The prosecution, represented by my golden retriever, begs to differ

Well, there are dog attacks.

Ecological science has some strongly disagreeing points, but that's coming from a human, so paw in my mouth.

Edit Oh, god. I realised this'll trigger all the " my pet only stays indoors or wears a bell" people. Good. Good! But it's not really about you and that, is it? Save yourself the time and keep scrolling.

Those cats are all guilty

"Your Honor, my counsel Mr. Nibbles needs a five minute recess to attack that sunbeam..."

Those only occur thanks to shitty people who didn't train and / or treat the dogs properly.

I'd argue they're still innocent, if not actually victims - it's ultimately humans fault at the end of the day

kittens cant be lawyers, you have to be at least 1 cat year old to be an adult cat before you can go ta cat lawyer school

They can still attack a neighbor or stranger walking down the street. Saw one recently they killed the dogsitter.

There are wilds animals though.

But it's a moot point cause you can't assign guilt to an animal.

Why does the prosecution have a laser pointer?!?!?!?!?!

Anyone with cats knows they aren't innocent, they are always up to something.

I have a friend who works in forest ecology, he seems to hate all deer on a personal level. Pretty sure if he had the power we would all someday read about a scientist who enacted a genocide on the deer population of North America.

I suspect it's because uncontrolled deer can wreak havoc on an ecosystem and we've driven out/killed most of their natural predators.

Fixed typo

Any problem can be solved with enough wolves!

Dewey, Cheatum and Meow.

They're just innocent in a purely legal sense, cuz human laws don't apply to cats and all that.

Oh he's definitely explained himself, it's his favorite topic to rant about when he's drinking too much.

Basically Native Americans spent thousands of years reshaping the forest in North America to basically become giant deer making factories. The native population didn't cultivate fame animals the same as the Europeans, but they did change the ecology of forest to sustain a very large population on wild game.

After the great dying in the Americas substantially reduced the number of people maintaining the ecology and moderating the deer population exploded. Which is part of the reason colonizers described America as some untouched and ever bountiful land full of wild game. Their expansion west and their hunting of what little natural predators were left just made a bad situation worse.

Now deer are super overpopulated and eating the forest floor clean of underbrush and new saplings, causing a cascading failure in the forests ability to sustain itself and other animals.

“ GET OUT OF MY FUCKING YARD YOU GARDEN TRAMPLING VEGETABLE STEALING TICK INFESTED DISEASE VECTORS”

Basically him, I've been in the car with him when he's pulled over just to yell insults at some deer standing near the side of the road. Pretty sure any deer that actually made it onto his property would just be killed.

reak

wreak ?

I know this might be an unpopular opinion online, but kittens make absolutely terrible lawyers. I'm pretty sure that all of their briefs are written by CatGPT.

This moment may honestly be one of the only great things that came out of the pandemic.

No. there are aggressive dogs who attack innocent people.

Is this the bit about where we place all that foreign food (young conifers) in their area and then get upset when they eat it?

So it wasn't a filter after all? I knew it!

https://youtu.be/0-Lvv1f5Qu4

Nah, did a more in-depth explanation further down. Basically more about overpopulation and their ability to strip ground coverage and young saplings from the forest floor.

Le Chat, you mean.

This could unironically be a real DUI lawyer ad slogan.

Totally underrated comment.

Are you on crack?

I don't. It's just English being not my native tongue.

"Le chat... Are we le cooked?"

I wasn't mocking your English skills. 🤭😅

Crow lawyer: “I object!”

Should I post here gore images of a dog, mauling a child, as a counterpoint?

Look, there are great dogs, but there are also violent dogs. And there are innocent victims of such dogs.

I don't care