I’m tired, boss

Surprises the onion is still in business, would not be surprised if this was actually true

Not only is The Onion still in business, there are multiple other satire news sites as well.

• Dispassionate Reportorial (the article in this post)
• The Beaverton
• The Chaser
• The Hard Times

I'm sure there are more, but these are just the ones I've seen recently.

Are you doing ambiguous and wordy headlines on purpose? Is that part of the bit?

This is bad, actually. This is a pattern of failing to edit. Possibly failing to understand how satire works, or what satire is.

I scrolled past this headline three times, figuring it was some mildly exaggerated reading of The Idiot's fumbling efforts to grift his own disastrous war. I only popped in to snip at whoever approved the phrase "caught allegedly." But no - it's a fabricated event, that's supposed to be laughably absurd. So why is it phrased like a hoax instead of a joke?

"The Idiot offers Iran great deal on nukes." Nothing extraneous. Understated. Painting him as a sleazeball, rather than belaboring the hypocrisy as a limp coda.

Or going the other direction, "The Idiot caught on video trading suitcase nuke for burlap sack with dollar sign, and the word allegedly goes in here somewhere."

Or "Global reserves of 'allegedly' running low, allegedly."

Thanks!