here

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OOP

Hey, I’m the OP! A lot of people are asking for an update. It’s only been 4 days so there’s not much to tell, but here you all go anyway.

We’re still together, of course. She’s trying to convince me to get a puppy, I’m having a hard time convincing her not to. I still talk to her when she doesn’t know, and she still has no clue. After some comments on the original post, I’m getting ready to propose soon, but it still won’t be for a little bit. I’ll definitely record it, but I probably won’t post it anywhere. She’d be pretty uncomfortable with that, and tbh I would too. That’s about it I guess, I have no idea why people are so interested in my love life. Y’all are creeps.

EDIT: oh fuck now even more people are pushing for the puppy

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TheTTT10

How come you don’t want the puppy? Is it because you don’t like them or is it more economical?

OOP

It’s just economical. We already have two cats, and we aren’t exactly rich. However, she does this thing with her eyes that I just can’t say no to, so…

We’re going to the Humane Society tomorrow. She knows exactly how to convince me.

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GunieapigCooper

How did you meet her and why made you connect with her on the first date?

OOP

We met through mutual friends, she had just gotten out of a toxic relationship and they thought she needed a reminder not all guys suck. Still don’t know why they chose me, but I’m so glad they did.

In the first 30 minutes, we both made the same obscure reference. We have practically identical humor, even finishing each other’s jokes, and honestly she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen in real life. I’m not exaggerating, she’s WAY out of my league. As for her, she told me on our 1 year anniversary that she knew I was the one because I didn’t even mention that she was deaf, I treated her more normally than even her family. I honestly had no idea I did that, it wasn’t conscious at all, but I sure am glad it worked.

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Final update - after 27 days

^(August 14, 2022)

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UPDATE: I proposed

After all the comments urging me not to wait, I decided to do it. Life is too short to waste even a day. I bought a very nice ring, silver with three small synthetic diamonds. It’s nothing too special, but it’s exactly her style and expensive by our standards without breaking the bank, so it was perfect.

I told her family my plans and they approved, of course. My family was 100% behind it too. With that arranged, I started planning the proposal. Both of us had already agreed that we didn’t want it to be a huge disruptive event, just the two of us, no family to make a scene. She trusted me to pick a good place. I decided on the beach, and we happen to live just a few hours from one of the best beaches in the world, so it was perfect.

Our anniversary was coming up and we both had the day off. We had planned to go to a local museum, but I asked to change plans to the beach. She was definitely a little suspicious, but she didn’t say anything at the time. At the beach, I let the first few hours pass normally. Just relaxing, playing in the waves, and snacks. I kept the ring hidden in a zippered pocket in my shorts, and even though I knew it was safe, I think I checked it every 5 minutes at least.

When the sun started to go down, I led her away from the crowded area to a more secluded spot. We had a great view of the water, the sun, and some boats further out, but a cluster of palm trees and low bushes blocked us from other people. At this point, she realized something was up. She started looking at me funny, so I knew I had to be quick. I reached for the ring, and…

This is where the anxiety hit. I’m not a very confident person. I knew she would say yes, and I knew I’d planned everything perfectly, there was no possible reason this could go badly, but I was still nearly paralyzed. That’s probably why I dropped the ring.

As soon as I grabbed the ring, it slipped out of my fingers and got lost in the sand. I fucking PANICKED. I got on my knees and started digging through the sand like an animal, the whole time she was trying to ask me what was going on. I wanted to explain, but where would I even start? I found it after about ten seconds, which felt like ten hours, unharmed.

As soon as I picked it up, she saw it and realized what happened. She completely froze for a second, then she started shaking and wheezing like she was having an asthma attack. Then I panicked AGAIN, because I had no clue what was happening and I thought something was even more wrong than it already was. Then I realized she was crying and laughing at the same time, and I started crying and laughing too.

I figured the proposal was already a mess, so it couldn’t get any worse. I held it up to her and just said “I think you dropped this.” It sounded a lot better in my head, to be fair. She fucking lost it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her laugh that much. Once we both calmed down, I did it right, and of course she said yes. Despite the complications, it couldn’t have gone better, and we’re both very happy. We talked about the wedding a little, and it will probably be sometime next summer, but we haven’t decided yet.

I’m not expecting to make another post on this account after this. As far as I’m concerned our story is told, and now it’s time for the next one to start. I have no idea what’s next for us after the wedding- we’ve talked about living in a van to travel the country, so maybe that. Whatever happens, we’ll still be together, and I’ll still be talking behind her back, for as long as I can. To all you guys, I hope you all have wonderful lives. There’s someone out there for all of us, just be patient and you’ll find them. And if you found them, but haven’t made it official yet- do it. Life is short and you only get one, so you shouldn’t waste a single moment of it. Don’t let anything hold you back.

Jake and Lex, signing off!

 

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